Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive
by Rikku-Lin-Minouke
Summary: He needed a roommate, I had to get out of my parents place. He was a friend of a friends, and I just worked in a coffee shop. He is sweet and very smart, and I have a lot of secrets. Over time, he may just unravel all of them. KxB
1. Chapter 1

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive **

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

**Authors note: I ended up deleting my old story called "The Story of Us" and this is pretty much a rewrite with a twist. I kept Botan's back story but changed the major plot. It's a lot more serious than my last story. The characters in the beginning may seem a bit out of character but I think as the story progresses I can make them feel like their old selves. With time, everything heals. **

Chapter one

I guess you could say that this is the most important story of my life. There was so much that happened to me within that year, I don't know where to start. Do I start with telling you about why I left school? Or do I start with the doctor appointment? In the end it probably doesn't matter where I begin. The ending is always going to be the same. That was the year you came into my life.

* * *

The steam drifted up from my coffee cup as I leaned back into the charcoal, metal weaved chair. Snow sprinkled from the clouds, coating the sidewalk at my feet. Night had already fallen, casting a morbid tint on the world around me. Raising the cup to my lips, I sighed into the liquid before sipping on the decaf mocha. I checked the yellow plastic watch on the underside of my other hand as I stood.

In the parking lot in front of me there were two cars, including my own ten year old Taurus. The other vehicle belonged to the teenage girl I was working with tonight. Tossing my cup into the green garbage cans, I turned to head back into the warmth of our coffee shop.

"Question!" I heard the new girl call from the back room. Shrugging my black sweater into a more comfortable position, I took my time walking toward her. My shoulder pressed against the metal door frame as I watched her for a moment with raised eyebrows. Her long aqua hair was tied back in a French braid under her black and brown baseball hat. The beige apron was tied in the front with the brown strings crossing behind her back to meet under her bust line.

"Answer?" I cocked my head slightly as she turned to face me with her hands on her hips. She blew an invisible hair off her face.

"I thought I would start night chores while you were on break," she bit her lip and gave me pleading eyes. I had to remind myself she was only sixteen.

I glanced at my watch again, "You realize it's only five, right? We still have four hours until close." She nodded at me, but her puppy eyes didn't go away. "What'd you do?"

"I didn't break anything," she held up her hands defensively.

"That's a start."

"However…" I could almost see the beads of sweat forming on her forehead. "I spilled the bag of nutmeg behind the counter."

"Cool your anxiety girl," I almost laughed at her. "Just grab the broom and dust pan in the corner there." I pointed her in the right direction and shook my head, my blue bangs swishing back and forth. "I won't tell Koenma, just make sure it's all cleaned up."

"Thank you so much!" Her squeal was high enough to burst my ear drums, so I turned promptly and headed back to the counter.

"Plus, Juri," I said over my shoulder, "I honestly don't see Koenma getting mad because you spilled a little nutmeg. This is still your first week."

"He intimidates me," She murmured from close behind me.

As we approached the counter, I saw a dark green Toyota pull into the front parking space. The head lights illuminated the brown tiled floor by the door. Straightening the stack of giftcards, I stood behind the counter with a clickable permanent mark in hand. Behind me, the swoosh of the bristles of the broom over shadowed the music sampler playing through the speakers. My pink eyes followed any movement I could make out through the glass.

The bell rang over the door, as a man walked in to the shop. His eyes drifted around the empty room slowly before casually walking toward the counter. For a moment, he stopped and gazed at the coffee cups we had on display. I watched as he fingered one of our Geek Week collection cups.

The brushing behind me stopped as Juri walked toward the back with the full dust pan and broom. I let my attention follow the girl to the backroom. When I turned back to watch the man, he was only a few feet from the counter. Planting on a bright, fake smile, I greeted him.

"Welcome to Grounds," I said with a small tilt of my head; people usually liked that. Looking up at the man, the first thing I noticed was the radiant red hair. Next were his shining jade eyes. "What can I get going for you today?"

His eyes left my face as he glanced up at the board behind me. The man reached his right hand to his back pocket where he pulled his brown leather wallet out of. "I think I'll do a large peppermint white mocha with an extra shot."

My left hand reached for the cup and I started writing on the side. "Can I have your first name?"

"Kurama."

Nodding my head as I finished the cup, I set it on the counter and typed his order into the computer. "Alright, Kurama, your total is $5.25."

"Do you want me to make it?" Juri whispered behind me. Glancing back at her I nodded. The sound of her feet shuffling followed in her wake. The metal cup clinked on the counter as she set up for the drink. Out of the corner of my eye I watched her pour the milk, pump the mocha, and place the rod in the cup. The hissing of hot air filled the room as Juri went to grab the cup.

"Here's six," the man handed me two bills. I tapped the screen and the drawer opened. Smiling at him, I handed him his change.

"Your drink will be ready in just a moment, Kurama," I told him and turned to look at Juri who was still reading the paper cup. "What are you stuck on, Juri?"

"What drink is this?" she asked and bit her bottom lip.

"Peppermint white mocha," I told her. "It's just like the peppermint mochas you've done. Did you add the white mocha instead of the regular mocha?"

"Yes," Juri smiled at me.

"Ok," I nodded. "Then just add the peppermint to the cup and start your shots." She blinked twice before putting the syrup in the cup and setting up the espresso shots.

"Training?" the man's voice shocked me. My head shot up to look at him over the bar walls.

"Excuse me?" I asked because I honestly didn't expect him to say anything else to me.

"Are you training tonight?" he asked with a little side smirk. He was rather attractive; I couldn't deny that.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I believe this is her third day, right Juri?"

"Yep!" Her chirp sounded as she swirled the liquid in the bottom of the cup.

"Are you new as well?" he asked and stared at my face as if he was trying to place me in his memory. I gave a short laugh and shook my head. "I can't say I've seen you here before."

"Are you a regular then?" I asked and felt the edges of my mouth turn up into a playful smile.

"I guess you could say that," he nodded.

"Hey boss," Juri said lightly and I glanced over at her. "What do I put on top?"

"Whip and peppermint crumbles," I told her and looked back at the man who was still picking apart my appearance. "What?"

"If you aren't new, then why haven't I seen you before?" he asked me. His green eyes were shining bright.

"Pushy," I laughed to show I wasn't offended. "I've been here for almost seven years. The last few years I was away at college, but I've been here during the holidays and breaks."

"Are you on break already? I thought classes were still going?" he grabbed the cup of coffee Juri was offering.

"No," I told him. "I'm done with school now, finally."

"Well congrats on finishing," he said and raised his brown cup as if he was toasting me. It made me chuckle slightly at his attempt. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I didn't graduate.

"Thanks," I smiled at him and picked up the foam filled pitcher. Turning around, I ran it under the warm water before setting it upside down on the black drying pad.

"Well, maybe I'll see you tomorrow," I could hear the smile in his voice before I even looked back up at his face. His tight grey zip up sweatshirt did nothing to hide the broad shoulders and bulk of his biceps.

"I'll be here." Honestly I tried to sound nice, but by the raise of one eyebrow from Juri, it must have come off as otherwise. Coughing slightly in the back of my throat, I tried to change my tone. "Have a great night Kurama."

I watched him take small strides to the front door. Setting his hand on the door release, he turned to look back at me. "What's your name? I'd look at your name tag, but you don't have one."

That actually made me break out into a real smile. It was something me and Koenma always argued about. The boss always told me I had to have one, but I refuse and keep telling him that most people in this small town already know who I am. "Botan."


	2. Chapter 2

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive **

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own shit**

**AN: ya know i was gonna wait a week or so before posting again, but i just received an amazing review from a dear friend/ writer/ and reader that just for her, I had to post this right away. For you Smexy Kitten. I'm glad to be back writing again. I've missed all of you guys here on Fanfiction. Hope you enjoy.**

Chapter two

Who knows if you actually want to hear any of this. Maybe someday you will look back and think differently of me. I could go as far as to hope you would be proud of me after sitting through my story.

* * *

I sat on the black roller chair in the office counting our petty. The black and grey work phone was nestled in between my ear and shoulder. "Yes Koenma, I spilled the nutmeg. It slipped from my fingers last night while I was trying to close the top of the bag."

Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, thirty, forty…. Wait, no that's not right.

Straightening my back slightly, I recounted the fives. Nodding at something the boss said even though he couldn't see it, I typed the number into the calculator. "I'll make sure to set up the stand tonight so you can fill it in the morning." I picked up the next stack of bills. "I'm sure it is a two person job. It'll get done tonight, don't worry so much."

Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty.

"I know, I'm your best employee," I snorted at his comment. "I've also been here the longest. That's why I'm your assistant. I'm also the only one who puts up with you." I listened to him argue my comment for a moment. "Listen Koenma, I need to get back up front. Unless you want me to leave Juri up there by herself." He quickly let me go and I finished my counting before locking the safe. Sighing briefly, I pushed back the chair and stood. Running my hands down my face slowly, I walked out of the office.

"You actually are here."

I blinked a few times at the male voice before I located where it came from. There stood the man from the day before at the front counter with Juri attempting to ring up his drink. At this time of night there was never anyone here.

"Kurama, right?" he nodded and I walked up behind Juri. "I said I'd be here. Did you not believe me?"

"Like I said, I hadn't seen you before," Kurama told me, his green eyes had a sparkle to them.

"Hey Botan," Juri drew our attention toward her. "I accidently hit cash. What do I do?"

"Ok, make sure you print the receipt," I said, looking at the screen over her shoulder. Making sure she got the paper copy. "Set that aside and reenter his order. Use the proper form of payment this time. I'll fix it later. Yep that's right. I'll make that for you real quick." I side stepped to the bar and started his drink.

"So are you the official night manager then?" He stood at the serving counter, watching me work.

I shrugged one shoulder as I watched the espresso drop its last few drips. "I'm the assistant."

"The assistant?" he was reaching. I slightly felt bad that I wasn't as open with conversation as I used to be.

I glanced at him and felt my eyes glue to his face. He had strong cheekbones and a sturdy jaw. This was the type of look I used to dream about in a man I was with. Today he had his red hair pulled into a ponytail at the base of his neck. I used to love red hair. "I'm the assistant store manager. The store manager opens; I then close."

"Every day?"

I shook my head as I topped off his drink with whip cream and crumbles. "No, I have Wednesdays and Sundays off."

"Well then I know to expect to see you most days of the week," he chuckled slightly as I handed him his drink.

Nodding, I glanced back to see Juri stocking our snack section. "What do you do Kurama?" My fingers fidgeted with the hem of my quarter length Grounds tee shirt. The beige stitching had started to unravel months ago, but I refused to ask anyone to help me sew it back up.

When I glanced back at him, he was swallowing a sip of his mocha. "I actually work overnights at the Super Target down the road. I stock produce all night. Take care of the load."

"So no decaf for you, ever," I smiled when he laughed. For some reason his laugh encouraged me to keep talking. "Over nights pay well, don't they?"

He thought about it for a second before his lips turned up into an open smile. "A few dollars more. But it's kind of nice to do my own thing while I work. Some people can't handle the lack of human interaction during the night shift. Others can't handle the hours, whether it's because of the sun or personal influences."

The bell over the door rang catching both of their attention. A woman with short brown hair walked through the door. Juri stopped stocking the chips to turn and greet the customer. "Welcome to Grounds for Divorce. How are you doing today?" The other woman smiled at Juri before responding. Turning back to Kurama, I gave him an awkward smile.

"Yeah, I should get going too." He raised his drink as a goodbye note and walked towards the door.

"Botan?" I glanced at the new woman. Her mouth was open slightly in what appeared to be an angry gasp. "You're home? And you didn't call me?"

I laughed at her comment and walked over to the register, waving goodbye to the red head. The bell on the door sounded again as he exited. "Hey Keiko. I haven't been home long. Couple weeks maybe. Just had to get some things in order. Koenma gave me a promotion."

"It's about time, really," She smiled. "Oh jeeze, we need to catch up. By the way, when did you get cozy with Kurama?"

"Small town…" I mumbled to myself. "I just met him yesterday actually." I turned to my coworker and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I can take care of this if you wanna sweep and mop the backroom." She nodded and left me up front with my high school best friend.

"What is going on?" Keiko lost her fake smile when Juri exited. "Seriously man, you dropped off the edge of the world this past year. We all miss you. What are doing back home? Are you still with that guy?" I tried to give her a little forced chuckle but she saw right through it. "Don't play games with me. I got enough of that from Yusuke."

"Whoa, Keiko," I held up my hands in defense. "I'm not with him anymore. It's officially over." There was no way I could've stopped the sigh from leaving my lips.

"It's for the best," Keiko nodded approvingly. "Honestly, I can still see the control he has on you. Do you still want to be with him?"

"No," my answer was very quick, maybe even a little too quick. I'm sure my eyes were wider than normal, nostrils flared slightly, breathing picked up.

She was silent for a moment, searching my face for clues or answers. "… what… happened?" Looking down at my hands, I saw the tremors start. They were small enough that most people wouldn't notice, but I didn't doubt for a moment that Keiko did. "Do you want to get together later or something?"

"I'd love to get together, but honestly," I told before taking a deep breath and raising my eyes to the ceiling. "I can't talk about what happened yet. It's still too hard."

Nodding, Keiko remained silent, watching me intensely. I was starting to feel self-conscious, but I knew at this point there was nothing I could do but breath. There was no way I was going to start crying at work. After a few moments, she whispered, "Whenever you wanna talk, I will be here for you. Just pick up the phone. I work from home, remember." That caused me to smile a little.

"I'm off on Sunday," I said looking back at her face. "Want to grab some lunch?"

"Maybe a chick flick too?" Keiko gave me a reassuring smile and I nodded. "It's a date then!"

"Did you want some coffee?" I asked her and she blinked twice before laughing.

"Yes please," Keiko said. "A large dark roast would be fantastic."

"Coming right up." Smiling at her for a moment, a real smile even, I turned and filled up a brown cup with our French roast.


	3. Chapter 3

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive **

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: Don't own YYH …. Sadly.**

**AN: two chapters in one day. Day you guys are spoiled or I'm just in that good a mood!**

Chapter three

Honestly, I had no idea what I was getting into. It wasn't because I was bored or lonely. There was just this feeling, that maybe, just maybe, you would need me as much as I needed you. For me there was never the option of saying 'no'.

* * *

I sat across the table from Keiko at the Buffalo Wild Wings in town. We were both munching on boneless wings while digging through meaningless small chat. Through all of it, however Keiko was studying my every move with her deep brown gaze. I felt like a lab experiment, but I didn't want to see all the end results.

I placed another piece on the end of my fork. Keiko swallowed her bite before speaking again. "On a serious note, Botan. You aren't the same girl who left here three years ago, are you? I mean, really, you physically are, I get that." She rolled her eyes at her own comment. "But what happened to you? And I don't want you to get defensive. I'm asking as your best friend, not a judgmental peer."

"Where do you want me to start?" I gave a self-pitying laugh.

"When you left here for school three years ago, you were so bubbly and energetic. So full of life; ready to be friends with anyone who would talk to you. That even included becoming friends with Hiei!" Keiko had started to use a lot of hand gestures.

"Is there a question in there?" I couldn't help the snicker that came from my lips.

"It's good to hear you laugh," Keiko settled her hands on the edge of the table. "But what happened in this last year to make you so…." She took a deep breath and took a second to find the right words. "So cut off. Hollow. It's almost like only half of you is actually here. A sadder half."

"What happened…" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "A boy happened."

"What does that even mean?" Keiko asked. Looking down at the food on my fork, I felt myself drift back to the months I was with him. My muscles tightened in anticipation and my lungs felt heavy.

"I don't know if I can talk about it," I told her. "It's too soon for me." And honestly, 'too soon' meant I still had the final reminisces of a bruise on my hip. One I got a few days before I left that city. It was his final goodbye.

"But it was bad, obviously."

"Yeah," I nodded and set the fork down in my basket. "I've been home two weeks. I left school because of him. I'd see him everywhere I'd go, it was too much. There was no escape." I had to stop talking because I could feel the rambling start and the longer I let that go, it would just spiral out of control. She let me sit in silence while I collected my emotions and tried to put a make shift lid on them. "I moved back in with my parents, in my old bedroom."

"Wait, your dad was ok with this?" Keiko raised her eyebrows at that.

Shrugging, I said, "Well, for now he is. But I'm sure I'm on a time limit before he starts to unwind again. I don't know what I'm going to do, though. I mean Koenma gave me a nice raise with the ASM promotion."

"Poor George," Keiko snickered.

"Yeah, I don't think he was too upset," I smiled at that. "It would mean being around Koenma a lot more often and I get the feeling that he got his fill while I was away."

"Have you looked for places to live around here now that you have a decent paying wage?" Keiko asked, taking a sip of her cherry soda.

Taking another deep breath, I thought about my answer. I have been doing that a lot more often in the last few months, lots of sighing and deep breathing. "I've looked, but things are kind of out of my price range."

"What about a roommate?"

Raising one blue eyebrow I searched her facial expressions which she cleverly left blank. "You and Yusuke have a spare bedroom?"

She picked that moment to take another sip and I knew I probably wouldn't like her suggestion. "Kurama's looking for a roommate. Hiei moved out to go live in a high end studio in St. Louis Park."

"Seriously, Keiko?" I laughed, not because I thought it was funny, but because I couldn't believe she just suggested it.

"He hasn't put an ad out yet, but I know he's looking for someone," Keiko quickly said. "I mean you guys obviously have met and seemed to get a long-"

"I've seen him a total of maybe four times."

"-and I'm sure you want to move about before your dad loses his cool." Keiko finished and I shut my mouth tightly. "Just think about it, because I know you and I know your family. You aren't going to last long living with your parents. Yeah, your mom is amazing, but I don't think your dad is going to help your situation."

"Alright, I'll talk to him if he comes in tomorrow and humor you about thinking of _actually_ moving in with this guy," I nodded and Keiko smiled brightly.

Keiko smiled brightly. "I'm just looking out for you hun. But on a better note… 80's romance movie today?" This made me smile. She knew exactly what to I needed. "The Princess Bride, Romancing the Stone, Big, One Crazy Summer, Blind Date… the list goes on. When Harry Met Sally, Overboard, Better Off Dead, Say Anything, or even a little Breakfast Club."

"I'm kind of feeling Romancing the Stone right about now," I nodded slowly.

"Let's do it!" Keiko said flagging down the waiter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: nope, still don't own anything. No YYH for me**

**AN: Sorry it's a bit short. It's kinda just leading into the rest of the story …. Dun dun dun!**

Chapter 4

Really, the most important things happen when you least expect them. At least that's how the majority of things in my life happened. More importantly, that's what happened with you. I had no way of knowing you would come into my life when you did, but there probably wouldn't have been a better time. I think that winter; I needed you in my life.

* * *

"I heard you had a play date with Keiko," Kurama smiled at me from across the bar. I could feel the unforgiving blush bloom on my face. "What'd you guys do?

I snickered before raising my chin slightly and leveling him with what I hoped was a serious gaze. "Are you checking up on me Mr. Kurama?"

"Wouldn't have a reason to," Kurama continued to gaze at me with that charming smile and a twinkle in his eyes. Raising my eyebrows up slightly I also continued to meet his gaze. We both stared at each other until finally he blinked and took in a deep breath rolling his eyes briefly to the ceiling. This brought a huge smile to my face and I did a tiny jig in my head over the success. "Ok, I ran into Yusuke the other day at Game Stop and he made a passing comment about the two of you."

"Passing comment, eh?" I turned to the espresso machine, wiping down the metal wand until it gleamed. "We went out to eat and then back to my place to watch a few movies and pig out."

"Sounds like a fun time," Kurama was watching my facial expressions as I talked.

"It was a lot of fun actually." Setting the sanitized rag back into its container, I turned my body to be facing him. Instead of speaking, I tilted my head to the side and narrowing my eyes. Gazing at his face, I really tried to pick apart his character. His red hair shined even when pulled back into a pony tailed which made his green eyes gleam more than any man I had ever met. Either he had extraordinary natural selection or he was great at grooming. Whichever it was, he was very attractive. I saw him raise his eyebrows at me this time, but I kept staring.

His shirt was a nice red polo, covered by a very soft looking black hoodie. One that, if I didn't know better, was on the spendier side. My conclusion then is that he liked to take care of himself. If he takes good care of himself then he probably would take care of where he lived. Nodding mainly to myself, I decided to finally say something.

"Kurama," I smiled then.

"Botan," he hadn't relaxed his brow yet.

"Keiko told me you were looking for a roommate," I watched his eyebrows slowly slide back in their normal place.

A slow reassuring smile appeared on his face. I wasn't sure if that was on my behalf or purely for himself. "I am, actually," he said meeting my gaze. "Do you happen to know someone that would move in with me? I have a spare bedroom and he could move in right away. It's right off of highway 101 on Lake Susan. Rent would be about six hundred, but that includes water, trash, sewer, and heat. I'm willing to split electric and internet fifty-fifty. There is one spot underground but seriously endless amount of parking outside. The place is a two bed, two bath with a washer and dryer in unit and there is a pool with a decent clubhouse. Work out facility and library in each building."

Nodding as he talked, I listened closely while doing some basic math in my head. "Alright, I might have someone in mind. I'll just have to talk about budgets."

"That would be amazing," he let out a breath I hadn't realized he was holding. "When Hiei moved out a few months back, I thought I might be able to get by without one, but honestly I'm not so sure anymore. While it's do able, it isn't comfortable living."

"Yet, you come in here every night before work?" I asked with a small chuckle.

Standing up a little straighter with a hint of laughter in his voice, he said, "Yeah, well I make a point to budget for this; time and money."

"Mmhmm," I laughed and the bell on the door rang as a high school couple walked in chatting non-stop to each other. "Alright, I think it's time I actually did something tonight. I'll let you know tomorrow about the roommate thing."

"Sounds good," he stepped away from the counter. "Have a good night Botan."

"You too Kurama." I watched him walk out of the door as I approached the children at the register.


	5. Chapter 5

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: don't own yyh today… or tomorrow… or yesterday**

Chapter five

There is just so much to tell you, but one thing is for sure. If I could go back and change things, I'm not sure I would change a single thing because to me, you were my greatest gift. Even if at the time I hadn't fully realized it though.

* * *

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. My head throbbed lightly from all the crying I had done within the last hour. My parents were both at work but would return a little after four. Which is when I normally would have been well into my shift at Grounds, but after my day I actually called in. Koenma surprisingly was pretty cool about the situation when I talked to him. He didn't ask for details, just made sure I would be back the following day.

I blinked several times, attempting to get the crusties out of my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I let my right hand skim down the side of my face until it dropped to my stomach. There it lay with an open palm.

"Breathe…" I whispered to myself. I took a deep breath trying to loosen the grip my muscles had on my stomach.

My head rested on the pillow top mattress; my king size pillow thrown across the room in one of my crying fits. Another deep breath in to calm my frantic heart. The lids of my eyes sagged in thought as my thumb rubbed a circle above my belly button. The cotton of my shirt slid tenderly against my skin. The face of a man I'd hoped was long gone burned through my mind. A few more tears leaked from my eyes, adding more fuel to the fire in my heart. My hand clenched the fabric at my stomach on its own accord the longer I let his face torment me. How could this one man make me fall this far down?

One last deep breath and I pushed myself up to a sitting position. My head banged a broken melody against my skull. The floor looked like a death trap waiting to be put to work. But I braved it anyways. Scooting to the edge of my queen sized bed, I sniffled in hopes to clearing my nose enough to even my breathing. This was the bed I had found on the curb during move out week two years ago. I remember Yusuke and Kuwabara driving up to my college with Yusuke's green truck to help me snatch it before the garbage men did.

Pushing two books out of the way with my big toe I placed my feet against the hard wood floor. There seemed to be more items on the floor than on my shelf or desk in the room now. My feet touched the ground as my breath left my lungs. Raising my eyes from my black painted toe nails, I noticed it on the dresser by my bedroom door. For a few minutes, if not longer, it felt like my eye lids refused to blink. As if I couldn't afford to lose sight of the one item that caused my tantrum.

The white wand sat on the oak top taunting me. The pink plus sign was like a neon light shining into the night sky. Fresh tears dripped down my cheeks and landing on my knees.

"I'm pregnant…" the whisper sounded like it was too far away to be my own voice. How was I supposed to tell my parents about this? Could I even tell them? Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. Still, the image of that test still presented itself in my mind. A beacon of misery blinking brightly.

Feeling a sob rake through my body, I let it shake my shoulders. His face appeared in the palms of my hands as I stared at them looking for something I couldn't pin point. Sighing heavily, my eyes traced the long strands of red hair, coasting over the pale skin of his face, and drowning in the darkness of his amber eyes. He wasn't even in front of me, the image was a hallucination and I knew it; yet I still felt like he was in front of me. I could hear his self-absorbed laughter as he told pushed me over the edge.

Oh god, he loved to see how far he could push me until I broke. What would be my final straw today before I came crawling back because I had nowhere else to go. Even now, I was tempted to pick up my phone, but I knew better deep down. If I called him, I'd probably hear him laugh and say something like, "That's what you get" or "have fun with that". No…. no, calling him would be the worst idea. He had to stay out of my life. I left college to get away, even moved back in with my parents. This was not going to make me go back to him again.

A child's life with no father is better than a life with that man as a father.

Lifting my head to gaze at the pebbled ceiling I sucked in a breath through my teeth. That last thought confirmed a lot of things though. I was keeping this baby and without the father.

But what about my father….

Shaking my head, I closed my eyes but still felt the sting of the tears forcing themselves out and down my face. Their slow trek down felt hot and unwanted. The skin on my arms twitched beyond my control. It was a weird feeling, my muscles were red hot, but the outer skin was freezing cold. I couldn't control the temperature of my body. Well, really, I couldn't control anything in my body apparently.

I couldn't tell my parents yet, but if I stayed here then they would find out in no time. Keiko will be happy to know that I'm taking Kurama's offer. Even though he didn't realize he'd given it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke (Me)**

**Disclaimer: I own the cup of coffee in my hand, not YYH**

Chapter six

From the moment I found out, I felt like everything I did from that moment on was for you. I stopped thinking about myself and tried to focus on you and what could I do to make you the happiest person. In the end I'm sure I made a few mistakes, but I will never stop trying to make them up to you.

* * *

Bending to roll up the black mats at Grounds, I took in a huge breath to fill up my lungs. After yesterday, I felt very drained. Who am I kidding; I've felt out of it for the last week. Standing back up, I grabbed the black plastic and carried it to the back room. George was sitting on the office chair looking at his phone. Throwing the mat into the mop corner, I placed one hand on my hip and looked at him without saying a word.

A minute passed before he looked up at me. "You look really tired Botan."

"Thanks George," I said lowly. "Would you be willing to help me out for a minute?"

Setting his phone down on the desk he stood. "Oh yeah, I can do that." We both walked out to the lobby to see a tall dark man standing at the register.

"If you would finish rolling the mats up, I'll get this." He nodded at my words before I approached the man. "Good evening sir, what can I get for you?" As he ordered, I started to feel car sick. I took several breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth. "Your large green ice tea is 2.50." Swallowing the awkward lump in my throat, I could feel the car sick feeling get worse. Out of the corner of my eye, George returned from throwing the mats in back. "Can you make this George?" He quickly got on the task as I handed the man his change. "Alright sir, that will be up right away."

I rolled my shoulders with my eyes closed, inhaling deeply through my nose. The bell rang on the door and I looked over to see Kurama smile at me as he walked over. "How are you doing today?" His voice actually made feel a lot of mixed emotions. For one, it made my anxiety spike slightly because I knew I had to talk to him about his apartment. Second, I was very relieved to see him and I wasn't sure why my heart felt lighter.

"I'm getting by," I shrugged and looked up at him from across the register. He had a small graceful smile on his face. I was happy to see that he'd left his hair down today so it framed his structured features.

"That doesn't sound very good," his eyes were lined with concern as he probably took in the stress lines in my brow. "I missed you yesterday. George was very nice but I have this doubt that he wouldn't look as nice wearing your usual black sweater."

I gave a short snort. "I don't wear this every day."

"No, just 3 out of 4 days," he laughed as I actually thought about his statement. George walked out of the back at that moment with several sleeves of cups of various sizes.

"George," I turned to him with a blush slowly creeping up on my face. "Do I wear this sweater every day?"

He stopped walking and fumbled slightly with the cups without dropping one. "Ummm…. I just assumed you had several of the same sweater."

Kurama chuckled and I turned to level him then with narrowed eyes. "Fine, I'll just change things up from now on."

"Oh no, no, don't do that," Kurama shook his head, the green mirth in his eyes twinkled. "I love your sweater." I huffed and looked down at the register. Punching his order in on the touch screen, I didn't even have to ask what he wanted anymore. "Were you sick yesterday? George said you called in."

"Yeah," I nodded and had to force myself to breathe and push yesterday from my mind. "It was a really bad experience. However I did want to talk to you about your roommate situation."

"Oh, excellent," Kurama perked up while digging out his wallet. "Talk away."

"Let me make your drink and we can sit down and talk about it," I told him as I took his card and swiped it.

"Oh this must be a serious conversation," Kurama smirked and put his card away.

"Go sit," I laughed lightly and shooed him away. Turning around, George was already on Kurama's beverage. Luckily the nausea feeling had gone down slightly. Just in case, however, I made myself a small iced ginger tea. "George, are you ok if I take a fiver?"

Shaking his head and shrugging at the same time, he said, "Nope, go for it. I'll just sweep and mop behind the counters. I might even start doing the bakery stuff for tomorrow then."

"Sounds good," I nodded and grabbed my drink before heading over to Kurama. "Oh good, you picked the comfy chairs." I seated myself on the black leather love seat next to Kurama. It was odd; we'd never done anything like this before. It was usually me behind the counter type of interaction.

"Do you have good news?" Kurama sipped his peppermint mocha and looked at me over the beige plastic top of his cup. His right elbow was resting on the arm of the love seat.

"Yes," I nodded and sipped slowly on the straw. Normally, ginger wasn't my favorite flavor but I did know that it was great to have when feeling yucky. He looked over at me expectantly. Taking a calming breath through my nose, I met his gaze with a look as serious as I could muster when I felt the way I did. "I can move in this weekend."

He was quiet for a few moments, searching my expression. I'm sure he thought I was joking at first, but I kept my gaze stern, serious, unwavering. "When you asked the other day, you were referring to yourself?" I nodded. "And you want to move in with me?" I nodded again. "A man you barely know?"

I couldn't help the quirk of my lips. "Well I hope you're a man, but yes I do barely know you." It took a lot of self-control to move my lips back to a serious position and retract the humor from my pink eyes.

That little comment seemed to lighten the mood a little. "I am a man, just take my word for it."

"I will try my best. The long hair is slightly deceiving though," I joked and he shook his head with a little smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"You are distracting me," Kurama told me but I could hear the laughter in his voice. "Back to the point. This is actually not something I had thought about. And after talking to you the other day, I was almost ready for anything. Apparently not, however. I thought about the chances of your friend being a drug addict, a stripper, a jock, a man whore. I really tried to explore the options and see if I could handle anyone you brought to me. But you are another story."

"Why?" I asked tilting my head. "Am I really worse than the things you listed? Given the nicest thing you threw out there was jock and I've never played a sport in my life."

"I'm not saying you're worse," he shook his head and set his coffee down on the low table in front of us. "You aren't. You are just different. Have you thought about the two of us living together?"

"Yes I have. I spent the majority of last night actually thinking it over," I told him. "I know the people you hang out with and even though I haven't always followed my judgment; I am generally very good at reading people."

"Yeah and what do you see in me?" Kurama leveled his face and erased the emotions so that I couldn't read him as clearly. That was a bit unnerving actually.

"Are you serious right now?" I asked raising an eyebrow and his lack of response made it very clear. "Well, I know you are very intelligent which leads me to believe you aren't the type to do drugs-"

"Assumption."

"-And given you listed drug addict as someone you had to way out pros and cons for, I'm pretty set on the 'no drugs' thing." Hitched his chin up slightly at that so I knew I had won that one. "From seeing you every day, I get the impression that you are clean. You wear nicer clothes even though you work over nights. I have never seen your hair greasy and those pants look ironed. If you are willing to iron your pants for overnight, then I'm ready to assume that your apartment is well kept."

"What else?" Kurama asked.

"Honestly," I let my face hint at a playful smile. "All I really needed to know before completely being set in my decision was one thing." I paused for the effect. "If you ever do anything to me, Yusuke will kill you."

That cracked his guard and he gave a quick glimpse of a smile. "Fair enough."

"Do we have a deal?" I asked tilting my head slightly and raised my cup so I could innocently suck on the straw.

He was silent for a moment. Raising his hand to his face, I watched him drag it over his features. Time ticked on as I waited with what little patience I could come up with as I he made up his mind. Shaking his head in what appeared to be defeat, I bit my lip nervously.

"Don't do that," Kurama said and I let it pop free, shocked at his comment. I hadn't realized he'd been watching me out of the corner of his eye. I mumbled some incoherent apology under my breath. He turned to look fully at me then. "Alright." I could see the uncertainty in his eyes but he agreed and right now that's what truly mattered.

A bright smile spread across my face and I hastily set down my clear plastic cup so I could quickly launch myself the foot that separated us. Hugging Kurama, I had my arms around his neck and his hair tickled my nose but I refused to let go yet. "Thank you, Kurama, thank you so much." He awkwardly slid his arms around my waist to lightly hug me back. With gentle hands, he held me for a second before I slowly pushed off at him. My eyes I'm sure were gleaming with tears of joy.

"Botan?" He sat up a little straighter.

"I'm fine," I shook my head slightly. "I should actually get back to work. But really, thank you Kurama. Oh thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"This weekend?" Kurama asked and picked up his drink from the table. I nodded and did the same. "I work Saturday morning until six so when I get off work I might forgo sleep to start preparing for your move. Do you have someone to help you move?"

"I'll call Yusuke tomorrow," I smiled at him before standing up with the ginger tea. "Hey now you can get a ton of free coffee."

He chuckled. "Just what I need. Then I won't have to come here every day to get coffee."

"I didn't say that," I said and stepped around the table. "Oh, before you go let me get you my number." Making my way over to the register, I held the feed button on the receipt machine. I snatched a large furry purple pen from the shopaholic cup by the tip jar. Scribbiling away my number, the feathers jerked back and forth like a metal ball in a pinball machine. "Here you go. Text me sometime with any questions or what not. We'll have to arrange something for me to get keys."

"I'll talk to my landlord tomorrow when I wake up," he nodded and slipped the paper into his pocket.

"Alright," I chirped and awkwardly shifted to my other foot.

"Alright," he nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow for coffee. Good night Botan."

"Good night Kurama," I smiled as he turned and left.


	7. Chapter 7

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke **

**Disclaimer: this might come to a shock to some of you, but I honestly don't own YYH**

**AN: omg I'm already on Chapter 7! Oh boy seems like yesterday I started writing this. Jesse would be so proud of me (He's been pushing me write this for months now) He keeps telling me that I can be a published author someday. Jesse has helped me every step of the way to get my butt writing again (I'm sure at this moment he'd ask if my butt cheeks were actually doing the writing) Thanks Jesse!**

Chapter seven

There were a lot of times when I wanted to rip the sun from the sky and bury it forever so that the rest of the world could feel the same misery as I did. You changed me though, for the better. If not for you and your need for me, so many more people would be hurt. But it's not just my life you've changed for good.

* * *

"Botan, what are you doing?" a booming voice echoed down the hallway behind me. Stilling, I stopped and turned to see a rather large man with a grumpy face. "Here, let me take that for you."

"No," I shook my head with a slight reassuring smile. "I got this one. Go get your own."

"But let the men do the work," he straightened his back like his broad shoulders would change my mind.

"Kuwabara, stop being sexist," I noticed Keiko coming up behind him with a bag of what I assumed was Culvers. "It's her stuff, she can help out too."

He huffed a little before responding, "But –"

"Stop being a macho ginger," I said before he could start.

"Someone's a little cranky today," Kuwabara said with a little whine in his voice. "I'm just trying to help. Jeeze guys."

Shifting my feet for a second, I held out my box to him. "Ok, I'm sorry. Thank you for helping." That brought a smile to his face and he happily took the box and headed the rest of the way down the hall to Kurama and my apartment. It was weird thinking of it like that. My parents weren't too thrilled when I told them I was moving out of their house and in with a boy. Mother wasn't because I was leaving and my father because I was moving in with a boy I barely knew. He even made a comment about what the relatives would think.

Rolling my shoulders, I walked slowly down the hallway with Keiko. "You feeling ok?" She asked me, looking concerned. "You seem a bit off today?"

I shrugged. I mean, do I tell her? A lump grew in my throat as anxiety started to choke me. There was no way that I could yet. I'd have to wait until I knew if that one test was a false positive or not. Monday morning I had an appointment at Planned Parenthood or as we called it at school, 'Un-planned parenthood'. I knew they'd draw blood and run some tests. If what I heard from the girls in the dorms were true, it shouldn't take very long.

"Ok" I could tell she knew something was up, but she wasn't going to push it right now. "Well I got you a grilled cheese." Just the words made my stomach growl, which made Keiko laugh. "Alright, let's go eat while we let the men work."

We approached the apartment and could hear the guys from inside. Pushing the already a jar door open further, Keiko and I stood there in shock. Kurama stood by the balcony with one hand rubbing at his right temple, probably to help with a headache. Yusuke and Kuwabara were shouting at each other over the full size box spring. I sighed slightly.

"Just prop up your end Urameshi," Kuwabara yelled.

"What the hell difference is that going to make? We aren't going up stairs," Yusuke snapped back. "Move your ass to the right so I can slide this through the door."

"It doesn't go any further to the right," Kuwabara defended.

"Hey isn't that the same bed they grabbed for you in St. Cloud?" Keiko turned to me and I raised my eyebrows at her comment.

"How'd you know that?" I asked. Keiko pointed to the mattress top that was standing up against the refrigerator.

"I remember us joking about the giant red stain in the corner," she laughed. "We assumed it was on the corner because she one was murdered on it and they were trying to get rid of the evidence.

That made me laugh, which drew Kurama's attention. He didn't walk over to join us but I did meet his gaze with a quick innocent smile. "The bed is comfy still. Surprising after a couple years, but it feels like a brand new bed. I just had to go get a mattress cover and you forget about the awkward stain."

"I'm really glad your home," she said suddenly. I looked at her, meeting her gaze, it was the color of our Sunrise Roast, a light amber brown.

I stayed silent for a minute looking at her face. "Yeah, me too. I think it was the best decision I've made in a long time."

"Kurama will make sure you're taken care of," she added and I couldn't help the tilt of my head, feeling the blue ponytail sway against my back.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked. "We aren't together. We are barely acquaintances."

"I didn't mean it that way," she defended and moved forward toward the breakfast bar in the kitchen. Setting the bag on the black and grey speckled counter, she turned to look at me, her back now to the men in the room. They were too busy dealing with the box spring still to notice. "I just mean, that he's a great friend. Like you, where if he sees you struggling, he will be there for you." I nodded at her words but didn't say anything. "Ready to eat?" She called over the boys booming voices and miraculously the arguing stopped. Everything went silent for a minute before Yusuke quickly scooted around the bottom of the mattress to punch Kuwabara lightly in the shoulder and headed to his girlfriend's side.

"Let's grab some grub, then try again," Yusuke hitched his chin up when him and Kuwabara made eye contact.


	8. Chapter 8

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: don't own yu yu hakusho**

**AN: sorry guys, shortest chapter yet... **

Chapter eight

I've kept a lot from you, but I thought it might be for the best. I knew some day you would figure things out. Some may call me a fake, and that may be putting things nicely. One thing I want you to know is that my feelings have always been true even when I buttered up the hard stuff.

* * *

Sitting down on the floor of my new bedroom, the plush carpet cushioned my awkward landing. I pulled the nearest Home Depot box toward me until it was nestled between my thighs. The top unfolded and I gazed down at a large variety of random crap. This may take a little while.

A knock sounded from my open door. Turning only my head, I saw Kurama peering at me from the doorjamb. I smiled as a way of saying 'Welcome'. His footsteps were barely noticeable on the carpet while I returned to stare at the items in front of me. The bed dipped at my back as Kurama sat on the corner of my deep purple comforter. "You really got every packed in three days. I'm impressed."

I laughed slightly, "Don't be. Most of this was still in boxes from when I moved back from school."

"St. Cloud, right?"

I nodded at his question. Honestly, I had been scared to unpack at my parents place. There was no way of knowing when I would leave. If my dad was going to kick me out or if I would get fed up with his attitude and just leave. On all accounts, this was probably the best option I could have found.

"You seem to have a decent amount done already though," Kurama let his eyes trail around at my things. By the closet, there were two medium suitcases lying open and empty. "The beds made, clothes are hung up, and you have several things on the bookshelf."

My hand pulled out a stack of pictures from the box in front of me. Setting them down next to my hip, I put my hand back in the box to see what else I could find. "Yeah, I've made a nice dent in things. It helps that some of the boxes I can just store in the back of the closet. I don't think we need two sets of plates and silverware floating around out there. Which reminds me, these are huge closets, Kurama!"

He nodded, looking at the open door that I was talking about. "It wasn't a big appeal to me, but I agree, it is nice to have." I could feel his eyes return to me. It was a weird feeling, knowing that he was watching me. I wasn't quite put off by it, but I wasn't over joyed. Kind of like… a 'c'est la vie' effect. "What's that?"

I had been lost in my thoughts as I aimlessly was pulling things out of the box. Blinking several times to focus my brain to the soft object I was holding, I almost dropped it from the disgust that sprang from my heart. The breath stilled in my lungs until I threw it toward my sky blue garbage can. "An ex-boyfriend's shirt." Kurama didn't speak, but I'm sure by my tone he knew that I had some hostile feelings. He was smart enough to know not to say anything. One sleeve of the red and grey plaid shirt hung over the edge.

The bed dipped momentarily as he pushed himself up to stand. "Alright well I need to get ready for work," Kurama told me. "If you need anything at all, just call me. The nice things of overnight, I can use my phone." I smiled slightly and lifted my head from the opening of my box to look at him.

"I should be ok," I tried to hold my smile for his benefit. "But thank you."

His bangs bounced as he slowly nodded several times. "Usually, I get home around 6:30. I'll try not to wake you when I return."

"Don't worry about," I chuckle lightly. "Even if you do, I'm sure I'll fall right back to sleep."

"Ok," he gave me a reassuring smile. By the look on his face I could tell he was still unsure what to say to me. Turning he walked out the door. I watched him still for a minute before turning back and meeting my gaze. "Have a good night Botan. I think it'll be nice to have you around."

"Good night, Kurama," and the soft smile on my face didn't feel as forced as the one from several minutes ago.


	9. Chapter 9

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: Don't own YYH, but I had a dream that I did the other day**

Chapter nine

In the beginning, there was so much chaos that I barely knew which way was left. But you helped me realize what people in my life were the ones that mattered and which ones would only drag me through the dirt.

* * *

I sat on the corner of my bed looking at the palms of my hands. There were small tremors that came and went and they would shake my hands quite noticeably. With my elbows on my thighs, I tried to not focus too much on my thoughts. Instead my laptop was playing a set of songs that I focused on instead, not that it was helping much. In my head, I could hear the doctor's voice.

She was blonde and probably the age of my mother. I could tell she cared about my situation, but at the time I just didn't want to hear anything, but what I came for. Those answers did come. Her sincere apology rang through my ears like a heavy thunderstorm.

"There are other options," her voice had broken through the barrier around my thoughts. I remember her telling me my options.

Shaking my head, I raised my palms to hold my head. There was no way I could get rid of a child. It was understandable for victims to do so, but I couldn't punish a child for what its father had done. I plan on having this baby and raising it in a loving home. As soon as I can grasp what I am going to do about it.

A knock on my door made me sit up and look over. Kurama leaned in the door way with a tilted head. I almost smiled at the just rolled out of bed vibe he gave off. His navy blue plaid PJ pants and white undershirt were all wrinkled and his hair was a little messed up in spots. "Sorry, did my music wake you?"

"No," he shook his head but I could see that his eyes were searching for something. "I was playing a game in the living room for a while now."

"Oh," I managed.

"In the last hour," Kurama said and took a deep breath before continuing. "I've heard: Story of a girl by Nine Days, Hey there Dahlia by Plain White T's, and The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Next your probably gonna play something by Avril Lavigne or Evanescence."

"They are both on this playlist," I looked at him a bit shocked.

"I figured as much," he nodded. "What is going on? Is this 'Self-Pity Day with the 2K?"

"That rhymes," I mumbled.

"Botan, do you want to get out of here?" Kurama asked with all the seriousness in his voice as if he were the president at a press conference. "We can go get lunch before you go to work."

I bit the inside of my bottom lip thinking about my answer. After meeting his eyes, I knew my answer. "Yeah, ok."

His lips raised in an easy smile. "Let me get dressed and we can go grab something to eat."

* * *

"Hey Koenma," I strolled into the back room with a subway bag in hand. My bangs bumped against the side of my face as I walked.

"Botan," Koenma glanced over momentarily before returning to the computer. I assumed he was doing the milk order.

"I was hoping to talk to you about something," I said, inhaling through my nose. Opening the giant fridge, I place the rest of my sub on the middle shelf.

"You aren't quitting are you?" he asked before clicking a few more times. Is shaggy brown hair gleamed in the light.

"No, nothing like that," I shook my head even though I knew he wasn't looking at me. Glancing around, I found our fold up tan, metal chair. I grabbed it and set the chair up next to Koenma. "But it is important and I don't know if you're going to like it."

Sighing, he finally stopped what he was doing and turned to face me on the office chair. I could tell he was getting a bit peeved. "What is it Botan?" I counted my breaths for a moment with my eyes on the fabric of my jeans. Raising my head to look him in the eyes, I felt scared. "What's wrong?" This time, he looked a lot more serious with concern in his voice.

"I'm pregnant."

There was silence in our backroom; the only noise was the rumble of the refrigerator. "Do your parents know?"

I shook my head. "No, I just thought that as my boss, you should know. Because I've started getting the morning sickness and you need to be prepared for me calling in."

"Is that why you called in last week?" he asked and I shrugged. Normally it was very easy to read Koenma, but right now it seemed almost impossible.

"No, I called in because that was the day I found out and it didn't go over well," I explained to him. "I haven't told anyone else, so if we could keep this between us… it would be most appreciated."

Raising one hand to rub his forehead, he said, "You know I can't tell anyone. But you also know people are going to find out sooner or later, right?" I nodded. "If there's anything I can do, just let me know."

Out of nowhere, the tears started to flow, surprising me as much as it surprised him. "Thank you Koenma!" I hadn't realized how important it was for me to tell someone until this moment.


	10. Chapter 10

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: Don't own YYH**

Chapter ten

There was time in my life where I had to do things I regret, just to survive. I never want you to go through the things I have. While all of it was a learning experience and I agree I am a stronger person because of it, but I wonder if you would love me the same way if you knew what I had done.

* * *

I was starting to get sick of my frenemy, the toilet. If the doctor was close on her calculation, I was almost eight weeks along. Slowly standing up from my knelled position on the floor, I pushed the silver knob on the tank. These side effects were slightly annoying. Shaking my head I stood over the sink and ran some water. My hand cupped some to bring to my mouth. The vomit feeling coated the insides of my cheeks and I swished the lukewarm water around before spitting.

Rolling my shoulders, I pulled open the door to Kurama leaning against the opposite wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest. Stopping nervously, we made eye contact. He had that same look on his face that he'd had at Grounds when he agreed that I could move in. I stood there silently looking at him, waiting for him to speak.

"You need to go to the doctor," Kurama told me and I shook my head. "Seriously, this is the fourth day in the last week I've heard you throwing up. That's a lot of days to be calling in to work."

"I'm using my vacation days this week," I told him and that was actually true. Koenma told me that when the morning sickness started to get worse he'd let my take a paid vacation. It surprised me, but I gladly accepted.

"I doubt you have that much PTO," Kurama leveled me with a stare.

"No, but it's borrowed PTO for the rest of the year." I saw him inch his chin up slightly. His gaze remained unchanging.

"Botan," Kurama said. "I'm serious. I think you really should see a doctor."

"I can tell you're serious." I told him but shook my head. Attempting to move passed him, Kurama pushed off the wall to stand in front of my way. I could feel my heart beat pick up slightly. Deep down, I knew Kurama would never hurt me, but it was making me nervous. "Please move." My voice sounded like a wounded animal even to me.

"Why are you refusing to go to the doctor?" Kurama asked. "Do you have health insurance?"

"Yes I do, but I –" he cut me off.

"I'm worried about your health," Kurama told me as the green in his eyes swirled with concern. "You don't eat very much, and you throw up all the time. After the flu, my next conclusion is bulimia."

"I don't have an eating disorder," I pressed my lips together, trying to control the offended tone in my voice. "I eat small meals, but I do eat frequently throughout the day."

"For me will you please just go to the doctor?" Kurama asked, trying to calm his voice.

"No," I said and I was starting to feel like I shutting down on the inside.

His hands reached out and grabbed both my biceps. In my head, I knew his touch was light and his fingers were barely circling my arms. However, in my heart, all I saw were the dark amber eyes with bad intentions and the finger nails digging into my flesh. Tears welled up in my eyes and a few leaked past my barrier against my will. Even though I knew Kurama would never hurt me, I heard the laughter in my head. I heard _his_ deep chuckle as each fresh tear burned my face.

"Don't touch me," I stepped out of his reach and closed my eyes. My arms wrapped around my middle like a tight straight jacket.

I could hear his hands fall to his side, brushing the fabric of his kakis. "Botan…" by the tone, I knew his face had fallen and his eyes turned s deep longing color.

Shaking my head, I moved by him and quickly walked to my room. I shut and locked my door, sliding down the wood to lean against it. A knock vibrated my back and I knew Kurama was there, just inches away. I had no doubt he was confused and possibly hurt my reaction. Partially, I blamed the pregnancy hormones and the other part was the past with my ex. I knew that in order to move on with my life, I had to get over what he'd done to me.

Another knock came through the door and I leaned my head backwards. "Go away, Kurama."

"Botan," he voice wasn't very loud and I wasn't sure if that was because he wasn't speaking at full volume or if it was the haze clouding my brain. "I'm sorry I pushed you so hard." He paused and maybe he expected me to respond, or maybe he just had to take in a deep breath. "I didn't mean to upset you." A shaky breath entered my lungs. If only he knew that any normal girl wouldn't have responded the way I did. "My mother died last year." When I closed my eyes at his words, I swore under my breath. "She was very ill and the doctors couldn't save her. They told me later that if she had come in sooner that maybe they could have done something to keep her alive." Swallowing the lump in my throat, a few stragglers slipped out of my eyes at his story. His voice was like a sad melody. "I don't want you to end up like my mother."

It was quiet for several minutes before I heard his feet softly pad away.


	11. Chapter 11

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: Don't own YYH, tough shit. a few would change. Like more seasons with some fluff here and there with other characters. Cough, cough**

Chapter eleven

There are a lot of people I wish you could have met that are no longer in our life. People who would have shown you compassion and strength. But there are also those people that I'm forever grateful that you never had the displeasure of meeting.

* * *

It had been a few days since I had seen or talked to Kurama. Even though we had been roommates for two weeks and known each other three weeks, it was still very unsettling to not speak to him. I knew I couldn't let this continue and after a while of sitting against that door, I had accepted that it was my fault. Yes, I knew I had over reacted but I also knew I couldn't control that.

Today, Kurama was home in the living room. By the sounds coming from the TV, I assumed he was playing Call of Duty or something. Steadying my heartbeat with a deep breathing exercise I found online, I opened my bedroom door. Small steps led me to the opening of the living room. Kurama sat on the couch, looking zoned into the television screen. I stood there for a moment watching him. His red hair was pulled into a lazy pony tail at the nape of his neck and his grey sweater was rolled up to his elbows. His sock clad feet were resting easily on the cherry wood coffee table.

I ran my tongue nervously over my lips. Glancing up from the screen, Kurama did a double take at me standing there watching him. Quickly, he sat up while pausing his game. This made me smile lightly. I wasn't used to this type of reaction when I entered a room.

"Botan," Kurama said my name with surprise in his voice.

I glanced down nervously at my hands before looking back up at him. His uncertain expression almost made me chuckle. It appeared that he was as nervous as I was. "I think it's time we talked." Taking several more steps into the room, I decided to sit down on the edge of the leather chair.

"How are you feeling?" Kurama asked and I almost rolled my eyes at his question.

"I'm doing alright," I told him honestly. "A little nausea here and there but over all good."

"I'm glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better," he told me with a minor up turn of his lips.

Moving my thumb over each fingertip, I counted my movements.

One, two, three, four, three, two, one….

It was a technique a doctor once taught me to deal with high levels of anxiety. You focus on the counting as a way of taking a step back from the situation to get a clearer head. In this case, I wasn't completely sure it was working. There was no more avoiding this situation. He was here waiting for me to talk and I was here to gain a confidant.

Inhaling a deep breath through my nose into my lungs until it hit my stomach, I held it for a few seconds before slowly letting it out passed my lips. "I'm sorry for the way I reacted the other day. I was rude and emotional-"

"Botan, you really don't need to apologize," Kurama tried to stop me but my eye lids slid down to close for a moment.

"No, I really believe I do." Shaking my head, blue strands of hair fell over my shoulders. Raising my eyes back up to meet his, I could tell by the darkening color that he wanted to argue but he instead remained silent. "I did in fact go to the doctor the other day. Well, over a week now." I paused as he intertwined his fingers in his lap. My gaze went down to study his hands, loosely clasped over his jean clad knees. "I don't have a better way at coming out with this, other than just being blunt. I'm pregnant."

Like with Koenma, there was a moment of silence and I refused to look at his face. This wasn't a situation I could have ever prepared myself for, no matter how much time I sat in my room thinking of all the things to possibly say. He straightened his shoulders and tilted his head back to count the bumps in the ceiling. The music from his game was the only noise in the apartment. When he suddenly stood up, my eyes blinked wide open. Kurama walked to the sliding door at the back of our apartment. With his back to me, it gave me a moment to really study him.

His hands were splayed wide on the edging of the glass door. It wasn't too hard to assume his back was tensed up under his sweater. Peeking out of his faded blue jeans, his black android was nestled in his back pocket. The blue ponytail stood out against his red hair. My head lowered to watch the tremors in my hands shake once again. Damn, that anxiety is getting out of control.

The shuffling of fabric notified me that Kurama had turned around and was probably watching me now. Closing my eyes again, I wasn't sure what to expect him to say. "How far along are you?"

I swallowed before responding. "Eight and half weeks." Again he was silent as he probably regretted agreeing to me moving in with him.

"Who is all aware of this?" I couldn't tell what the tone in his voice was.

"You and my boss."

"And you are keeping the child?"

"Yes," I nodded and I knew that was probably the most defined answer I'd given him.

I heard him take a deep breath before walking over and sitting back down on the couch. "Were you planning on doing this by yourself or was that why you were so determined to move in with me?"

That got me to look at him with my eyebrows scrunching together. "I didn't move in with you because I was planning on making you my child's father, if that's what you are getting at. I moved in here with you because I knew that this would be a better environment for me and my child than to be at my parent's house."

"So you did know before you moved in with me and neglected to inform me of this?" Kurama leveled me with a gaze and I shook my head, momentarily glancing up at the ceiling.

"I assumed, but I wasn't positive," I told him honestly. "If I told you I could be pregnant, would you have let me move in with you?"

He paused and looked into my eyes as if they could tell him the answer he was looking for. "I'm not sure."

The silence returned as we both looked down at our hands. For a moment, I wasn't sure who would break it first. Then my impatience got the best of me. "Where do we go from here?" Standing up again, Kurama took a deep breath before heading to the front closet. I watched him pull it open and slip his shoes on. "Where are you going?"

"I can't answer your question yet," he sounded lost. "I need to go. I'm sorry, I need time to think about this." With that, he grabbed his black zip up sweatshirt and headed out the door with it still in his hands, only after snatching his keys from the hook.

Shock and regret hit me hard as Kurama's presence filtered away. Grabbing the TV remote from the table I shut off the screen to let the emptiness in the room settle in. I let my back fall against the plush of the chair as I raised my pink eyes search the ceiling for something I couldn't place. My right hand lifted to spread across my still flat stomach. A tight squeeze wracked my throat as I tried to force the negative feelings away. However, that battle was lost and a sob pushed passed my lips. At first there were only single tears that dripped from the corner of my eyes. It wasn't long before a steady stream followed.

My eyes burned once the flow stopped. Who knew how long I had sat in that chair, watching the unmoving white bumps while I cried. Once it was over though, my body felt so drain, I could barely push myself up to stand. Dragging my feet to my bedroom, I nudged the door open and flopped on to the bed I had made this morning. It took mere minutes for my mind to give into the weary muscles and drift off to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke **

**Disclaimer: Don't own YYH**

Chapter twelve

Sometimes I try to imagine what it would have been like if I had stayed with _him_. Then those thoughts turn into a waking nightmare and I am thankful that we were fortunate enough to end up where we did.

* * *

My hand rubbed a tender muscle on my shoulder as I poured an espresso shot for the Red Eye. The headache pounding away at my skull wished to indulge in the coffee and espresso that the customer was getting. Dumping the liquid into the cup, I capped it and handed it to the brunette at the other side of the bar. As I thanked them, the bell on the door ring and Juri greeted the new comer from the register.

I rubbed the back of my hand across my closed eyes. Upon opening them, I saw Kurama standing at the bar counter. My throat refused to speak, so instead I just looked at him like a deer in headlights.

"Hello," he said quietly.

I coughed lightly, trying to clear away the blockage. "Hey."

"You aren't wearing your black sweater," he pointed out and I looked down at my arms with a shrug.

"No, I tried to spice things up a bit," I commented. The lavender long sleeve shirt I was wearing was rolled up to the elbows.

"I like the color," he told me and I thanked him politely. We had a moment of silence before speaking again, "Is there any chance we could talk?"

I glanced over at Juri who looked like she was trying hard to appear like she wasn't listening. "Yeah, let's go to the back room."

"I'm allowed back there?" Kurama asked, raising his eyebrows.

Shaking my head, I started to round the bar. "No, but I think Koenma will understand." I walked through the back door with him close behind me. It was a small area, but we weren't squeezed together. Puffing out my cheeks, I let a breath escape my lungs.

"Can we talk about what happened the other day?" Kurama asked while I leaned against the refrigerator. His hands pushed into his pockets as he looked uncomfortably into my eyes. The lids of my eyes felt droopy. I felt like this was taking so much energy just to look at him.

"You mean when you walked out four days ago?" I asked and couldn't stop the snap in my voice. Whatever, I'm pregnant, he can handle it.

"Three days, buy yes," he said and I bit my lip to stop a snotty remark. I remained silent, waiting for him to continue. "You need to understand that this is a big deal for me-"

"For you? I'm the one pregnant," I snorted.

"I'm not trying to undermine your situation," Kurama spoke softly. "But please try to see it from my point of view. I hadn't expected this in any way. I probably should have."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I could feel myself getting tense and defensive.

"Botan," Kurama lifted one hand as if he was going to place it on my shoulder, but must have decided against it as his hand fell to his side. I'm sure that had something to do with my outburst last week. "I came here today to tell you that I want you to stay with me."

That shut me up completely. For the last few days I had been debating about going to find more moving boxes again. Five moves in one year wasn't pushing it, was it? "You aren't kicking me out?"

"No," he shook his head slowly and I looked skeptically into his eyes. I saw raw compassion. Without thinking, I pushed forward and hugged him tight. His body stiffened momentarily before wrapping his arms around my shoulders. He smelled so good, like the fresh air after a hard rain. Laying my head on his chest, I refused to let go for anything at the moment. Kurama rested his cheek on the top of my head and held me, one hand around the top of my shoulders while the other gently rubbed circles on my lower back.

"What made you choose this?" I asked against the red fabric of his thick red long sleeve. He must be going to work after this.

I felt the breath he took against my cheek. "After I left the other day, I went to visit my mother. At the cemetery, I had time to think about what my mother would do and I know that she would never let me turn my back on someone in need. That's how she raised me." He paused for a moment, as I nuzzled my face a bit more in his shirt, closing my eyes. It felt so nice to be held again. "I can't let you go through this alone. I may barely know you, but I know you enough to realize that you are a wonderful person and would be an amazing mother. If given the right support along the way."

A soft smile coated my lips. "Thank you Kurama."

"You are very welcome Botan."


	13. Chapter 13

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I can only dream that I own YYH. Because I don't.**

Chapter thirteen

I was scared through most of my pregnancy. I felt like I was alone in this, but deep down I knew that I had two very strong people by my side through the whole journey. One, physically in my stomach and the other holding my hand.

* * *

Resting my back against the edge of the couch, I sat on the floor. I was looking at paint samples and a book of names at the same time. Behind me, Kurama had a book in his hand that he was nose deep in. His stereo was playing some classic Wallflowers and Counting Crows while we did our own thing.

"How did your first prenatal visit go yesterday?" Kurama asked, setting his book on his knee. His thumb holding the page he'd left at.

Shrugging, I flipped through the page. "Fine, they went over any medical history that I knew. But I couldn't tell them much. I don't know anything from his side and I can't ask my parents for my family background."

"You still haven't told your mom?" Kurama asked as I felt him tug on a few strands of my hair.

"What are you doing?" I asked while trying, and missing, to swat his hand.

"Nothing."

"I can't tell her," I said and turned the page in my paint sample book.

His hand let go of my hair and reached forward for his cup of tea. "But you have talked to her since you moved in here?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Probably once or twice a week. She keeps trying to get me to come over for dinner. That's not happening." Without thinking, my eyes rolled.

"Why not?" Kurama asked, quietly sipping on the vanilla rooibos tea. I swirled my hands around my stomach while glancing back to raise my eyebrows at him. He chuckled and shook his head before setting his tea back down. "You are only showing if you wear a very tight tank top or t shirt. I think you are safe in…. ninety percent of your clothes."

"Am I showing now?" I asked looking into his green eyes.

Watching him suck in a breath and glance down at my belly, I rested my hands palm down on the carpet. "This is a trap. There is no right answer. I refuse to fall for this."

That made me laugh lightly. "No trap, promise."

"Nope, I'm learning the signs," Kurama shook his head. "Let's go back to you going to your parents for dinner."

That made my smile drop. "I can't. I always leave feeling like shit."

"I can always go with you for support," he volunteered and I felt his hand in my hair again.

"What are you doing?" I tried to move my head, so to drag my hair further away. It didn't work.

"Don't worry about it." His chuckle made my nerves calm down. "Why don't you call your mom tonight and set up dinner on Sunday?"

"But don't you work Sunday?" I asked and looked back to the paint samples. I was flipping through all the different shades of blues at the moment.

"I don't work Sundays anymore," Kurama said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

Turning around enough to face him, I tilted my head slightly to the right. "Did you do that for me?" I asked, putting as much suspicion in my voice as I could.

He chuckled, "there is a rather high probability. Text your mother, Botan. Tell to plan for Sunday dinner with the three of us." Settling back down with my back against the couch again, I grumbled to myself. "How did the rest of your visit go? Besides the medical history."

"They drew a bunch of blood to doing some testing," I told him pointing to my band aid. "Checking my blood type, if I have any STD's or what not. I don't, by the way. I did a pelvic exam, had to get a pap smear. That was so uncomfortable because they took a chunk of my cervix to check for cancer. I should get the results either tomorrow or the next day." I paused to back track through the meeting. "Umm… a urine sample, a culture check. P.s. I didn't know that it was called a culture check when checking for gonorrhea or Chlamydia. I am negative to those too."

"Good to know," Kurama nodded. "Did they go over the options for genetic testing?"

Nodding, I flipped the page to look at the greens. "Yeah I have a couple of screenings coming up. One is in two weeks and the other is next month at my next visit. Honestly, I am only doing the screenings because I know nothing about his medical history."

"That's probably a good idea," Kurama agreed. "When are your next appointments?"

I thought about his question for a moment with my eyes closed. Somehow that let me think more clearly. "My screening is December 30th and my next visit is January 13th."

"Would you like me to go with you to either of those?" Kurama asked and I glanced back at him with a soft smile on my face before looking down again at my books. "You should probably sit up here on a softer surface."

Grumbling slightly, I let him help me slide over the edge of the couch to sit next to him. I leaned forward to grab my books off the floor. "If you don't work, I'd love it if you joined me. It was kind of awkward going by myself."

He rested his arm on the back of the couch, behind me. "Even if I did work, I would be home way before you left. I'm pretty sure I can handle a few days with only a couple hours of sleep."

"If you're sure," I leaned into his side as I spoke.

He pushed forward enough to be able to grab my phone from the table in front of us. "As sure as I am that you are going to text your mother right now."

"Can't we just wait for Christmas?" I grumbled.

"Complaining is beneath you," Kurama looked down at me and I scrunched my nose as a response.

"Not while I'm pregnant," I said and he chuckled.

"That can't be your response for everything," he shook his head and handed me my phone.

"Oh," I shook my finger momentarily. Then I unlocked my phone and pulled up my conversation with my mom. Typing a few lines, I sent her a message. "But it really can. And done. We now have dinner plans this Sunday with my parents. Hope you are prepared for this."


	14. Chapter 14

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke **

**Disclaimer: If I owned YYH… imagine the other things I would own too. Like my own car or a house. Or a litter box that cleans itself. Oh that would be nice.**

Chapter fourteen

I had to deal with a lot of change in a short period of time. Some things I expected like my diet, sleeping habits, and even my body image. But there were things I had not expected to change, like the relationships of the people I had come to know and those I had known most of my life.

* * *

"Kurama?" I called from the kitchen. Given it was a little after noon, I knew he was home and should be getting up any minute. I decided to take my chances and just call out to him.

"Yes?" I guess I woke him up.

"You did the grocery shopping last night, right?" I asked

"Yes." His bed squeaked and I heard a small thud before he appeared in the hallway. In order to hold back my giggle at his appearance I bit my lip, but I knew there was no stopping the smile.

"You look adorable," I told him and met him at the hall entrance. Reaching up, I smoothed out the strands of hair poking up.

"I have no doubt that that is not a true statement." He blinked a few times trying to erase the grogginess from his eyes. "What did you want to know about the groceries, Botan?"

Taking a step back, I decided to lean my back against the granite breakfast bar, rest my elbows at either side of my hips on the edge. "No gushers?"

Lowering his head momentarily, I could see him almost laugh to himself. "No gushers. I bought you some snacks that you should be eating right now. Healthy snacks. Also, I knew you had cut caffeine out right away, which is amazing. But I bought you some apple juice and a container of V8."

"You're killing me," my jaw was slightly ajar. "I don't drink v8. I can't even drink tomato juice in a bloody mary."

"I'm sorry Botan," Kurama didn't look sorry to me. "Dried fruit is going to be a great snack. Also, I got you some cheese and crackers. You like the ones with the white cheese."

"Yeah…"

"Don't be upset," Kurama took a step forward and held out one hand to me. He started doing this about a week after our big fight. It was like the whole 90/10 thing. Almost as if it was his way of asking permission to touch me. Really, it was nice knowing he let me take control.

Grabbing his hand, he pulled me to him and I let Kurama wrap his arms around my shoulder. "It's going to be good for your body and your baby."

"My boobs hurt," I mumbled.

He pulled back suddenly. "Excuse me?"

I almost laughed at the shocked expression on his face. "Sorry. They are extremely sore and even though that wasn't a crazy, sweep me off my feet hug, it was still too tight right now."

"Don't apologize," he loosened his hold putting more distance between us, while still hugging me. "You apologize for everything, do you realize that?"

I was silent for a moment while thinking about his comment. "I suppose I do. But it's been kinda burned into me by now that everything is my fault."

"I guess that is just something we will need to work on," he told me like it was no big deal. I smiled at his positive attitude.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Not really," he admitted. "I was on the edge of consciousness anyways."

"Good," I said and stepped out of arms. "Now, you should get me one of the snacks you bought for me."

"Really? Should _I_ get you a snack?" His eyebrows rose in a challenge.

Giggling, I said, "Yes, please."

He shook his head and walked around the bar to open a cabinet and pulled a green box down. From there he handed me a pack of six cracker and cheese sandwiches. "Just remember, you are supposed to be a grazer now. So no giant meals while you are at work."

"Are you calling me a cow?" I asked slightly raising my voice.

"What? I said no such thing," Kurama his eyes became defensive at my tone. "It's to keep your blood sugar up and stop you from fainting or feeling dizzy." I kept silent at his words. "I swear I would never call you a cow."

I looked at him skeptically for a moment. "Fine, I believe you. I need to get ready for work, though."

"I'll pack a bag for you to take some food to work."

"Thanks Kurama," I told him, meeting his eyes with a smile. "I appreciate it. Really I do. Even if you called me a cow."

I turned to head to my room as he called after me, "I didn't call you a cow."

* * *

"Botan!" I turned my head enough to notice Keiko walking in the door. The bell chiming as she strode through the door.

"Keiko," I greeted her back.

"Oh hey George," Keiko waved at the man.

"A pleasure as always, Keiko," George smiled and turned to grind some more coffee beans.

Bringing myself back toward my task, I emptied the container of espresso grounds. I tapped it on the edge of the garbage can before sliding it back into the machine. "You totally bypassed George for your dark roast." She placed her hands on her hips and when I looked at her, her mouth was a straight line and her eyebrows were raised. This was a challenge, but I didn't know what it was for. "What did I do?"

"Two things actually," Keiko nodded to herself. "One, I haven't talked to you in over two weeks. What is up with that? And two! I ran into your mom at the grocery store…"

"Oh," I knew where this was going.

"Yeah, you forget to call me and tell me you were having dinner with your parents AND Kurama?" Keiko all but shouted. Luckily there were only a couple people in here at eight o'clock at night. "This is a new development."

"Keiko, please," I tried to have her lower her voice. "I was going to call you, but I've been very busy. A lot has been on my mind."

"Fine, you don't want to talk about it at work," Keiko said and dropped her hands to her sides. "But I don't want you to cut me out again. So tomorrow we are meeting up for lunch, and you are going to spill the beans."

I licked my lips slowly as I thought about my answer. "I'm not cutting you out."

"Tomorrow, lunch. Perkins?" Keiko said. Her eyes were abnormally dark right now.

"Let's not do Perkins," I mentally went through their menu in my head. Everything was so salty. "How about Applebees?"

"That works," Keiko nodded. "Noon, don't be late Botan."

"I will be there," I tried to give her a reassuring smile, but her face remained unchanging. She was slightly mad at me.

"Can I have a dark roast, George?" Keiko called over before leveling me with a serious stare and walking to the register.


	15. Chapter 15

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: Don't own YYH**

**AN: It's my birthday! So as a birthday present to myself, I am going to update a chapter for you guys. (Because three yesterday wasn't quite enough I guess)**

Chapter fifteen

The further along in the pregnancy I got, the more people I wanted to tell. It started to just feel wrong to be keeping this a secret. I shouldn't feel ashamed, even if there was no man in the picture. A lot of successful families have only one parent.

* * *

"I have to admit," Keiko told me after we had sat down. "I definitely thought you were going to cancel on me."

"Nope," I smiled at her. "I made sure not to be late, even."

That got a small giggle from her. Keiko looked at me a sparkle in her eyes. "Okay, so tell me what is going on? I feel like after we moved you in… things escalated."

"Well…." I played with my fingers, watching my forefingers leisurely battled each other.

"Oh my god," Keiko said after I took too long to respond. "You guys are hooking up, aren't you?"

"No, no, no," I shook my head, placing my hands on the edge of the table. "Nothing like that. I mean we aren't 'hooking up'."

"Ok, Botan," Keiko rolled her brown eyes. "Then what is it? Will you just tell me? Come on, you are taking him to meet the parents."

"Yeah he is coming with me," I confirmed. "But he's going only as moral support."

"Is that what they are calling it nowadays?" she laughed and I couldn't help the snicker.

"No," I said. "He really is just going to help me deal with being around my dad."

"Hello girls," we turned to see a waitress standing in front of our table. "What can I get you girls to drink?"

"I would love a raspberry long island, right now," Keiko smiled and handed the woman her ID.

"How about you, hun?" she asked after handing Keiko back the card.

"Just a lemon water please," I told her.

"Alright, I'll go get those for you two." She walked away and I turned to Keiko. The girl in front of me was giving me a weird look.

"No drink?"

"Nah," I shrugged.

"Alright," Keiko eyed me for a moment, before shaking her brown locks. "So anyways, is Kurama still visiting you every day?"

I knew that the longer I sat here, the harder it would be not to tell Keiko what was really going on. Honestly, I was shocked she hadn't figured it out by now. "Umm, probably four out of five days tops."

"And you are sure you guys aren't together?"

I sighed. "I don't know, Keiko. The question hasn't ever come up. Some days I really want to be with him and then other days I know he deserves better than me. I am so damaged. You guys don't even understand the half of it."

"Must I remind you of who I am with?" Keiko smile reassuringly.

"You're right," I shook my though as I talked. "But still. Kurama is … wonderful. I don't know why he's even around me half the time. He told me once that his mom raised him that way."

"I get the feeling that I'm missing part of that story," Keiko narrowed her eyes in suspicion for a moment. "But she was a wonderful woman."

"Did you meet his mom?" I asked. At that moment our waitress came back to drop off our drinks.

"I'll be right back to take your order." With that she left again.

"I did once," Keiko nodded, looking down at the pink drink. "Right before she went to the hospital. A really sweet woman. Very polite, amazing with people. I liked her and I know Kurama looked up to her. His dad died when he was a kid so his mom raised him."

"What was her name?" I asked quietly.

"Shiori," Keiko told me and the waitress came back.

"Alright girls!" she all but chirped. "What can I get for you?" Keiko ordered one of the lunch burgers and I was seriously salivating at the thought of it. The doctor said that was normal, the extra saliva. When I told her all I wanted was a chicken Caesar salad, I knew Keiko was going to question that as well. The waitress left again to put our order in.

"Seriously? A salad?" Keiko asked. "Is Kurama making you go on a diet? I will have to call him immediately and complain."

"No!" I almost lunged across the table to grab her bag.

"Woo," Keiko gave me a weird look. "Please explain what is going on? I'm not an idiot. I know when something is up. Yusuke has taught me well, unknowingly, over the last fifteen years."

"Keiko…" I had to force myself to look at her face. "I can't…tell you."

"Is …_he_… back?" Keiko practically whispered.

"No, that's not it," I exhaled a deep breath.

"Good, because I might have had to figure out how to buy a gun," Keiko made me laugh at that. "And I really don't think very many people would be ok with that."

"I'm pretty sure a lot of people would run for the hills the day you buy a gun," I told her.

"Probably," Keiko shrugged before looking at me with a serious expression. "I can tell you're scared, but it is me. I am not going to use anything against you. I'm not going to through it back in your face. I am your friend and I want… need to help you. Botan, you have been there for me when Yusuke went missing, hit by a car, went into basic training. How could I not be there when you need me?"

"Keiko," I closed my eyes for a moment. "It's hard for me to say it. It's like my throat closes up trying to block the words."

"Please try," Keiko took a sip of her drink. My eyes followed the frosted glass until it returned to the table.

"I…" I took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" Keiko leaned backwards, making her back flush with the padded seat. "You are…. pregnant?"

My eyes slid to the surface of the table. "Yes, I am."

"Is it … Kurama's?" It sounded like there was a little bit of hope in her voice until I shook my head. "Oh my god, Botan. How long have you known?"

"I found out a few days before you guys moved me in," I explained. "But I was hoping it was a false positive. It's not, by the way."

"Does Kurama know?" she asked and leaned forward again, this time grabbing my hands.

"Yeah, he found out a week and a half… maybe two weeks ago," I shrugged and let her squeeze my hands. "I thought he was going to kick me out, Keiko. I was so scared."

"He would never!" She said, but it seemed as if she were referring to what would happen if he did with her tone. "That explains the water and salad. How far along are you then?"

"I am about ten weeks," I told her and it was so much easier to talk, now that she knew. "I'm planning on keeping it from my parents for as long as I can. Which is partially why Kurama is coming."

"So…. Is Kurama taking the place of the dad?" Keiko raised her eyebrows but narrowed her eyes. It looked like she was as confused as I was.

"No," I said. "I wasn't kidding, I don't know what's going on between us. He is over the top helpful. Making sure I eat the right foods, at the right time, he holds my hair when I puke. He's reading baby books with me, Keiko."

"So, why is this a 'no'?" Keiko asked.

"Foods up!" Our waitress returned with our lunch before leaving again.

Unrolling my silverware, I sighed. "I think it's my fault. I am very damaged from St Cloud and I think that puts a big barrier between us. He's questioning what he can do around me without me having a panic attack. But he also seems pretty relaxed about that stuff. I don't know. We seem to have fallen into a pattern, it's very cozy but I'm not sure where that leaves us."

"You guys seriously need to sit down and talk about this," Keiko picked up her burger and bit down. I watched her eat for a moment before picking up my fork. I was really happy that my morning sickness was almost gone or this would be very difficult to eat. "I want to know everything, by the way. And! And can I throw you a baby shower?" Shaking my head as I laughed, I leaned forward to eat my food before telling her a little bit more about the last few weeks.


	16. Chapter 16

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: Don't own YYH or Target for that matter**

**AN: Sorry, there is probably gonna be a lot more dialogue than normal in this chapter. Less description, because this is the dinner and the conversation is more important. Introducing the parents. They'll show up periodically **

Chapter sixteen

My childhood set me up for success for a lot of things. If not most importantly, what a good relationship is supposed to be like, it also showed me most days what a bad parent is like. Through my pregnancy I thought a lot about the do's and don'ts and I realized that the don'ts were so engraved in my mind that I knew this child would have such a better childhood then I could have even dreamt of.

* * *

"Stop fidgeting," Kurama scolded me as we got out of the car. "Everything is going to be just fine." I looked at him in his nice white button down and kakis. How is it he makes anything look amazing?

"You're just saying that because you don't know what to expect," I rolled my eyes and tugged lightly on the hem of my grey crocheted sweater. "Maybe I should have worn a different top. This one I think shows too much."

"No," Kurama met me at the front of the car. "You look beautiful. Your sweater looks great. No one will know what's going on unless you tell them."

"We aren't telling them." I almost stopped dead in my tracks at the implied meaning of his comment.

"Then no ones the wiser," he shrugged and took a hold of my hand as we walked up the cement path to their house. When we got to their door, I didn't even stop to knock. Stepping inside, I could smell the aroma of the spaghetti cooking. It was one of my favorites. I hope they aren't trying to bribe me or something.

"Botan?" my mother called from the living room.

"Hey ma," I let go of his hand to kick off my black boots as Kurama did the same with his shoes. We both made our way into the living room. Growing up I used to call this the brown room because everything was a shade of brown. The walls were a beige color and the leather couches were a deep coffee brown. Even the desk in the corner, as well as the low table, were a hard ebony. The carpet also looked like it would be considered the color of brown sugar. Some days I think they had too much fun decorating this room.

"I'm so glad you could make it!" My mother excitedly ran over and gave me a hug before examining the red headed man next me. I had asked Kurama to leave his hair down because I knew the pony tail would somehow be worse for my father. "You must be Kurama. It is so wonderful to finally meet you."

"Thank you so much for inviting me," Kurama gave her a warm smile and I could tell by mom's facial expression that he'd won her over. Well that's the easy part.

"We didn't invite you over," my dad entered the room. He was my height with dark hair, balding in the back. "Botan insisted that you come with."

Kurama didn't miss a beat, however, "Either way, sir, I am very grateful for you letting me join tonight."

"He's so polite," my mother whispered to and I tried not to laugh. "Come on, everyone, let's go sit down and have a drink before dinner."

Following my parents into the brown room, Kurama and I sat together on the couch while my dad took up the leather chair next to Kurama and my mom sat next to me on a fancy wooden recliner. "How is the living situation going?" my dad asked and I knew he was fishing.

"Good," I nodded. Short, simple, and to the point was my way of getting through conversations with him.

"Expenses are being paid for?" he asked and I forced myself not to sigh in frustration.

"Yes," I nodded. "Koenma has me working full time so I'm not too worried."

"That's awesome honey," my mother smiled at me.

"You should make everyone a drink," my dad said to her and she quickly stood up and headed to the adjoining kitchen. "What do you do for a living Kurama?" he asked and almost let my eyes roll. This was definitely an interrogation.

"Honey," my mom called to me and I looked to see her in the entryway. "What would you guys like to drink?"

"Kurama, do you want a beer or something?" I leaned over before he answered my dad's question.

"Hmm?" he gave me a weird look. I knew he didn't anymore. He had stopped drinking alcohol to make it easier for me. It's nicer when you have someone quitting with you.

"I'll have a water mom," I told her.

"Water?" my dad asked and acted like I'd slapped him in the face. I knew the two of them couldn't go more than a few hours without a drink; it was something I'd never agreed with.

"Yes, water."

"Would you like ice with that?" my mother asked. She still had a smile on her face. I'm sure it was because I hadn't run out the door pissed off yet.

"No thanks," I tried giving her a warm smile.

"Don't get her water," my dad chided me. "We have Mikes, drink one of those."

"She can't, because she's driving," Kurama told them. "But I'll have one of those Mikes." My dad didn't say anything to that surprisingly. And I felt my muscles relax slightly at this small victory. Kurama took one for the team, so proud of him right now.

"You were about to tell me where you work," my dad reminded him as my mom came back with my water and Kurama's drink.

"I'll just freshen this up," my mom grabbed the large blue Las Vegas glass she and my dad shared. Turning around, she headed back into the kitchen. I leaned my back against the plush brown leather. It had a little more padding than Kurama's couch.

"I actually work for Target," Kurama told him.

"That's a good company, lots of room for growth," he nodded. "What do you do there?"

"I work overnights in the produce section," Kurama said. "I'm one of their overnight managers. They are actually trying to get me to be one of the lead overnighters."

"I didn't know that," I looked at him with a little shock on my face.

"They told me this morning that I should apply," he smiled at me from over his shoulder. Kurama was leaning forward as he talked to my dad. I watched him pick up the black cherry bottle and take a sip. Taking a deep breath, I imaged what it would taste like. But quickly I sat up straight and glanced around my parent's living room momentarily.

"That should be a nice pay increase," my dad told him. "Don't you need to have a degree for that position?"

So subtle, dad…

"Yes, but any degree," Kurama explained. "I have two degrees, in business and finance. Eventually, I want to work on doing the books for a company. Maybe not one as large as Target."

"Stay with Target," my dad told him. "It's a great company."

"Dinner is ready, guys," my mom called and we all stood up slowly and made our way into the kitchen.

I stopped Kurama before we entered with my hand flat on his chest. "I so owe you for tonight."

He chuckled lightly. "I've handled worse," he whispered before smiling down at me and wrapping his free hand around the one on his chest. "Let's go eat."

Turning around, we entered the kitchen. Kurama dropped my hand as we set our drinks on the table. He followed me to where we dished up and my mom handed us both plates. From there, she put noodles on our plates with sauce. "How about a little more?" she asked me and I shook my head.

"This is plenty mom, thank you," I smiled at her before heading to the table where my dad was already sitting with his food. Begrudgingly I sat next to him. Not that any of the other two seats were better. Soon Kurama sat down on the other side of me.

"I see Kurama is putting you on a diet," my dad eyed my half empty plate. "It's about time someone did. It looks like you've gained quite a bit of weight since I last saw you. Have you started exercising too?"

"Not really," I told him, my voice a bit quiet.

"You should," my dad said before taking a big bite of pasta.

"I don't think you need to," Kurama told me.

"No, she does," he said after swallowing. That time I couldn't help the sigh leave my mouth.

"Would you stop," my mom sat down at the table, looking sternly at my dad. He raised his eyebrows at her, calling her bluff and she looked down at her plate.

The night dragged on like this for a few more hours before Kurama politely gave up and said that we should get going.

"Thank you so much for coming," my mother looked at the two of us with an apology clearly in her eyes. "I'll call you tomorrow, ok Botan?"

"Sounds good ma," I gave her a hug. "It was nice to see you again, dad." But I didn't move to give him a hug. Instead I bent to put on my boots. Kurama slipped his shoes on and gave my dad a sturdy hand shake and my mother a hug.

The ride home was eerily silent but at the same time, I was perfectly alright with not speaking. Even when we got home, the two of us barely spoke. Instead, we went our separate ways and off to bed. Dealing with my dad always drained me out. Not to mention I was already exhausted from being pregnant. I'm sure we'd talk about this tomorrow when both of us will able to process things more clearly.


	17. Chapter 17

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive **

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: No YYH**

**AN: I don't know guys; do I have to go on an updating freeze? I barely get one review per chapter. What's up with that? I know that I get around 60 hits per chapter and none of you can review? How do I know if I'm doing anything wrong or you like certain things or want certain people to come back? Please review. I'm feeling kind of lost without your guys inputs. **

Chapter seventeen

I had fallen into a routine that I was way too comfortable with. By the time the second trimester was over, I knew that it would just get more difficult with every day. What I didn't know, was what to expect from the people I hadn't told about my pregnancy.

* * *

I looked down at my raisin brand serial Monday morning. Well, it was morning for me, it was actually around noon. Setting the metal spoon on my tongue, I listened to the quiet apartment. The spoon returned to the bowl while I slowly chewed the bran flakes. From my seat, I could see the snow falling onto our balcony.

I had gotten half the bowl down before the morning sickness slithered around my stomach. Nodding to myself, I softly placed the spoon in the bowl before pushing it a few inches to the left. Then, I placed my elbows on the granite and rested my head in my hands. My eyes were shut as I focused on deep breathing. Anything to calm down my heart beat in hopes of not throwing up today.

The bedframe squeaked in Kurama's room and I knew he was getting out of bed. After a few minutes, he appeared in the hall, approaching the kitchen. "Good morning, Botan," he greeted before grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. "Not feeling so well this morning?" I almost jumped when I felt his palm rub a small circle on the middle of my back.

"Not really," I grumbled. I missed eating whatever I wanted.

"Only a few more weeks," he said and I imagined him having a tiny half smile meant to make me feel better. "Today marks eleven weeks, right?"

"Thankfully," I took a deep breath when he stopped rubbing. Hearing the click, click, snap of the plastic, I knew he opened his bottle to take a drink. Lifting my head to look over at him, Kurama pulled out a stool on the opposite side of the counter.

"Why did you move the stool over there?" He asked, grabbing my bowl and picking up the spoon.

Shrugging and laying my arms straight in front of me, I could feel the cold counter slowly working its magic on my overheated body. I said, "I wanted to watch the snow."

He glanced behind him momentarily and then back at the bowl. Eating a spoonful, Kurama commented, "Right in time for Christmas."

"Can we not celebrate?" I asked, grimacing. "Please?"

Blinking a couple of time, Kurama raised his eyebrows at me in question as he placed another spoonful in his mouth. "No Christmas? Ok Scrooge. Christmas is only two days away." Then he shook his head at his own joke. "Why not?"

"I've just never had a great experience with Christmas," I said quietly, not meeting him in the eyes. "My parents always went above and beyond for gifts. But then the rest of the year we were always struggling for money. It's not worth it. I'd rather not celebrate and remain happy all year round than feel like I live in toy store with an angry Santa the rest of the year."

"Has your dad always been like that?" Kurama asked seriously and I had a feeling it wasn't about Christmas anymore.

I licked my lips nervously. "No. He was worse. My mom said he got sick right after I was born and he just never got better."

"What do you mean worse?" Kurama set the spoon down to watch my facial expression.

I took a moment to think about how to word my comments. As much as I hated my father, he was still my dad and there will always be a part of me that loves him no matter what he were to say or do to me. "He grew up in a strict household and he took some of that with him when he had a family. He's very traditional."

"Botan, stop being cryptic and just tell me," Kurama told me sternly.

Swallowing, "The way I look at my dad is complicated. He never sexually assaulted me and I know he only has the best intentions. But most days, I don't think he knows how to actually, properly, carry out those intentions. I mean, you met him. He's rude, mean, and has what I've always called a 'God Complex.'"

"I could definitely feel the man of the house vibe, very clearly," Kurama nodded but continued to watch me.

"There was a time when I was younger that he used to hit me," I told Kurama and out of the corner of my eye I saw him straighten up. "I forgot to call him 'Sir' after he told me to clean something, I didn't eat the crust on my French toast, or I didn't pass my spelling test. Sometimes I probably deserved it-"

"Nobody ever deserves that."

"When I accidently stepped in his fresh cement slab, or the time I lost the dog, or I tried to run away," I tried to shrug it off like this conversation didn't affect me. Even though, I had no doubt Kurama could see right through that BS.

"I think you trying to run away would be a clear sign to anyone that there is something wrong," Kurama said and I could hear the anger in his voice.

"He once hit me in the head with a rolled up magazine because I wasn't walking fast enough after he told me to do something," I shook my head at the memory. "Like I was a dog. I remember he hit me hard enough for it to really hurt and my eyes tearing up."

I heard Kurama take a deep breath but I let my eyes focus on my fingers.

"That all stopped when I was in eighth grade though," I told him with a little bit of a littler tone. "I couldn't tell you what the question he asked me was, but I remember my answer. I asked him that I wanted the hitting to stop. It caused a big episode. He refused to talk to me for days."

"Did it stop?" Kurama asked, the serious tone taking hold of his voice box.

"Yes, yes it did," I nodded, but the pause in my voice and the ajar slit in my mouth made his eyebrows rise.

"But?"

"But he because more vocal about things," I told him, pressing my lips tightly together. "That's when he focused on verbal insults."

"You mean, like calling you fat?" Kurama asked and I nodded. "This would make more sense then. That's why he felt it was ok to tell me I had permission to just slap you around a bit to keep you in line if I felt like you weren't behaving."

"Yeah, he says that…" I shook my head and sighed. "But that's how he was raised. If someone in his family didn't do as they were told, they would get the belt."

"Did you?" Kurama asked.

"Only once from my dad, but that was different," I tried to explain. "It wasn't severe and he didn't try to hurt me. It was kind of a 'You're lucky I don't do this to you' thing. Really that was nothing compared to other things."

"Why are you defending him?" Kurama asked and I stopped to process what he was asking.

"Because he's my dad," I shrugged. "I don't think he even realizes half of what he'd done. Everything he did, he did because he wanted to make me a better person. It wasn't to give him pleasure. He wasn't one of those parents who got off on that crap and I know this for a fact. Sometimes I think it hurt him as much as it hurt me, he just doesn't know how to change who he is."

"I don't agree with any of this, Botan," Kurama let out a deep breath and grabbed my hands. "I am so sorry you had to grow up that way."

"Like I said, things have gotten better," I told him. "Since I left home, he actually seems like he wants to see me every once in a while. As long as I don't live with him, that is." I rolled my eyes at the thought of those two months that I lived with him recently. "I joked with my mom that he is starting to realize that no one is going to show up to his funeral and he doesn't want that."

"I can imagine."

"Please don't hate my father for what he's done in his past," I finally looked into Kurama's eyes and I could see the conflict there. There was no doubt that my unshed tears where turning my eyes bloodshot. "I don't and if I'm gonna have this baby; my parents will probably be part of that life. It's taken me many years to get over my childhood, but I am now. It was just something that made me grow into a stronger woman."

"You are an amazing person," Kurama exhaled and stood up from his seat. He took several steps around the bar to draw me from my seat into a hug.

"Not so tight, my boobs still hurt," I whispered into his chest. He smiled into my hair and loosened his grip.

"Botan, you will be a fantastic mother." Kurama told me and I couldn't stop the tears from sliding down my cheeks and embedding themselves in the fabric of his black cotton shirt.

**AN: Please review**


	18. Chapter 18

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke **

**Disclaimer: My husband told me if I get rich I could maybe own YYH someday. I think he's full of it. But all in all I don't own YYH**

**AN: I kinda disappointed in you guys. I ask for more reviews and so NO ONE reviews. Hmm, I don't think that was sending a good message to me. Do you guys really want me to continue this story or not? If you guys don't like it, please speak up. Or if you want me to continue, say so. Please review. That's why I am even posting this story to being with, to get feed back.**

Chapter eighteen

I've never been a fan of holidays. Surprises were not something I had ever enjoyed. That year I was the one giving the biggest gift and I hadn't even known it.

* * *

"Thank you for driving," I told Kurama as he parked the car outside my parent's house. "We haven't even gotten there and I'm feeling exhausted."

"I don't mind driving in snow," Kurama pocketed the keys with a content smile on his face. "Shall we go in?"

Shaking my head, letting the ringlets bounce around my head. "I don't think I have much of a choice, do I?"

He pretended to think about his answer. "Not on Christmas. Come on." His laugh followed him out of the car as I unbuckled my seat belt. Before I knew it, Kurama was at my door, opening it, and holding his hand down to help me up. "Who's all going to be here?"

"Umm, my grandparents and my aunt will be here with her two kids," I explained as he continued to hold my hand. We approached the door and walked right in, like last time. Letting go of his hand, I slipped my boots off as Kurama toed his shoes into the corner.

"Botan, Kurama," my mother appeared from the brown room and gave each of us a hug. "Merry Christmas, I'm so glad you guys could make it!"

"Merry Christmas mamma," I smiled at her.

"Thank you for having us," Kurama told her and extended his hand that held several bags. "What would you like me to do with these?"

"Oh, dear," my mother gushed. "I'll just take those." Snatching the bags from his hand, my mother disappeared into the other room. We slowly followed into the room where my father was talking to my eldest cousin on the couch while my mother had found herself next to my aunt, still holding the bags we'd brought.

"Hello Botan," I looked down to see my little cousin looking at me with a small pleased smile on her face. The lavender blue shine to her hair brought out the deep grey in her eyes. I knew that when she got older, Sayaka would be a heartbreaker. "It's good to see you again." Bending down, I gave her a tight hug.

"You as well," I smiled at her when I pulled back. Running my hand over the back of her head tenderly. "You have to be almost in middle school now, right?"

"Yes, this year I'm in sixth grade," she nodded and I could see the intelligence behind her eyes. I've always known that she was way too smart for her young age. Glancing around, my older cousin met eyes while engaging with my dad. He gave me a fleeting smile which I returned. Sayaka's intelligence ran in the family though.

"Oh," I gasped. "I'm so sorry." I turned to place a hand on Kurama's shoulder, looking down at Sayaka. "Kurama this is my cousin Sayaka. Sayaka this is my friend Kurama."

"It's very nice to meet you Sayaka," Kurama told her. His features were calm and he gave off the vibe that he was relaxed and content.

"The sentiment is mutual," Sayaka looked at him and I knew she was evaluating the man next to me. After a moment a bright smile shined on her face and she turned, the skirt of the purple dress twirling at her knees, to head toward the couch. Once there she sat next to her older brother.

Before we could move, however, my aunt walked up to us with a bright smile on her face. "It's great to see you Botan. And this must be Kurama!" She gave each of us a hug. "I'm Botan's Aumi. It's great to finally meet you. Botan's mother, my sister, won't stop talking about you." She laughed lightly. "So Botan, are you two officially dating?"

I felt my mouth sag a little bit. "Uhh…" I didn't know how to answer that question. Were we together like that? We hadn't talked about it yet.

"We are just friends," Kurama rested a hand on the small of my back. My hand got cloudy at his mixed messages. But what was worse was the weight on my heart. I don't understand why it upset me so much to hear those words. It really shouldn't, I had just gotten out of a bad relationship a few months back and really shouldn't think about dating again. However, the time I've spent with him made me feel like this was a real connection. Somewhere along the line I misread the signs and now I had to deal with those consequences.

"Oh," she blinked a few times. "Well, I'm glad you could join us today. It's going to be a lot of fun."

"Thank you, I'm glad Botan's parents let me contribute," he told her before the three of us slowly made our way into the cluster of people.

"Before you sit down, Botan," I looked over at my cousin standing up and scooting around Sayaka's knees. "I need to give you a hug, cousin."

"It's so good to see you Touya," I smiled into his shoulder, but unlike earlier, this one was forced.

"Botan?" he leaned back and gave me a weird look. Raising my eyebrows at his expression, he placed a hand on my stomach. I wasn't super noticeable yet, but there had been a slight development. A firm bump had appeared last week at my abdomen. At work I had passed it off as gaining weight now that I wasn't living on college food or bloating from my period. Somehow I should've foreseen Touya, a student at med school, noticing my protruding bump, even through my loose top. "Why didn't you tell us you were pregnant?"

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit….

My brain started spinning at a thousand miles an hour. The room went completely silent. I had no doubt that my mother from the kitchen doorway could hear my heart thudding uncontrollably. Even my father stared at me when his drink halfway to his lips. There was no doubt my mouth was dropped far enough to almost touch the floor.

"You're what?" My dad was the first to say something and his voice was surprisingly quiet.

"I need a drink," my mother turned and left the room. From the brown room, I could hear the fridge slam shut after she'd grabbed a pop and the liquor cabinet door almost splinter.

"Merry Christmas?" my voice felt hoarse as I pushed the words through the barrier in my throat.

**AN: I need at least five reviews to post the next chapter. How bad do you guys want it? It's already written.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: Don't own YYH**

**AN: I honestly was going to wait to update until I got the 5 reviews. I received three thus far. One in particular was so extraordinary that I felt I should update just for that person. Thank you Vanessia for your review. I appreciate it on so many levels that I can't even begin to explain. So this next chapter is for you. Enjoy it. **

Chapter nineteen

If you had told me when I was a teenager that one day, my father would be a different man; I might have punched you in the face for getting my hopes up. Now that I am seeing it for myself, I can hardly believe that he was the man he used to be.

* * *

I sat on at the dinner table with my mother and father while Kurama kept my relatives company in the other room. Tremors stretched through my hands. My eyes watching them shake as the nervousness spread. No one talked for a while. Mamma stared at her untouched drink in front of her, watching the bubbles rise through the ice cubes. Breathing deep, my dad looked like he was fighting a battle in his head.

"Is it Kurama's child?" my dad asked, his eyes shooting to the opening of the browning room.

Shaking my head, I said, "No, the father was from St Cloud."

"That boy you dated before moving home?" he asked lowly. I nodded.

My mom's breath hitched. "How far along are you?"

"Twelve weeks," I refused to look up while we talked.

"Botan," my mom scolded me. "Why didn't you tell us?" her voice was full of concern. I wasn't sure what was worse, the hatred I was expecting or the love and support of my parents.

"At first," I swallowed. "I was ashamed and scared. Honestly, I didn't tell anyone."

"Does he know?" My dad asked.

"Who? Kurama?" I asked as his face appeared in my mind. "Yes he does. He found out when I was going through my morning sickness."

"Damn it, Botan," my dad cursed and I knew he was running my hands over his balding head as he let his back bang against the wooden chair. "You are really keeping this baby?"

I was silent for a moment. "Yes. Even if I didn't want to, now it's too late to talk about other options."

"It's never too late," my dad shook his head. "Adoption?"

"I will not abandon my baby," I let the anger slide into my voice. In my head, I could hear Kurama's voice telling me to breath. Slowly I took in a deep breath and let it settle at the bottom of my stomach before exhaling through my nose. "I plan on keeping my baby."

"Do you even understand how hard that is going to be?" my mother asked and I finally looked up from my hands and into her face.

"Yes, yes I do," I told her. "But I am dedicated to make this work." Both were silent for a few moments more as they tried to let everything settle in.

My mother's voice was quiet when she did speak, "Are you… are you planning on going back to St Cloud to be with that boy?"

Before answering her, I thought about the outcome of either decision. "No. I am staying here where I have friends and my family. I know that in order for my child to have the best future, they can't be anywhere near him."

"Botan," my dad spoke with an odd tone in his voice and I couldn't stop myself from looking at his face. "Did this boy… did he…" I could see him fighting with the words. "Did he hurt you?"

The tears welled up in my eyes. My father had never shown me this much concern. Flowing down my cheeks before I could stop the tears, I tried to but on a brave face. Even though the attempt was futile with the tears and red eyes. I nodded when my throat closed up. Coughing enough to speak, I said, "Yes and that's why I can't ever let this child know who their father is."

"Why would you keep this baby then, if he did awful things to you?" my mom asked and reached across the table to clasp my hands. Her tender grip made the tears burn into my skin.

"Why punish a child for the things it's parents did?" I asked and shook my head. "I couldn't do that. I want to raise this child in a happy home and turn into an amazing person, a better person then either of their parents."

Taking a deep breath my dad looked away from me. "This is going to take some time to get used to."

"I know."

**AN: just got off of work, so I'll take a nap and then write more to be posted tomorrow. **


	20. Chapter 20

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: Don't own YYH**

**AN: I'm sure there are many of you who have read my work from the beginning and know a lot about what I went through a few years back. I had to stop writing and seek medical help. I kind of disappeared for a while. One can never be cured from what I went through, but I survived and this story is important to me because it's inspired by some of those true events. And if this story touches you or impacts you in any way, then it's done exactly what I hoped it would. This story is meant to give strength to those who went through something in their lives that they weren't sure if they _could _handle. No body has to be alone, but some times it takes us a really long time to see that. If you've made it this far into my story then be prepared to stick around for the long haul. _  
_**

Chapter twenty

It was hard for me to prepare for a baby when I was so caught up in trivial matters. I should have had been spending that time getting things ready for the big arrival. The heart has a bit of trouble prioritizing sometimes.

* * *

The car ride home was silent as I stared out the window. The dark sky slowly shed snowflakes over the ground and Kurama's car. Barely a buzz in the background, the radio played a local station. Glancing over at the man next to me, Kurama intently watched the road and didn't appear to have much else on his mind. I exhaled and turned back to the cold window.

Seeing our turn off, I couldn't stop the yawn from stretching my lips. "We are almost there," Kurama's voice broke through the silence. I nodded subconsciously. It was almost like time was taunting me at how long it felt like until we pulled off the highway and crept a little bit closer to our apartment. "Do you work tomorrow?"

"Yeah," I said quietly, not even turning to look at him. I watched the trees pass by us as we turned into the apartment complex and drove into the underground garage.

Once he parked, we both left the car and walked leisurely to the elevator. My mom had bought me clothes for my Christmas present but none of them would fit me anymore so I told her she should return them. It took her a moment to respond at the time but she had eventually. I think they probably are going to get me things for the baby.

"Do you want me to stop by tomorrow before I head to work?" he asked and I shrugged. Honestly, I wasn't feeling up for conversation right now. "Botan?"

"Hmm?" I responded as we entered the elevator and pressed the button for our floor.

"Talk to me," Kurama said and reached out to talk my arm with the tips of one hand. "What is going on in that brain? I can't read your mind and I don't know how to help if you shut me out."

"I'm alright, Kurama," I tried to apply a small smile on my lips even though I still didn't look at him.

He didn't respond, but I heard him take a deep breath. We waited for the elevator to ding open and then walked the short distance down the hall. I watched him fiddle with the keys in his hands until he'd found the winning one. Sliding it into the lock, I heard the tumblers click and the door was pushed open. Stepping aside, Kurama let me enter first before following and locking the door behind us. The apartment was dark and quiet, yet I still wouldn't want to be anywhere but here.

"It's only ten, did you want to watch a movie before bed?" he asked and I kicked off my boots into our hall closet. Shrugging off my jacket I watched him toes his shoes off out of the corner of my eyes.

"What did you have in mind?" I had no doubt my voice sounded hollow. I grasped one of the green plastic hangers and slid my jacket on it before replacing it on the rod. Flicking my wrist, I turned on the main room light.

"Nothing with babies," Kurama said and I actually looked over at him, shocked. He had a playful smile on his face and I just rolled my eyes. "Alright, how about Roman Holiday?"

I took a huge breath and really looked at his face. How does he do that? He knows what I want to watch before I do. Somehow he knows what I need. Even though it was illogical I blamed his red hair. It was just so very red that it had to magical. Nodding, I said, "I do like old movies."

He smiled then and took off his black jacket and hung it up. I walked to the living room and poured myself a glass of apple juice while I let him set up the movie. "Did you want to change into your PJ pants before I start? I think I will." There he goes again. He knows what I need… There has to be a catch somewhere in this.

Oh wait, I already found out the catch. 'Just friends.'

I set my glass on the counter and strolled to my room. Flipping the switch up, I flooded the room with light and snatched my pink and grey cotton plaid shorts. I swapped my nice black slacks for the shorts and the blue and black striped blouse for an aqua sports bra and white beater. Then I found one of my cat print blankets my mom had sewed for me in high school and headed back to the living room. Kurama had just returned from his room and grabbed my drink for me. We met at the couch where the menu was already playing. As I sat down and he set my glass on the table, I watched Kurama quickly turn around to turn the light off.

He had replaced his nice clothes for a grey t shirt and his blue sweatpants. I liked those pants. They looked so comfortable and they had cargo pockets. Imagine all the fun things I could carry around in those pockets.

"Ready?" Kurama sat on the opposite side of the couch as me. Nodding, I leaned into the back of the couch and spread the pink and purple cat blanket over my bare legs. He picked up the remote and pressed the play button. His arm stretched out over the back of the couch as the opening sequence started to play. I felt really stiff as I leaned against the other arm. "Botan?" I heard Kurama sigh after a moment. Glancing over at him, I saw his eyebrows raised. He made eye contact with me for a few seconds before speaking again. "Come here, Botan." My body stiffened every more at his command. "Please?" And his tone was soft and made me feel like putty on a hot day. Mentally, I sighed at how he could make me go from zero to sixty in two seconds.

Biting my plump bottom lip, I grasped my blanket in one hand and scooted across the distance so that I could curl into his side. Oh, he felt so nice to cuddle against him. The warmth of his body soothed my muscles. I let his arm drape around my shoulder and meld me into the nook at his side. For now, I would just enjoy the comfort and worry about the confusion and my problems tomorrow.

**AN: new chapter tomorrow afternoon after work!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive **

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

Chapter twenty-one

On some level, I suppose I should thank _him_ for getting me through the pregnancy. When I had to give up alcohol, all I did was remember all the parties he used to drag me to with his friends and remember how many jag-bombs he made me drink. Alcohol was probably the easiest thing to give up. He and my father were big factors in that. Even now, after the birth, I rarely drink because of those influences.

* * *

"How was the appointment today?" Kurama leaned against the bar as I filled the containers of chocolate. My eyes watched the liquid flow from the jug like a thick river of deliciousness. I really wanted to eat it.

"Do you have any gum?" I asked suddenly feeling my mouth over salivate. He nodded and handed me a piece. "I'm getting sick of this symptom probably more than the peeing."

He chuckled and took a sip of his peppermint mocha. "You're almost over that though. Couple more weeks. At least you don't have morning sickness anymore."

I rolled my neck, feeling the stiffness in the muscles while I chewed on the sugar free gum. "For the most part."

"You didn't answer my question, Botan. How did the appointment go?" Kurama raised his eyebrows at me and I could tell I he knew I side stepped it.

"It went fine," I told him, tossing the now empty chocolate jug in the garbage. "The baby has a low risk for down syndrome. I'm happy about that."

"What aren't you happy about then?" his eyes tried to read my facial expression, so I turned and started filling the cold cups on the back counter. That way he wasn't about to read me as easily. "It's been a week since Christmas and I don't know. My mom seems to be adapting really well. She loved seeing the ultrasound of the baby, so much so that she started crying when they gave her a print out."

"That's amazing," Kurama smiled at me and I sighed. "That's not amazing?"

Shaking my head, I'm sure he watched the swish of my blue ponytail swinging back and forth. "My dad just stared at it with this hard expression when we showed him later. It was almost like he didn't want to believe it."

"I'm sure things will get better in time," Kurama told me with a soft tone. I tried not to let it get to me. Why did he treat me this way and call us friends. I am so confused with all of this.

"I can only hope," I said and tried to keep the emotion from my voice. "But my mom took me clothes shopping. I now officially have maternity clothes. It's a little weird."

"Like the bump in your belly didn't make you feel weird before?" he made me laugh at that. I placed one hand on my stomach to run my palm over the bulge in question.

"Touche," I turned back to face him and stock the straws by the bar.

"How's the heartburn? Is it getting any better?" Kurama asked taking another sip of his drink. "I know you said last night it was getting on your nerves."

I took a big breath thinking back on the day. "Today's been pretty decent overall with all the crazy preggers side effects. I have more energy with each day so that makes me a happy mamma."

My words brought a smile to his face and I raised an eyebrow at his sudden glee. "Did you just call yourself a 'mamma'?"

"Yeah?"

"Oh Botan," he shook his head, closing his eyes, as his smile continued to grow. "I am very glad to see you turning into a mother. It's very inspiring to watch how you grow into this role."

"You're making me feel mushy," I looked away from his shining eyes. "Please stop."

"I'm not sure I can," there was a teasing tone behind his smile.

"Botan?" I turned to see Juri standing at the doorway to the backroom. "There is a giant beetle back here. What should I do?"

"Kill it," I said matter-of-factly. "What type of beetle? Is it a cockroach or is it a stag?"

"I don't know," she shifted uncomfortably. I sighed and looked back at Kurama who was trying not to laugh.

"Sorry Kurama, I have to get back to work," I told him and he left after telling me to have a good night. "Alright, Juri, let's go hunt down this bug. Where is it?" The bell rand over the door as a group came through the door. "You go take care of them and I'll go look in back."

"Ok, it was in front of the coffee bean rack when I left," she informed me before bouncing off to the front register. "Welcome to Grounds for Divorce where we support those habits you don't like to admit to your significant other. We have our new Lord of the Ring drinkware in stock now as well as the Sailor Moon junior cups."

Nodding to myself at her attempts to upsell, I turned and walked through the back door to try and find the little rascal that terrorized Juri.


	22. Chapter 22

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: Don't own YYH**

Chapter twenty-two

I never did a real good job at exercising. All the doctors said it would be a great idea for my body to have a regular exercise routine, but it would help with my sore muscle. Even during the first trimester when I was exhausted, they said it'd give me more energy. That seemed crazy. Also, they said if I was feeling depressed, supposedly exercising would help boost up my mood. I probably should have listened to them, but I didn't.

* * *

"First trimester is OVER!" I laughed as Keiko yelled next to me on my bed. "Oh my, we should have a party! Oh, wait. Can we have it here?"

"Keiko," I giggled. "Please, let's hold off on the party until we know the gender of the baby."

She stopped in her million an hour rambling about party supplies. "You're right. We should wait until then…_then_ have a PARTY!"

"Keiko!" I tried to calm her down.

"Sorry, Botan," Keiko laughed. "I'm just so excited for you."

"Have you told Yusuke and Kuwabara?" I asked her and she sat up straighter.

Shaking her head, she said, "No, but if you don't soon, you'll have some serious issues on your hands. It's really hard hiding this from him. This is big, Botan, and I haven't said a single thing to him within this last month about you and the baby. Jeeze, I didn't notice it before, but that guy is a curious little devil."

Laughing, I asked, "Little devil?"

"Yes!" Her hands started doing wild gestures. "He asks about you and Kurama, then he asks about how you're adapting to being back home, then he'll ask if you've seen your parents, and then he'll ask when we are going to go on a double date. It's hard trying to tell half-truths to the man I plan to marry and currently live with."

Taking in a deep breath through my nose, I looked out the window at the January sky. Clouds were covering up anything blue. I don't think I'll ever understand the 'winter wonderland' people talk about. All I see is gloomy grey ice that's tricking my car into a ditch or me to slip on the sidewalk. "I'll invite him over or go visit him soon. I'll tell Yusuke within the next week. Is that ok? Can you continue this ruse until then?"

"Do I have much of a choice?" my eyes left the window to look at the friendly smile on her face. I replied with a side smile of my own. "Yeah, I didn't think so. But it's best if it comes from you. Just be gentle with him. He's sensitive."

I laughed at that, a full belly laugh that I don't get too often. "As sensitive as a lion. I remember middle school very clearly. Pretty sure he didn't fight all the time because those guys made fun of him. It was generally the other way around."

"Which reminds me," Keiko said looking around my room. "You used to have so much stuff from high school. Now your room looks pretty bare. I see you kept some pictures. You don't have the blue monkey stuffed animal from Valley Fair or the umbrella from the Festival of Nations or even the crown from the Hamlet play in high school. Where is everything?"

I was silent for a moment. My smile dropped away from my face. It hurt to give her the answer she was looking for. "I threw it away."

"Why?" Keiko asked and I couldn't tell if that was concern or hurt in her voice.

"When I lived in St Cloud," I paused shaking my head, closing my eyes. "I don't know, he just got under my skin. Somehow I let him convince me that keeping all of that stuff was dragging me down. That the memories were what was making me depressed. I missed all of you so much that I would sit on the floor and cry. He'd come home and find me, get mad, and demand I get rid of my stuff because I was living in the past. He'd say the right things that any rational person would to comfort their girlfriend, but I should have known better. I should have known that he just wanted me for himself. He wanted me to cut everyone out so all I had was him. That I had nowhere to go and no one to turn to so I couldn't leave him."

"I will always be here for you, Botan," Keiko whispered and I knew that her voice was a tad deeper than normal.

Just thinking about him made me want to cry. He was so good at finding ways to torture me. There had been so many tricks up his sleeves. Mentally, I laughed darkly at myself. Even now, he was still tormenting me, making me cry. I was letting him win when the game was already over. "Most of my stuff was thrown out when I lived with him."

"It just means that we'll make new, better memories," Keiko reached out and grabbed my hand. Squeezing lightly until I looked up at her misty brown eyes, she smiled reassuringly. "We've been friends since we were kids. One evil boyfriend won't separate us. Seven might prove to be more of a challenge but I think I could do it."

"Don't worry," I gave her a little chuckle in between sniffles. "I don't have seven evil exes."

"Good," she laughed, letting go of my hand. "I don't want to pull a Scott Pilgrim."

Smiling at my friend, we agreed to go make a pizza and watch a movie. It was my night off and Kurama had to work, so we had the apartment to ourselves. I was so thankful to have her back in my life.


	23. Chapter 23

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I hate that I don't own YYH.**

**AN: Smexy Kitten, so happy to hear from you again. Glad to have your reviews and criticisms back. So I will update a second time today for you! Hope you enjoy. I missed you a ton! (hug!)**

Chapter twenty-three

At the time I never gave Kurama enough credit. He gave up a lot for me when he barely knew me. Through the pregnancy he put up with all my symptoms, all my break downs, and he even took all the rumors with stride. Not once did he lose his cool, calm mentality. We got through everything together, that included all the horrible things people said about the two of us.

* * *

Thursday rolled around as I decided to eat a yogurt at the breakfast bar. The cinnamon granola was so yummy today, I feel like I could eat twelve of these. I set the spoon in my mouth and closed my eyes letting my tongue really indulge in the flavors.

"I think you are enjoying that a little too much," Kurama's voice made me yelp slightly, dropping the spoon on the counter. He chuckled at me as I opened my eyes to see him approach with the plaid pants and white undershirt. "Good morning, Botan."

"Good morning Kurama," I said nervously picking up the spoon and wiping the counter with the sleeve of my cheap pink long sleeve from Target. "Uh… so how are you doing today?"

"Very well, thank you," Kurama smiled at me, hint of tease in his eyes. "I'd ask you the same, however, I saw the interaction with the yogurt you just had. That kind of speaks for itself."

I tsked him then. "Don't be jealous Kurama. It's just a parfait."

His laugh was contagious. "I would just like you to know, that a parfait couldn't even compare to me." His hand rose to splay against his chest.

"Be careful Kurama," I momentarily bit my bottom lip to hide my smile. "Your ego is starting to show."

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn," Kurama said and I laughed again.

"Ok Rhett Butler," I shook my head and took another spoonful of yogurt in my mouth.

A heavy pounding started on our door and both Kurama and I looked at each other in confusion. "Were you expecting anyone today?" I shook my head and looked at the clock. It was almost one in the afternoon and I knew my parents would both be at work.

Kurama stood and walked to the door. Turning the handle and pulling the door wide, I hadn't expected to see a fist fly in and make contact with his jaw. I dropped my yogurt on the floor, as Kurama staggered backwards. Jumping from my stool, I felt the squish of my breakfast between my bare toes. My hands flying to my chest to clasp together at my collarbone.

"That's me going easy on you, asshole!" Yusuke stomped through the front door. Kurama straightened and rubbed a thumb at his bleeding lip. "How dare you? Is that why you let her move in with you? So you could take advantage of a woman going through a tough time? That's like picking up a woman at a funeral!"

"Yusuke?!" The shock in my voice drew his attention. But his eyes only made contact with my face for a second before descending to see the small bump at my belly.

"Damn it Botan," Yusuke shook his head with anger in his eyes before he threw another punch at Kurama. Luckily he'd been expecting this and dodged the fist.

"Can we talk about this Yusuke?" Kurama asked and took a small step back. "Let's handle this peacefully. Like adults."

"Like adults?" Yusuke laughed. "You knocked up one of my best friends! Do you have any intention of at least marrying her and raising your child?"

"Wooh," Kurama exhaled deeply. "What?"

"You got to be kidding me?" Yusuke threw his hands into the air in aggravation. "You could at least make an honest woman out of her. I expected so much more from you Kurama! You were supposed to be better than everyone else. I mean, come on, I thought you were better than… whatever the fuck this is."

"Yusuke!" I shouted, trying to draw his attention. He seemed so caught up in his rant. Momentarily I glanced at Kurama, who's lip was still bleeding. "Yusuke Urameshi!"

"Don't even get me started on you Botan!" Yusuke turned to point a finger at me. "You let this … man… not even sure I want to call him that any more… defile you and get you pregnant? You are such a better person than that too! What the hell is wrong with you people?"

"Kurama's not the father," I tried to yell at him but with every word, my voice got quieter. Silence followed my statement as Yusuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"What?" His eyebrows rose even with his eyes still closed.

"I am not the father," Kurama said for me. My heart was beating so fast that I was starting to get dizzy. I took a slow breath from my nose and sat back down on the stool and braced my hands on the counter.

"What do you mean you aren't the father?" Yusuke opened his eyes to study Kurama with a deadly look in his eyes.

Kurama looked at me nervously and I wasn't sure if it was because Yusuke might kill him or if it was because I looked like I was going into labor. So I shook my head, trying to clear the fog. "Kurama has been taking care of me since I found out that I was pregnant, Yusuke." I explained. "He's the good guy. You don't need to hit him again."

"Who then, is the father?" Yusuke turned to me, still with anger in his voice. But that expression dropped away when he saw my fragile state. "Botan?"

"I'm fine," I told him. "Just dizzy. You got me a bit more worked up than normal."

Kurama slowly moved around the bar, keeping an eye on Yusuke as he walked around him. He walked over to me and grabbed a rag from the sink to clean the floor. "You stepped in it." He whispered and I gave a sarcastic laugh. Using the rag, he cleaned my foot first.

"That tickles…" I tried not to giggle while he grabbed my ankle and cleaned the yogurt from my toes.

"Done," he said and started on the floor.

"Is someone going to explain?" Yusuke nearly shouted, slamming his palms against the granite top.

"Sit, Yusuke," Kurama stood and tossed the dirty rag one sink. He turned and set one hand softly on my shoulder as I laid my hands in my lap. Looking up at him now that I wasn't feeling like I was going to faint any moment, he asked, "Did you want another yogurt?"

Shaking my head, I said, "No, I'm not really hungry any more. Maybe in a little bit. You should grab some ice for that." I lifted a finger to motion to his lip. There would most definitely be a nice bruise there soon. That was no doubt Yusuke going easy on him.

"I'll be alright," Kurama chuckled. "I am tougher than I look."

"Guys?" Yusuke sat on a stool. "Come on."

"Sorry Yusuke," I shrugged slightly. "Kurama's not the father."

"Then who is?" he was getting aggravated. It wasn't hard to tell.

"My ex from Cloud," I told him and I waited for it to sink in.

"The one with the red hair?" I nodded and he ran a hand over his jelled hair. "I knew it ended bad, does he know?"

"No, I don't plan on ever telling him," I said honestly.

"You should have let me believe it was Kurama," Yusuke shook his head. "I would have gotten over that. But this guy… this guy I might kill if I ever see him again."


	24. Chapter 24

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

Chapter twenty-four

Changing my diet was harder than I expected, luckily Kurama was always looking over my shoulder. I'd never felt comfortable with people watching me eat, but that had to quickly change. There was no more sneaking a strip of beef jerky or going out and eating a pint of ice cream when I was upset. Instead he'd hand me a pack of dried pineapple. I knew it was for the best, but I missed my old ways sometimes.

* * *

"How'd things go with Yusuke after I left?" I asked Kurama as we sat at a table in a small Chinese restaurant in Minnetonka. Even at lunch time, this authentic hole in the wall was deserted. But it really did have the best food.

"You mean: did he attack me again?" Kurama smirked at me and I said a slight darkening at his lip. Honestly, I was surprised it was only that bad. I've seen Yusuke's effect on people and it was always brutal. "No, he was very calm once you left for work." I was silent, taking a sip of my ice water. Watching the colorful fish in the aquarium, I felt like there was definitely more to the story. "You know, Yusuke puts himself in the position of your older brother."

"What makes you say that?" I asked, looking back at him.

"Besides coming over to beat me up," Kurama said with one raise eyebrow. "He feels the need to protect you. It was in between the lines of our conversation. Yusuke's not going to let anything happen to you and he's going to keep this up until he feels someone else is there to take care of you."

"Yeah? So now that you are around, he is just gonna back off?" I asked and tried not to look like I needed an answer desperately.

He paused momentarily before answering, drawing out the suspense, "We'll see."

What the hell does that even mean!

The waiter walked up then with our food. He nodded several times as we thanked him before he turned and left. Looking down at my plate, I realized how hungry I was and couldn't stop from picking up a big fork full. The tangerine wafted into my nose from the utensil making my mouth water instantly.

"Has Yusuke always been like that?" Kurama asked when I started chewing the delicious beef.

Nodding, I swallowed my bite. "Yeah, it intensified in high school though. My dad kicked me out my senior year a lot and Yusuke let me live with him and his mom. Freshmen year in college, he kicked me out right after I came home for Christmas break. So I spent the holidays with Yusuke's family. It wasn't until after New Year's that my dad told me my mom had been in the hospital because one of her kidneys failed. I remember him getting so mad that I wasn't there for my mom. But how could I when he wouldn't let me in the house."

"Yusuke's mom just let you stay there? Why didn't you stay with one of the girls?" Kurama asked while he took a bit of his breaded shrimp.

I shrugged and looked down at my plate. "It's weird, but I didn't want to impose on them. I didn't want to make Keiko worry so much when she had her dad's restaurant to help out with and her mom's health. Yusuke had, for the most part, always just been Keiko's crazy boyfriend. After that, he became my family. I can't even tell you how many times that guy has helped me move."

"How did you pick Yusuke, of all people, to move in with?" Kurama asked, taking a scoop of rice from the bowl in the middle.

I laughed at that. "Ya know, I don't think I really _picked_ Yusuke. It's weird, but I feel like he was the one who picked me."

"Can you elaborate a bit more?" I watched Kurama eat for a moment before responding.

"My dad had just kicked me out and I was on my way to see Keiko, but I couldn't do it," I admitted to him. "I had my POS station wagon packed with a bag full of clothes and my school bag. And…" I shrugged nonchalantly. "And I sat at the park in Keiko's neighborhood in Chaska, on one of the swings. I remember it starting to sprinkle and not caring. Where was I going to go? I was better off spending the night in the park, sleeping in a tube than attempting to go back home."

"Why did your dad kick you out?"

I played with the peppers and mini corn cobs on my plate while I thought about my answer. "Because I looked at him weird?" I shrugged. "College was because I was dating someone younger than me and I didn't understand that while with me they weren't going to go anywhere in life. By the way, Shishi, ended up cheating on me several times before finding himself in the art of music." I couldn't stop the eye roll and the heated tone that came when I talked about him. "We didn't last long, but our break up was what led me into the arms of the baby daddy." I paused to collect my thoughts again. "I don't know about my dad though. He was on a few medications at the time that really messed with him. So, anything could set him off. My clothes, my make-up, the people I talk to, not responding with Sir, coming home to late. You name it, I was probably kicked out for it at some point. Leaving my shoes by the front door instead of putting them in the closet."

"I'm sure Keiko would have let you stay with them," Kurama's eyebrows were pinched together while he spoke.

"Yeah, I believe she would have," I nodded. "But I didn't want to put that on them. And that is when Yusuke showed up." I laughed to myself at the memory. I had been watching my feet kick at the wood chips when his voice had broken through my mental self-pity rant. "He was pretty chill about the situation actually. At the time we were mere acquaintances."

"So you agreed to stay with a guy you barely knew, over asking your best friend?" Kurama tilted his head as he thought about that.

"Yeah, pretty much," I laughed. "But he seriously played it off like we were supposed to meet there and asked if I wanted to play Halo with him that night. He reached out his hand and pulled me off the swing and told me I could drive to his place. I ended up staying for the next week with him. His mom was pretty cool about it too. In exchange for me staying there, I did chores and I cooked meals."

"You make it sound like you were there a lot," Kurama pointed out.

"Enough to make him my big brother," that made Kurama chuckle and I took another bite of my food.

"Where did he find you in Keiko's neighborhood? I don't remember seeing a park," Kurama asked and took a drink while I chewed.

"Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive."


	25. Chapter 25

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

**AN: I know! It's super duper short! I'm sorry but I thought combining this and the next would take away from each chapters importance. Sorry guys!**

Chapter twenty-five

My father unknowingly molded me for the future. After growing up with him, I had become a push over because I let fear control me. Every man I had been with in my life, I had handed them the reins and let them hold power over me because that's how I grew up. But this baby changed me. I was done letting people tell me what to do or what to say.

* * *

"When are we taking the birthing classes?" Kurama asked as I walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. Blinking several times to let the question sink in, I approached the red haired man. He was digging through the utensil drawer.

"We aren't taking those classes," I informed him sitting on a chair that let me watch him fiddle with everything.

"What do you mean, we aren't taking the classes?" he paused long enough to give me a confused glance before continuing his search.

Shaking my head, I felt my hair slip past my shoulders. "It's not necessary. Not with all the books you've bought, the internet, and my mom. I feel pretty secure in all of this."

He turned to lean against the counter, crossing his arms in front of his chest, and leveled me with a serious expression. "You don't want to take any of the classes? None of them?"

"I'll probably do the breast feeding class and a tour of the hospital," I told him. "I don't want to do the other classes."

"I think it might be good for us to look into them though," Kurama tilted his head with this innocent look but steeled eyes. It confused me and angered me at the same time.

"Us?" I almost laughed. "I don't understand."

He almost seemed as confused as I thought I was. "If we are going to be doing this, I think it would be good to look into some of this. Knowledge is power in all things."

I licked my lips, giving me a second to think about my word choices. Shaking my head, I stood back up. "In this together? Kurama, we aren't together, though. I'm in this. Me. With my baby."

"Botan," Kurama sighed and pushed away from the counter but I held up my palm to signal for him to stop.

"No," I shook my head. "You keep doing this. You keep putting yourself in the father position and that was something you had accused me of when you found out. I didn't move in here to make you into this baby's father."

"That was not my intention," Kurama said quietly. His lips pressing together.

"When you use words like: Us, we, together. The message then gets a little screwed up," I was letting my anger leak out. "You confuse me so much. I have no idea what is going on here. Some days I think you want to be with me. Other days you say we are just friends. I'm fucking confused."

"I'm sorry, Botan," Kurama's face had started fall at my rant.

"No, I'm sorry," I snapped. "I can't keep doing this day in and day out. We are so comfortable together that the lines are starting to blur and I don't know where I lie with you. I can't figure it out. I can't seem to piece together what you actually want out of this whole situation."

He was silent and I could tell he didn't intend to speak until he'd figured out what was going through that brain of his. Shaking my head in frustration, I turned and grabbed my coat, boots, and keys before storming out the front door. Not to look at him as I slammed the door.


	26. Chapter 26

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

**AN: Rough day today, so I will try to make things better for you guys. Here's an extra chapter. I want to personally thank Smexy Kitten and Venessia for making my night just a little bit better with your reviews. They definitely made me smile.**

Chapter twenty-six

Although I found that hidden power, I may forgotten from time to time who was really on my side and who was trying to control me. Like I said earlier, I have made mistakes and I will never stop trying to make them up to you.

* * *

I watched the puff of steam leave my mouth as I sighed deeply. This was such a mess and I didn't help much when I stormed out. When I go back, I should probably start apartment hunting again. Patting the pockets of my plump coat, I came up empty. Yeah, no phone, apartment hunting will definitely have to wait until I decide to return. Laughing sarcastically under my breath at myself, I leaned against the back of the wooden bench. Shoving my bare hands in the pockets, I tried not to shiver from January wind.

"There you are!" I heard the crunching of snow behind me, but I didn't have to turn around to know who was approaching.

"What are you doing here?" I called over my shoulder as the crunching got louder. The sun gleamed over the frozen lake in front of me, casting a bright streak on its surface. Luckily, it wasn't snowing and the cloudless sky raised the temperature above freezing today.

"A little birdie asked me to find you," he said as I felt his presence at my back. I heard the melody of two bottles clinking before they suddenly appeared in front of my face. "Hold these."

"Yusuke, I can't have caffeine," I rolled my eyes but grabbed them anyways. Barely two seconds passed before he shoved something over my head. "Easy there." I tried to lean out of his hold but he just kept fidgeting with the cloth cap, knotting my hair, until he felt it was secure enough.

"If you can have two cups of coffee a day, then you can have one root beer," Yusuke hopped over the back of the bench to sit next to me. Signaling to hand him one bottle, I sighed and did so. I watched him pop the top of the Goose Island bottle.

"How do you know how much caffeine I can have?" I asked raising my eyebrows at him. I tugged on the sleeves of my coat to cover my hands while still holding the other bottle.

"Switch," he indicated the bottle in my hands with his chin. I silently handed it to him and he gave me the open one. "I looked it up. Smart phones are really good with google." I laughed slightly. Bringing the bottle to my lips, I let the cool liquid pass my lips and slide down my throat. Oh, it felt so good to feel the bubbly beverage on my tongue again.

"Just like old times," I whispered into the wind.

"Yeah, I suppose so," Yusuke shrugged and took a sip from his brown bottle. "I don't always remember it being this cold though."

"We never came out during the winter," I scoffed.

"Plus, pretty sure a lot of these trees are new or something," his free hand swept over the scenery. We sat in silence for a moment on that bench, both looking over the lake in front of us.

"Why are you here?" I asked after several minutes. I saw the white breath he let out during his sigh.

"Kurama was worried," Yusuke told me honestly, stretching his legs out in front of him. My own feet played with the snow on the ground. "He called me a little bit ago. I don't know the details of what happened, but he asked me to find you and make sure you were alright."

I didn't have a response, so I kept my lips tight and watched a rabbit stroll through a few snow covered bushes. What's a girl to do? Sighing quietly, I took another drink from the bottle.

"Botan," Yusuke took a deep breath as he drew my attention to his face. He seemed unsure but at ease at the same time. "What's going on? Honestly. Kurama's not your usual type. Why go after him?"

"I thought you didn't know the specifics, Yusuke," I said and he swore under his breath.

"I don't, shit," Yusuke sat up to lay his elbows on his knees. His finger nails scratched at the label. "But I know you. You got this heartbroken expression on your face. I don't like seeing you like this and I've seen this look a lot from you. Just this time, it's different and I don't know why."

"He's a great guy," I told him honestly. Shrugging I looked down at my black boots, covered in dirt and snow. "I just don't know what he wants from me."

"Did it ever occur to you that he is just happy with you in his life?" Yusuke asked and I felt the confusion settle into my eyebrows. "Why do you have to put a label on it right now? You are gonna be a mom, Botan. You should focus on your child. Kurama's not going anywhere."

"Yeah, but-"

"No, stop," Yusuke turned his head to meet my gaze. "Kurama will still be here after the baby is born. You are stressing yourself out. I get it, believe me, relationships are confusing."

"Shut up Yusuke," I laughed. "You and Keiko have been together forever."

"Yeah, but there was a time I didn't think she'd wait for me to come back," he said quietly and I fell silent. He sighed and leaned back against the wood. "I told her not too. I know what it's like for women who wait for a guy to come home. My mom waited forever. Until she got her letter that he wasn't coming back and still she waited, hoping he'd show up one day. I didn't want to take that chance with Keiko. What if I didn't come back?"

"You know she would have waited anyways," I said quietly, but I wasn't sure if he'd heard me.

"We weren't together when I left for training," I watched him lick his lips before taking a swig of root beer. "But damn it, she was waiting for me, the moment I stepped off that plane. It was like we hadn't broken up at all."

"In her eyes, the two of you never broke up," I told him and he nodded, a few loose hairs falling into his face. Keiko hadn't ever told me they had broken up when he left, but I had no doubt that to her they hadn't.

"Yeah and that's why I didn't go to Afghanistan," he pressed his lips together for a moment. "I knew she wouldn't stop waiting and I'm just dumb enough to die over there."

"Yusuke…" I said his name softly. I took my hands out of my sleeves, one grabbing the bottle and the other circling his bicep for me to lay my head on his shoulder.

"Botan, Kurama's not going anywhere," Yusuke shook his head. "Cut the guy some slack. I know things are confusing. Come on, I found out from Kuwabara seeing you two leaving the doctor's office together. How fucked up is that?"

"I'm sorry about that Yusuke," I held his arm tighter.

"Hey now," Yusuke took his arm back and threw it over the back of the bench. He used that hand to pull me closer so I could lean into him. "I found out before the baby was born. That's what's important. And now Keiko doesn't have to hide it from me anymore." His laughter made my muscles loosen slightly. "But I'm not the problem here, am I?"

I felt my lips pout. "No…"

"No, I'm not," he nodded taking a sip. "So you're gonna go home and, if you have to, have crazy monkey make up sex with that red haired man."

"Yusuke Urameshi!" I sat up, slapping his chest. It only encouraged him to laugh. "I'm pregnant, not slutty."

"Hormones," Yusuke shrugged. "But go home. He's worried about you. And I mean like pacing until the carpet starts on fire, worrying."

"It has been a few hours," I sighed to myself and stood.

"It's been a little more than a few hours," he gave me a sarcastic laugh.

"Well, are you gonna walk with me?" I asked. "Or are you going to let a helpless pregnant woman walk home in the woods by herself when the sun is about to set?"

"That's kinda low, Botan," Yusuke shook his head but stood up and laughed. "Let's bring you home."


	27. Chapter 27

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

**AN: Good morning! It's my day and we all know what that means... a lot of updating today haha. Well Vanessia, thank you for reviewing! I think this is what you were looking for -wink-**

Chapter twenty-seven

Whenever it came to a fight or flight situation, it was practically hard wired in me to pick flight. I had never always felt more comfortable with running away from the bad things then standing up for what I believed in. It usually ended up back firing on me. But I think that was something you taught me to do. Slowly I was starting to stand up for what the things I wanted.

* * *

I could feel the blood pumping through the veins in my arms as I took slow steps toward the door of our apartment. Stopping a foot from our place, I fixated on the door handle thinking about what may or may not happen on the other side.

The sun had set completely by the time Yusuke had left me at the front door. No sound came through the wood panels and I thought maybe he'd gone to work and I would be able to hold off the conversation another day. It was Wednesday after all.

Taking a deep breath I glanced down both sides of the hall as if I was checking for possible exit strategies. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and turned the door knob. One foot in front of the other, I can do this. It's not like I was coming home to my dad or my ex where I knew there would be hell to pay. This is Kurama, he's sweet and gentle and really cares about me.

I chewed on my bottom lip as I pushed open the door and took a few steps inside. Pushing the door shut behind me, I locked the door out of habit. Turning back, I kicked off boots by the door and looked around at our dark apartment. It appeared like he'd left for work and I was off the hook. Sighing, I shrugged off my coat and opened the closet door to hang it up.

"Botan?" Kurama came out of the door to his room. "I wasn't sure if that was the front door opening or not."

"Hey," I said quietly shutting the closet door before looking at him. His face looked worn. The worry in his features added quite a few years on to his appearance. "I'm back."

His was silent while his eyes searched my body as if he was looking for some serious damage. Anything to explain why I had been gone all day. He took several steps closer to stand about a foot from me. Twitching at his side, I had no doubt he wanted to reach out and touch me to find evidence of injury or something of that sort. "You look cold."

"You look like shit." He laughed at my remark, but it seemed like his throat couldn't remember how to make that sound. "Kurama-"

"I'll make you some hot chocolate," he quickly side stepped me to round the breakfast bar and open the fridge for the milk.

"Kurama stop," I sighed and turned to watch him set the container on the counter next to the refrigerator. His back was to me when he lowered his head slightly to stare down at the counter top. "We should talk." Honestly, I surprised myself with how calm I had become since I saw him. I saw his shoulders hitch in a sigh of his own.

"Do we need to?" Kurama turned to look at me and I could see the stress in his eyes. "Why can't we forget about today?" The look on his face broke my heart a little bit. He looked so lost and almost like he was begging me.

"Kurama," I whispered his name. Swallowing the lump in my throat and ignoring the increase in my heart beat, I rounded the bar to stand in front of him. "I don't know what's going on here. But it feels right." I reached up to place a shaky hand on his shoulder. He remained silent as he watched my face. A shallow breath slid down my throat. My eyes rose to meet his as we stood there. It was almost like slow motion to me. But that was probably from the adrenaline.

My toes pushed up as my hand gripped his shoulder. It was barely seconds before my lips touched his. But as quick as I felt the soft pressure of his unmoving lips, it was over and I was settling back on my heels. Biting my lower lip, I looked at his shocked face. His eyes were unreadable now and his mouth was slightly agape in surprise. Stepping away from him, I bit my bottom lip. "I'm sorry Kurama." I whispered. "I make things so complicated and I can't help that." He remained silent for another moment and I nodded to myself, taking another step backwards. "I am going to go to bed early tonight, I think."

Another step back and I was really starting to doubt that he would speak to me again tonight. Licking my lips, I remember how soft his were. A part of me wished he would have kissed me back or reached out to hold me. Then again another part of me knew that I was only dreaming. He doesn't do much without knowing the outcome first.

"Good night, Kurama," I said quietly over the lump growing in my throat. Another step back and around the corner of the breakfast bar.

"Wait, Botan," Kurama said quickly and I glanced back at his face with a little hope in my eyes. "It's barely after six. Would you want to watch a movie before bed? We could order some dinner, if you haven't eaten."

I smiled slightly and nodded. "I'd like that."


	28. Chapter 28

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH… am I the only one who gets sick of disclaimers?**

Chapter twenty eight

Even with all the side effects of the pregnancy, I don't think I'd ever felt this comfortable in one place for that long. Since high school, I think it was the longest I'd ever stayed in one place. And that was probably all because of Kurama and the support he'd shown me.

* * *

"I've had a few nose bleeds this week, but nothing too bad," I sat on the leather couch, holding my phone to my ear. Kurama sat on the other side, rubbing the pads of my feet. It felt amazing and it lulled me to almost fall asleep while talking to my mom. "No, my gums haven't bled yet. I don't doubt they will though. Eventually." I listened to her talk for a while about her pregnancy with me, before her next question came up. "Yeah, all the tests have come back from my screenings. I'm cleared of everything. Yay."

"Ask her about the baby shower," Kurama whispered while rubbing an extra sore spot.

"Oh, ma," I said trying to blink myself awake. "Keiko is throwing a baby shower next weekend. It's mainly just for friends and immediate family. So you and dad are invited. Yep, yep, it will be here at our place on Sunday."

"She doesn't have to bring anything," Kurama whispered and I nodded to him.

"No, mom, you don't need to help with the food," I smiled to myself. "Keiko and the girls have got that covered. Oh that felt good."

Kurama laughed as I quickly apologized to my mother. "Sorry."

"Ok mom," I said, rolling my shoulders. "Remember, Keiko is going with me to the doctor appointment this week. So don't take it off work. Yes this is the big reveal. But you will find out at the shower. Ok, love you too. Bye mom."

I hung up and rolled my head back to lay on the pillow behind me. "Don't be so stressed out." Kurama laid my feet on the carpet floor before grabbing my hands and helping me into a sitting position. "Are you nervous to find out the gender?"

"A little," I laughed and laid a hand on the bump in my stomach. "But then I know a bit more about whom I've been talking to."

"Do you talk to your baby a lot?" he asked with raised eyebrows. "I've never seen you do that."

"Maybe you just are never around when I do," I stuck my tongue out at him but quickly put it back at his facial expression. There was something off in his eyes and his lips were lax. It wasn't a bad expression but if I didn't know any better I would expect him to kiss me. Blinking a few times I looked into his eyes, with hope in my own. I had made the first move; it was his turn to make the next. My hand was still in his and I felt my fingers tighten slightly in his grip.

In a few seconds, Kurama blinked and leaned backwards to give me a soft smile. "I'd love to hear you talk to the baby." I felt my shoulders slump slightly. Pooey…

"Well, we will just have to wait and see," I gave him my best secretive smile. I stood up then, but he continued to hold on to my hand. Giving him a quizzical look, I said, "I should get ready for work."

"Wait," he smiled at me from his seated position and then moved his hands to grab my hips. I bit my lip as I watched him raise the hem of my shirt slightly to gaze at the swollen belly. "Well little baby, if your mom refuses to say anything to you in front of others. Then let me break the ice." I laughed at him.

"Kurama, come on," I said as I started to feel awkward.

"You see your mom, here, is a very strong woman who loves you so much," Kurama said to my stomach as he held my hips. "We can't wait to bring you out into this world and into our home." He gently kissed my belly and my breath sucked in at the warmth of his lips on my skin.

It had to be the cutest damn thing I've ever seen. Then he looked up at me with so much emotion in my eyes that I couldn't stop the smile that spread on my face and my hand that ran tenderly through his hair. Softly I said, "Ok, Kurama, I'm going to go get ready for work now."

"Alright," he nodded and rolled down my dark blue shirt.


	29. Chapter 29

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku F-ing Minouke **

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

**AN: Herpderpderpy this chapter is for you :D thank you so much for reviewing! Definitely made my awful day off, just a little bit better.**

Chapter twenty-nine

I was more amazed with each passing week. There was so much I was discovering, new and old . Most importantly I learned how many people I had that supported me as I took this unexpected journey.

* * *

It was the day of the baby shower and I was nervous. Keiko had found out the gender of the baby several days ago and I was bursting at the seams to tell everyone. There were a lot more people here then I had expected to show up.

"What would you like me to do?" my mother whispered in my ear when people started to arrive. "Kuwabara is at the front of the building letting people in. Keiko is serving food. Your dad is handing out champagne."

"I don't," I shrugged. "I'd ask Keiko. She's the one hosting. I'm just here for the food." I giggle at my own joke and my mom smiled and squeezed my shoulder.

"Would you like me to grab you a plate of food?" she asked and I shook my head.

"Mom!" we both turned to see Yusuke's huge smile. He approached and gave my mother a hug. "It's been a while since I've seen you. How's it going?"

"Oh Yusuke," my mom laughed and hugged him back. "You know just how to butter me up. How's your mother doing these days? Is she still working at the legion?"

"Yeah, same old shit," he said nonchalantly. "She's started bartending there, putting those old drinking habits to use now but serving drunks instead of being drunk."

"Well I'm glad to hear she's not on the other side of the bar anymore," my mother smiled at him. "It's great to see you again."

"I'm gonna go mingle guys," I said before leaving them to catch up. I approached the first people I saw. Biting the corner of my lip I approached my relatives. "Hey guys," I said softly. "Thanks for coming."

"Oh Botan," my aunt said. "We wouldn't miss this for the world."

"Look, I'm really sorry about Christmas," Touya blurted out. "I thought you were only hiding it from us, not your whole family."

I laughed and shook my head. "I'm not mad anymore. In the end, my family knows now. At the time though, I could have killed you."

"I wouldn't have blamed you," Touya said and I knew he was being honest.

"That's all in the past though," my aunt placed a hand on her sons shoulder.

"When do we get to figure out the gender?" Sayaka asked and I smiled down into her dark eyes.

"In a little bit," I told her. "Keiko has a surprise for everyone."

"Hey Botan!" I turned to see a few more familiar faces enter the room and I excused myself from the group. I couldn't have stopped the smile if I had tried.

"Yukina," I smiled at the blue haired girl as I drew closer. "It has been forever since I've seen you. You're hair has gotten so long." And it had, in high school she had had it chopped short but today it was pulled back by a bow at the small of her neck.

"How is it you know Yukina?" Kurama appeared next me and I jumped slightly. "Sorry to scare you." I felt his hand on my back, calming my heart instantly.

Laughing, Yukina and I shared a glance before looking at the floor. "We had gym together in high school," I told him. "It was a badminton, tennis, and pickleball class. Actually, it was me, Yukina, and Kuwabara in that class. It's where the two of them met as well."

"I'm missing something," Kurama looked between us. "Yukina, don't hold out on me."

She gave him the tiniest of smiles. "It was a very interesting class. There was definitely never a dull moment."

"Except when we ran the mile," I said. "Well, when Kuwabara ran the mile. We walked it. My time was eleven minutes."

"You shouldn't sound proud of that," Hiei walked up behind Yukina.

"Oh Hiei," I said, puffing out a small breath. "Not everyone took track and can run it under five minutes."

"Not everyone gets a C in Badminton," Hiei rolled his eyes.

"Only because I didn't like to change," I explained to Kurama who was trying not to snicker at the interaction.

"Alright!" Keiko's voice boomed over the crowd. "Can I get everyones attention? We are going to pass out the cupcakes now. Please don't bite into them until I give the word." Yusuke, Keiko, and my parents passed out the cupcakes to the small group that had collected in the party room of our apartment building. "Ok guys. Let's see your colors." On cue, everyone bit into the small cupcakes to reveal the hidden frosting inside.

"Oh my god," my mother breathed deeply as she gazed into the center of the dessert.

"This is cupcake is delicious," Yusuke mumbled to Keiko, who in turn shushed him.

"It's a boy…" I could see the tears in her eyes as she spoke from across the room. It was always hard to see her cry, even happy tears. Without a moment's notice, I stepped around Kurama and headed for my mother. She didn't need much encouragement as I pulled her into a tight hug. "It's a boy." She repeated in my ear.

People in the crowd started talking again as I leaned back to look at my mother's face. "Mom?"

"Oh, Botan," a smile was on her lips as her hands went to my stomach. "I'm going to have a grandson."

"Now you can start looking at names," Keiko said from next to my mom. "Not that you haven't thought about it already, I'm sure."

"Have you?" My mom asked and I shrugged.

"I've browsed but nothing has stuck yet," I told her and glanced around the crowd at the groups of people who had gone back to their previous conversations. I spotted my dad at the beverage table. He was stand there looking down at the bottle of champagne. "Hey, ma, I'm gonna go talk to dad real quick." She nodded as I turned to make my way across the room. I wasn't sure if he saw me coming or not. But I am sure that he wasn't expecting me to speak to him. "Daddy?"

He looked up at me and I could see the glaze covering his eyes. "You really do look amazing, Botan."

It was probably one of the nicest things he'd ever said to me and I took several steps forward to hug my father. "How are you doing dad?" I asked as I felt his arms hold me tightly. He held on for several moments and I wasn't sure if he planned on letting me go. He did, however, after a long minute.

"I'm doing alright," he said with a deep breath. The brown in his eyes shined with emotion I hadn't seen there in a long time. "Have you eaten yet?"

I laughed lightly. "There will be plenty for me to eat when everyone has left later. Don't worry about that."

"I know I haven't been the greatest father to you Botan," he said suddenly and I straightened my shoulders subconsciously. "But I am proud of the woman you have become."

"What is going on?" I asked, frowning suddenly. "You've never been proud of me, except when I told you I had started drinking when I moved up to St. Cloud at eighteen."

"Damn it, Botan," my father pressed his lips together. "Can't I ever tell you anything without you wanting to start a fight?"

I sighed and took a step back. "I'm sorry." I hollowed out my insides to not show him what I was feeling. A tricked I'd learned in high school.

"Just forget it," my dad shook his head in anger. "Stop being such a brat."

"This is supposed to be a happy day. Let's not argue," I told him quietly before turning and walking away before it got really heated. I approached Kurama, Yusuke, and Hiei by the pool table. I didn't say anything as I stood in between Hiei and Kurama.

"Just look at him," Yusuke point toward the bar where the food was. "He hangs out with the girls more than he hangs out with us." I glanced in the direct Yusuke was pointing at and saw Kuwabara with Yukina, Keiko, Shizuru, and my mother.

"It's because he has a vagina," Hiei told Yusuke like it was in deed a fact.

Kurama snickered and I tried to force a small smile, but it felt awkward.

"Damn it, Hiei," Yusuke shook his head. "Can you just tell your sister to cut her ball and chain loose for a few hours so we can hang out for once?"

"There are so many issues with that statement," Hiei rolled his eyes. "Her 'Ball and chain' is a willing victim. You can't cut someone loose when they refuse to leave."

"He's practically humping her leg!" Yusuke exclaimed as Kuwabara held Yukina's plate while she talked to Keiko.

Suddenly I felt a hand grab mine and looked over to see Kurama giving me a gentle smile with a worried expression coating his eyes. This time I meant the small smile I gave him. Just because my dad and me never get along doesn't mean that I can't be happy with the other people here.


	30. Chapter 30

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke **

**Disclaimer: Don't own nothing; no YYH, no car, I don't even have a bike. I do, as of recent, own this laptop.**

**AN: Ah thanks Bee! I really just think nowadays people are getting too lazy (rolls eyes).That makes me feel old haha. But thank you for reviewing, so I'm dedicating this chapter to you before I head off to work!**

Chapter thirty

It was weird that the more I talked to the baby in my stomach the more human I felt. Normally when someone starts talking to themselves it's deemed crazy. Lucky for me, my baby became my sanity plea. So really, my baby saved me from more than one trip to the loony bin.

* * *

"It's official," Kurama stood in the doorway of my room watching me analyze the front of a stroller box. "You are seventeen weeks a long today."

"Oh jeeze," I laughed. "My little boy is getting so old."

He pushed off the doorjamb and entered my room to stand next to me. "Well he is as big as a turnip now."

"I think you've read more baby books than I have," I spared him a glance before attempting to open the box with my fingernails. Shaking his head, Kurama dug through his back pocket and pulled out a box cutter.

"I got this," he smiled at me and cut open the top of the box. "Benefits of overnights, lots of box cutters."

"At least you don't leave them everywhere," I nodded. "Which reminds me, we need to look into baby proofing this place in a couple months. Well, let me rephrase that. You should look into baby proofing this place. I'd probably a drill a hole in the wrong place." He laughed as I attempted to empty the box out.

"Why are you setting up the stroller right now?" Kurama asked, as I struggled with the contents of the box. Sighing, I stopped and placed my hands on my hips. I looked at his face for a moment until he raised his eyebrows at me.

"I don't know," I admitted. "Just trying to look for something to do, I guess."

"It's lunch time for us," Kurama suggested and it brought a smile to my face. I gave up on the box and followed him into the kitchen. "Do you want a chicken sandwich? I can cook one up for you real quick."

"That sounds amazing," I was suddenly starving. Watching him open a few cupboards he handed me a pack of peanut butter cracker sandwiches. "Oh my god, thank you." Quickly I opened the plastic wrap and started munching, getting crumbs everywhere.

"How'd you sleep last night?" Kurama opened the freezer door to snatch the bag of chicken.

Swallowing I dug through the pack for another sandwich. Why did they make these things so small? "Eh, I had to pee like five times," I shrugged. "But I did have the best dream ever."

He laughed as he dug through another cabinet for a pan to start frying the chicken. "Yeah and what was that?"

"I was drinking the best iced coffee in the world while playing with some adorable kittens," I felt the pout in my face before I knew it. If only my dream had been true. "They were so cute and fluffy."

"There is a place in Japan where you pay to drink tea and play with cats," Kurama glanced back at my amazed expression.

"Can we go there someday?" I asked, letting the excitement come through in my voice. "If it's anything like my dream; it will be the best thing in the world." I listened to him laugh again as he placed the chicken in the pan. "Seriously." Turning around, he licked his lips before rounding the corner and taking a seat next to me.

"We'll see."

"But it was the greatest dream ever," I told him and he nodded.

"Did you like your dream?" his question oozed sarcasm and I raised my eyebrows. "I'm having a hard time telling if you like it or not."

"How'd you sleep?" I rolled my eyes as I changed the subject. He sighed and that's when I noticed the strain under his eyes. Reaching up, I rubbed my thumb against his cheek. "What's wrong Kurama? You look so tired."

"It's nothing, really," he said and let me continue to rub my thumb across his skin. It felt so smooth under my touch. I leaned forward a little to bend my elbow while continuing my hand motions. "I will survive. No worries." Pressing my lips together in frustration, I raised my other hand to completely grab his face between my palms and force him to look me in the eyes.

"Tell me."

He was quiet for a moment while I let my pink orbs do the pleading for me. "You snore."

Dropping my hands to my side, I straightened up. "What? No I don't."

"You started snoring a couple days ago," Kurama licked his lips. "And it is so bad. I can hear it from across the apartment enough to keep me awake."

"Seriously?" I asked, not expecting that to be his answer. He nodded and I really pondered the possibility. "I wonder if that's something to do with the pregnancy."

"It is," he sighed. "I looked it up yesterday. I hope it doesn't last too long. I might actually have to buy ear plugs." He stood then to check the chicken and thought more about it.

"That would actually make since then why I've been waking up with a super dry throat this week," I nodded to myself. "I'm sorry Kurama." I stood from my spot as well and came up behind him. Wrapping my arms around his middle, I felt his muscles stiffen momentarily before relaxing in my grip.

"You are awfully affectionate today," he said to me and I shrugged.

"Blame the pregnancy," I said and he laughed.

"You can't always blame your pregnancy, Botan," Kurama told me.

"Fine, blame the fluffy kitties," I rolled my eyes.


	31. Chapter 31

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

**AN: Thank you so much for reviewing Heartluv! I know how snoring goes, but I'm the snoree while my hubby is kept up all night listening to me haha. **

Chapter thirty one

I had to start preparing for things during the second trimester, because the first I was sick and the third I felt bed ridden. It was amazing how much stuff a girl needs for her baby. All my extra money went to preparing for the arrival. Not long into the pregnancy did I feel like I was constantly broke.

* * *

"Kurama, look at this!" I picked up a big teddy bear from the shelf in front of me. Its black fur was soft under my fingers.

I could feel him standing behind me before he even spoke. "We are here to buy things we need, not things we want."

"How do you know the little guy wouldn't need one of these?" I asked tilting my head to the side looking into the big black bead eyes.

"Because it's thirty dollars," Kurama said and I immediately set it back down, patting its head.

"Well, we didn't really need that now, did we?" I said to myself and Kurama gave a light hearted chuckle. "Did you grab diapers already?" I turned around to see him grab our cart. Honestly, it might be a bit childish but every time we went shopping at Target I had to say one thing. Every time…. "Hey Kurama…"

"Yes, Botan?" He looked at me with his eyes slightly narrowed and I could tell he knew it was coming.

I couldn't help but laugh as I spoke. "Did you know, your hair is the same color as the cart?"

He stared at me with a dry expression as I laughed. "No, I hadn't noticed at all. Thank you so much for pointing that out. I will try to remember that."

"Just in case you forget," I waved my hand forward like it was no big deal. "I will remind you next time."

"I really can't express how much I appreciate that," Kurama shook his head to himself and turned the cart down one of the baby isles. "I did grab the diapers already. Did you make a list of everything you got at the shower and everything you still need?"

I nodded digging through my bag for the sheet of printer paper I had scribbled on with my purple marker. Thank goodness for all the baby shower gift cards, Kurama's ten percent off, and my three pay checks this month. Otherwise this shopping trip would not be happening. "I can't believe Yusuke and Keiko got us that nursery chair and ottoman set. That's got to be almost three hundred dollars. I almost can't accept it." He gave me a sly look and I reached out to grab his sleeve. "What?"

"Let's just say they got a really good deal on it," Kurama gave me a small knowing smile as he said that. "Be happy that you have the chair you wanted."

"You helped them out somehow," I accused. "Did you pay for part of it?" He shook his head and I raised my eyebrows. "I found a way to get what you wanted at an affordable price for them. That's all I'm telling you. No, don't pout."

Sighing, I dropped my pout. "I do really like that chair. I mean, come on, the ottoman moves with you. How epic is that?" He laughed as we stopped in front of the new born bibs.

"With all this stuff, we might have to switch rooms," he said glancing at me before returning to gaze at the boys bibs.

I shook my head. "Nah, I'll make it fit. Can you believe that my parents still have my old crib? It's amazing. That thing is serious twenty three years old. Practically ancient. My mom said we just need to buy the mattress pad for it. While I'm thinking about it, I'll be right back." It was weird how excited I felt to be shopping like this for my baby. Somehow it made the situation a little bit more real. Obviously I have the pregnant belly, but still I wasn't holding my child yet. My fingers gripped one of the plastic covered mattresses as I basically skipped back to Kurama. "Found one!" I smiled brightly while setting it in the cart.

"It's really nice of your parents to give you so much," Kurama told me and I shrugged.

"I mean they are my parents," I told him. "I know they won't let me fail." Kurama didn't respond to that and we spent a moment standing in silence staring at the wall. "Did you know Yusuke said he was going to find a shirt for the little guy that said 'shit machine'?"

"I wouldn't put it passed him," Kurama laughed as a big smile broke out on his face. "You said you got a pack and play, right?" I nodded looking down at my list. "Did you still want the sleep and play one?" I stood there, eyes flicking around, searching my brain for what he was referring to. Probably with the dumbest look on my face. "It's right behind you."

"Oh!" I turned around immediately and looked at the boxes along the wall. "Yes, I did want one of those. Would you grab it for me, though?" He nodded and set one in our cart alongside the mattress. "It's weird…"

"What's weird?" Kurama came back to stand next me. I could feel his green eyes searching my serious expression. My eyes were on the boys bibs and clothes. "I can't get my child half of these clothes. 'Daddy's MVP', 'Awesome like Dad,' this one with the dinosaur that says 'Daddy's big guy'."

"You also can't get him the one that says 'best brother ever'," Kurama told me and I looked over at him with a sad smile.

"You know what I mean," I told him, reaching over to hold his hand. Instantly, Kurama intertwined his fingers in between mine.

"If you want to get him those things, then get them. So what if his biological father isn't part of this. You take the role of both parents. You can be daddy too," he shrugged and tried giving me a reassuring smile.

"I can't tell if you're joking right now or not," I said.

"Fine," he laughed. "Look it as he has four amazing fathers."

"Four? Where did they come from?" I gave him a skeptical laugh.

"You have Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, and you have me," Kurama said and I took a sharp breath. "We may not be the father you were thinking of, but this child, all of us will treat this child as if he was our own. Kuwabara even gave you a list of suggested names for both boys and girls at the shower."

I couldn't stop the loud laugh that escaped and almost started crying at what he was saying to me. He sighed lightly and turned to face me directly.

"Buy some of the 'I love dad' clothes," Kurama looked into my eyes, raising his free hand to my shoulder. "If it makes you happy, just buy. Anyone who matters won't think twice about it."


	32. Chapter 32

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: Nope I don't own YYH**

**AN: Oh guys, I love your reviews! This has been a week straight from hell so you guys seriously make it worth getting out of bed in the morning. I can't thank you enough. Ya know, I had the next chapter written and all ready to go, but after work and a ten minute snooze I decided I didn't want that to chapter yet. So I spent part of my dad trying to play catch up for you guys. **

Chapter thirty two

My due date was July fourteenth and the closer I got to it, the further away it really seemed to be.

* * *

"What are you doing?" I looked up from my position on the couch. My butt balanced on the edge of the couch as I tried to keep my back straight. Rubbing my sides, my hands tried to work in the palm full of lotion in to my skin.

"I'm rubbing lotion on my stretch marks," I told him matter-of-factly. "Sorry, you get an eye full of the belly today. I thought you might still sleep for an hour or so."

He shook his head and approached me. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail, I hadn't seen it back like that in a while. Following his movements out of the corner of my eyes, I watched him sit next to me. "They don't look bad at all." I scoffed at him.

"You're joking right?" I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. "I hope they go away after the birth. I know most do at least."

"But they're like a battle scar," Kurama said running a finger along my side where I assumed on mark was at. "It's kind of like 'I came, I fought, and I conquered.' I like them."

"Of course you do," I laughed and rolled my eyes. "By the way, for some reason Koenma told me stay at home tonight. He texted me this morning."

"It's Friday," Kurama pointed out. "Valentine's Day. What? Is he going to work tonight then?"

I giggled then when Kurama suggested that. "Maybe that's it. Maybe he and the wifey got into a fight and he plans on closing. Or he forgot to make reservations and didn't want to admit it so he's going to tell her I called in."

"You are too much," Kurama shook his head as I continued to laugh. I set my bottle down on the table as I rubbed the remaining lotion on my arms until my hands felt semi dry. Turning to look at his face, I analyzed his features for a moment. "What?" he asked as he leaned against the back of the couch with his green tee shirt wrinkled from sleep and his hands on his blue cargo sweats. Reaching over, I let my index finger intertwine with his hair until I located the cloth band in his hair. "Botan, what are you doing?"

My mouth crooked to a smirk as I worked my finger in and tugged gently until it slid free. I watched as the red strands fell from its hold and mentally celebrated. "I like your hair down. It's just so pretty."

"And that's exactly what every guy wants to hear," Kurama said sarcastically. "Now that you're staying home, would you like to do something tonight?"

I paused for a moment thinking about the best response. "You mean…. Like a date?" Instantly I could see his discomfort as he shifted. Scooting back, I let my spine relax against the plush leather couch. "Ok, so no date?"

Still he remained silent. Kurama took a deep breath and raised his arm to lay behind me on the top of the couch. "You really want to go on a date?" he asked for a while and I had to force myself not to answer in less than two seconds.

"I would like that," I said slowly so as not to seem too excited. "Very much."

Again, he was quiet while he thought about the situation at hand. I leaned my head back to rest on his forearm and tilted my head to watch his features while he picked apart things in his brain. It may be odd, but I like watching his face when he was thinking. His eyes would move like he was at a chalkboard hastily scribbling out theories and possibilities. And his jaw would tense and loosen every so often when he'd cross out options or added another one. It did take some time but I was willing to wait.

"Alright," he said and I breathed out softly. "Where would you like to go or what would you like to do?" There was no way I could stop the smile from spreading across my face.

**AN: next chapter….. just you wait….**


	33. Chapter 33

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, but these cheese puffs are yummy**

**AN: please don't die Vanessia! I need you! ps sorry if there are a lot of grammar errors I didn't read over it before submitting... kinda wanted to play Minecraft with the hubby tonight.**

Chapter thirty three

Holidays and me never got a long very well. Not in the past and probably not in the future. But it took me a decent amount of time to figure out that you should only try to remember the good parts of those days. Then again, sometimes those day parts make future moments all the more better.

* * *

Kurama shut the door behind me as we came home from dinner. "I hadn't been to Axel's in years!" I laughed. "Growing up, I used to baby sit for the bartender. I can't believe Rinku is in middle school now." I listened to him chuckle as he took his coat off and placed it in the closet. Biting my lip slightly, I let Kurama help me out of my coat. "Thank you Kurama."

"You are most welcome," I turned to see him smiling at me. Shit, I wanted to kiss that man so bad and I had no doubt it was all over my face. He cleared his throat, making me blink and blush. Nervously, I toed my boots off. "It's still early, did you want to watch a movie?"

"Dinner _and_ a movie? Oh, Kurama, pulling out all the stops now," I laughed but nodded. "Yeah, just let me grab some tums real quick. That chicken was a bit spicier than I had expected."

As I walked toward the bathroom, I heard Kurama call after me, "Did you want a rom-com or did you want something different?"

Shrugging into the mirror, I opened the cabinet to find my secret stash of tums. "It doesn't matter to me, you pick." I snatched the whole bottle and shut the cabinet door. Staring at the mirror for a moment, I smiled to myself. Kurama and I actually went on a real date tonight. We held hands as we walked and shared a dessert. My smile faltered a bit. We did those things normally. How was tonight any different than all the other times we went somewhere together. Was Yusuke right and I just wanted a label? Did labeling what we have all that important?

Sighing I looked at the bottle in my hands. I knew Kurama wasn't seeing anyone. He definitely spent his free time with me. Or Hiei I guess. That still meant he wasn't with another girl.

"Are you ready?" Kurama called and I blinked.

Taking a soothing breath, I watched myself nod. "Yeah, coming!" I painted a smile on my face before returning to the living room. "What'd you pick?" He smiled at me, but didn't answer. Instead he sat on the couch and laid his arm on the back, motioning for me to join him. Suspicion was clear in my eyes as I approached and settled in next to him. Turning forward however, I was happily surprised. "Oh, I haven't seen this movie in years. The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. I didn't know you had this."

He smiled at me. "I don't. It's actually on Netflix," Kurama informed me and I laughed.

"Even better," I told him and I felt his arm slide from the back of the couch to rest on my shoulders. Kurama pressed play with his other hand and I snuggled into his side.

As the movie played it seemed like we just got more and more cozy. My head leaned on to his shoulder at one time and I felt his other hand lay on my thigh to rub tenderly against the denim. This was different than most nights. And I couldn't be happier.

By the time the movie had ended, I wished it could go on forever. The credits rolled and I lifted my head to look at Kurama enough to see him gazing at me. Our faces were so close that it wouldn't take much for me to lift up and kiss him. But I didn't want a recap of last time. "Kurama…" I felt myself whisper and I could feel his chest moving faster, only slightly. It was easy to see he was nervous. "Kiss me."

His body stiffened for a moment and then he pulled back shaking his head. "I can't," he whispered and I'm sure my eyes widened in disbelief.

"Why not?" I asked, louder, shock radiating from my vocal cords.

He sighed loudly and withdrew his both his hands from around me. "It's just not right."

"What's not right?" I asked, completely confused and frustrated. Sometimes he made me want to pull my hair out. "I'm practically begging you to kiss me."

"Yes, I know," Kurama stood up and walked to the sliding glass window to stare outside. I'd gotten used to this, it was something he did when he was thinking. It reminded me of a trapped animal that wants to run outside. "You practically have for months."

"Do you not want to kiss me?" I asked and he turned to look at me with what might have been anger in his eyes.

"Of course I do," he sighed in exasperation before rubbing his hands over his face. "But it wouldn't be right."

"I am not following you," I pushed my bangs behind my ears, trying to calm myself.

"Botan you…" he licked his lips before motioning to me. "You're pregnant."

"…Yeah. I know."

"No," he shook his head like that wasn't what he meant. Now I was starting to understand why he took so long to collect his thoughts. "I don't want to be that guy you hook up with when you're pregnant and then when your hormones are back to normal, you realize you really don't care for."

"I wouldn't do that," I almost laughed at his words.

"Or pick me as a rebound after a bad relationship?" Kurama raised his eyebrows. "I won't be someone's rebound either."

I knew I was letting his words affect negatively. Frustration was clogging my throat and blurring my eyes. "You are not a rebound, Kurama."

"I'm not?" He asked and it felt more like an accusation. "So that first day when I walked into Grounds-"

"Kurama, stop," I pleaded and fought against my emotions.

"- you weren't still hung up on your ex?" Kurama asked. "For good or bad reasons, doesn't matter. Or when you asked to move in with me? That wasn't because of me at all. You were looking for an escape from your problems and I was just convenient, right?"

"It's not like that," I shook my head and felt the tears sitting on the brim, looking over the edge, judging the distance to the ground. "I do like you. You aren't a rebound at all. Even if it may have started that way, it's not like that anymore."

"I don't want to take advantage of your weakened state, Botan," Kurama shook his head. "Even if you don't see me as a rebound now, when the baby is born, what's to say you don't realize then that I was all along?"

"I'm over him, Kurama," I whispered as a few jumpers fell to the denim below.

"Are you?" he asked and I took a deep breath trying to steady my heart beat. "It took me two years to get over my ex after she left me. The two of you were only over a short time before you and I met."

"Kurama," I whispered. "Please stop. He has nothing to do with us."

"I want to believe you," he whispered back and I looked up into his eyes and saw the same trauma there that I knew was in mine. It had been a long time since I'd seen a man cry and it wasn't something that I wanted to relive. "But if I choose wrong, I don't want to…. I can't be the guy who takes advantage of a pregnant woman."

I was silent as I let a sob drop my head down and tears fall free. "I want to be with you…"

He took a deep breath and raised one hand to rub the crooks of his nose. "I want to be with you too, Botan. I just…" he took a shaky breath this time. "I just don't know if I can without..." He paused and I felt my heart break a little bit. "Without feeling right about it."

"Just let me prove to you that this is real," I raised my head and tried to make eye contact but he was shaking his head. "Kurama?!"

"Botan…" he whispered and licked his lips. "I don't know. I'm sorry…" With that he walked away and if I didn't know better I'd say I wasn't the only one completely broken inside.


	34. Chapter 34

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

**AN: Oh my, I love you guys who reviewed! Smexy Kitten (I always look forward to your messages, of all sorts), Vanessia (lets see if I can bring you back life with some of the future chapters), Heartluv (I cannot get enough of your enthusiasm!). All of you guys push me to keep writing and if it weren't for you guys who knows where this story would be at. So not only am I thanking you (my husband as well, he knows this story is special to me), but everyone else should as well. **

Chapter thirty four

There was a time period where I felt like I was back at school. I was all alone and this time it was completely my fault. Just like school, I spent the majority of my time lying in bed staring at the wall. Then when the time was right, I'd force myself out of bed and be barely a meat sack at work. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw a hollowed out soul that was slowly dying. The only difference this time was that I had a baby to live for and had to keep pushing forward.

* * *

"Are you listening to Taylor Swift right now?" I heard her voice and didn't even roll over to look at my bedroom door.

"Yeah," I told her with little emotion in my voice. What was the point when my emotions were too busy trying to figure out how to piece my heart back together?

The bed dipped behind me and I swallowed. "What is wrong? Kurama barely looked at me when he let me in and now you are listening to 'All too Well' and 'Almost Do.' Something's up." I didn't feel like responding to that because I knew it would just make me feel worse. So I shrugged. "Do you want to get some ice cream?" Raising my eyebrows even though I knew she couldn't see them, I thought about that for a moment. It was hard to say no to ice cream. "I know you can't deny that. Especially if I say I'll treat you to Cold Stone."

"Will you help me up?" I asked and she stood immediately to round the bed. She grabbed my hands and pulled me to a standing position. "Let's do this."

"You look like shit," she told me lightheartedly. I rolled my eyes.

"I feel like shit," I told her. On so many levels that was true. My head hurt, my heart hurt, my stomach felt funky the last few days, and my back felt broken.

"Let's try to fix that," She smiled at me as we left my room. "I'll grab your coat if you wanna stick your feet in your boots." Without a word, I did as she said. Ears straining to try and hear what Kurama was up to, I tilted my head while I stood in the hall to see if I could catch a glimpse of his red hair. "He's not here anymore."

Her voice was quiet and had a serious edge to it. Glancing at her, I saw her face no longer had that worrisome smile. "What do you mean?"

"When he let me in, Kurama was on his way out," Keiko told me and I sighed.

"He doesn't work today," my forehead scrunched in way I hadn't been used to in a long time.

"I know he's not with the guys tonight," Keiko shrugged. "Maybe one of his work friends?"

"Yeah, it could be Yomi," I said quietly.

"Do you still want ice cream?" Keiko asked holding up my coat and I looked at her honestly and shook my head. "That's ok, we don't need to go out. Why don't you just take your boots off and we'll sit on the couch?" I nodded as I felt the muscles in my face tense up in preparation for the tears that didn't come. Sighing, I took my boots back off and dragged myself to the couch.

"I hate feeling like this," I mumbled and looked at the couch. My eyes glared at the couch because I couldn't even face plant it like I would have done had I not been pregnant.

"It's been a little over a week since you guys had that talk," Keiko said and I gave her my best 'I'm listening' gaze while I sat down. "Have you even seen him or talked to him since then?"

"No," I shook my head. "We have kind of been avoiding each other."

"Yeah?" she came to sit next to me. "Have you been eating regularly?" I nodded. "Putting lotion on the stretch marks?" I shook my head. "That's ok. Not a big deal. I saw you have a changing table in your room now. That's new right?"

"Yeah, my parents brought that over a couple weeks ago," I told her. "Shortly before valentines day. I'm accumulating more stuff the further along I get."

"You're passed the twenty week mark now," Keiko tried to give a happy smile. "Over half way there!"

"Yeah I suppose so," I nodded.

"Stop being so gloomy, Botan," Keiko snapped and I looked into her hard eyes. "You just need to talk to Kurama about this. March is almost here and before you know it, spring will be knocking at your door. Time flies by quick, don't waste it moping."

"I miss him so much," I admitted and felt the wave of longing hit me.

"Then deal with it," Keiko shook her head. "Jeeze Botan, you can't just let life slap you in the face all the time. You have a baby now. Take charge of what you want. And if Kurama is someone you want in your life than find a way for him to be there. Don't let this," she motioned to me as a whole with a disgusted expression, "take advantage of you."

"Oh my god," my hand went to my stomach as Keiko became on high alert.

"What?" Keiko asked, her back straightening and eyes wide.

My mouth hung open as I tried to figure out how to describe what I was feeling. "It's like… popcorn in my stomach."

She was quiet for a second before her laugh sounded and it was the first time I had smiled in days. "Your baby boy is moving."

This time when the tears threatened, I had a few happy ones roll down my cheeks. It was such a weird sensation and if I hadn't really thought about it, I probably would have passed it off as something else. But it was still there and I knew it was him moving around. And there was one person I wish could be here with me to experience this. He should be here right now; not out getting drinks with a coworker in hopes of ignoring me.


	35. Chapter 35

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: don't own YYH**

**AN: I seriously wrote this chapter last week and it just didn't feel right to post it when I was originally going to so I held off. But now, it feels right. **

Chapter thirty five

Someone once told me: Sometimes things have to go terribly wrong in order for them to go right.

* * *

When I woke up one Sunday morning, the room was pitch black. That was very unusual for me and it didn't take long before my anxiety started to spike. Swallowing I lay in bed staring at the wall. I barely was able to make out the surrounding features of my room. While I lay there, however, my breathing became louder and I knew there was no way I would be able to fall asleep. Sitting up, I glanced around from my clock and found no lights on at all, even from the digital alarm.

A howling wind shook my window and I took a huge breath, trying to calm my nerves. Licking my lips, I threw back my covers. The floor was cold under my bare feet as I stood up. My ears were on full alert as I tip toed out my door and down the hall passed the kitchen. Kurama's door was a jar and I pushed it open with the tips of my fingers.

His room was cast in darkness as well and I strained to see where the bed was located. Sucking in a breath again, I took slow steps until I found his mattress. I paused momentarily debating my options. Shaking my head, I moved forward, sitting on the edge, where the cover had been pulled back.

"Kurama?" I whispered grabbing the edge of the comforter with one hand. Sliding my feet underneath I laid down next to the red haired man. His sharp intake of breath broke the silence in the room.

"Botan?" he asked with worry and sleep engraved in his voice. "What's going on?"

"The power went out," I told him and I had no doubt he was confused. "Is it alright if I sleep here tonight?"

He was silent for a moment, probably trying to figure what the hell I was talking about. Or deciding if it was a good idea to let me this close to him. "Yeah, that's ok." His voice with light and I wished I could see his face.

I sighed and pulled the blanket up to my shoulders and tried shutting my eyes. But my nerves were on high alert mode and I felt like my night was shot. Glancing at where I knew Kurama lay next to me, I weighed out my options.

"Fuck it," I whispered under my breath.

"Hmmm?" I heard the vocal vibration moments before I scooted the short distance between us and snuggled into the red haired man. His body completely stiffened instantly. "Botan?"

"I'm scared," I admitted and he let out a small breath.

"What's wrong?" he asked as I felt his hand run over my arm tenderly.

"Can you just hold me?" I asked letting my fright leak into my voice even more.

"Turn on to your side, you shouldn't sleep on your back," Kurama said and I did as he asked, blinking a few times. I felt the bed shift as he scooted behind me. One hand went around my waist as the other snaked under my neck. "What's wrong, Botan?"

"I may be afraid of the dark," I told him quietly. Swallowing through the lump in my throat that wouldn't go away, I reveled in the feel of his chest against my back. It felt nice to have him lay next to me. "When I lived in St Cloud, my ex would throw parties a lot. I worked two jobs while being a full time student and had to go to bed at a decent time most nights for work in the morning. Opposite schedule than I have now," I rolled my eyes at that. "There were several occasions when people would wonder into our room when he was enjoying himself with his friends. I woke up once to a man standing over me." I felt his hand on my hip tense up.

"You're joking," he whispered, but his tone said that he believed me.

"No," I shook my head and pulled on his arms so that he would hold me a bit tighter. "The man never did anything to me, but it still scared me senseless. And when I had told my boyfriend he didn't really care. He just shrugged it off."

"Botan, I'm really sorry," Kurama whispered into my hair.

"I don't like the dark because you never know who's lurking in the shadows," I breathed. "There had been times where I've come out of the room in the morning for work and there would be people asleep in our living room. And when I'd ask him about it, he would laugh and say he had no idea who they were or where they came from."

"Is that why you always sleep with the TV on?" Kurama asked and I nodded.

"It's pretty much my night light."

He sighed and I felt him kiss my shoulder. "And that's why you check the door several times before bed to make sure it's locked?" I nodded again. "Don't worry, Botan. I won't let anything bad happen to you."

"Thank you, Kurama," I whispered and turned slightly on my back to look into his eyes. I was happy that at this close of a distance I could see the green through the dark. "You make me feel safe." He was so close that I could feel his breath on my lips. Watching his face, I saw his eyes flicker down at my lips for a moment and I didn't want to miss this chance.

Moving the few inches, I brought my lips up to his and pressed tenderly. Unlike last time, I held my mouth against his longer. However, similar to last time, his lips went still under mine. Swallowing nervously, this time it wasn't because of the dark. This time it was nerves of a different kind.

"Kurama?" I whispered while trying to read his face. His lips were so soft and warm that I wished he would kiss me back so I could feel the sensation they brought. Blinking, I watched his face for any emotion but, he seemed to have wiped it so I couldn't read it. "I'm sorry, Kurama."

"Botan," Kurama said so softly, it could have been the wind that pounded against the windows. "You make it so hard for me to be an up standing guy."

"Maybe I don't want you to be." I whispered back.

He shook his head then and I felt the arm under my neck bend to pull me closer to him until his lips pressed against mine. Joy spread through my body as I felt his lips on mine again. This time, he was the one who had kissed me and I couldn't stop the excitement from pulsing through my veins. His lips moved against mine tenderly and I felt my body melt into his. Both my arms rose up to wrap around his neck as we lay in his bed.

There was no way I wanted to let this guy go now that I had him kissing me like I was his prized possession. He was so gentle and sweet, it made me forget about everything but us in that moment. I didn't want this night to end anymore. All I wanted was to stay in his arms.


	36. Chapter 36

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: Don't own YYH**

**AN: Shout out to two awesome people! **

**Heartluv: honestly... I want Kurama to kiss me during every moment (wink) haha**

**Smexy Kitten: I adore you haha you are so optimistic, but when is life ever as good as you think it's going to be. I guess that's why human beings hope and dream. Just you wait to see what happens next. dun dun dun! **

Chapter thirty six

There are parts of my life I wish I could forget and then are the parts that I hope I remember forever. Like the color of Kurama's hair when the sun hit it in the morning. Or the color of your eyes when you tell me you love me. Those are good memories. But then there's the feeling of lying bruised and naked on the floor or fear of if today was the day I was going to die. Those are the bad ones.

* * *

Taking in a deep breath, I let the sun caress my face. I was so warm and comfortable that I really didn't want to move. That's when I noticed the arm around my waist. Subconsciously my body stiffened until I remembered last night. It really hadn't been the weirdest dream; it had been real. Licking my lips nervously, I rolled onto my back to look over and see the man I'd been missing for two weeks. A smile broke out on my face as I saw him sleeping with his hair in his face and mouth relaxed and slightly open.

One hand reached over to gently pull the hair off his face so I could see him clearly. Shit, I had missed him like crazy. This still felt surreal. If I was here in his bed that meant that last night, he had kissed me when I crawled into bed with him. The hand that touched his hair, rand lightly over his cheek to feel the smooth skin there.

I saw him fill his lungs with a large breath before his eyes fluttered open. His green eyes met mine before I let the smile grow on my face grow.

"Good morning," I whispered to him and he slowly blinked several times. Leaning forward I laid a soft kiss to his lips. I almost expected him to pull away but he didn't. Instead, his arm tightened on my waist as his lips pressed back. This was definitely a good morning already. His fingers softly gripped my hip as if I would run away and his mouth tenderly moved against mine.

I had never been kissed like this before and damn did it feel good. My hand slid into his hair as I held his head to mine. He was so gentle like I was a china doll that he couldn't afford to lose. Breaking apart for air, his other hand came up to run his thumb over my cheek and his touch sent sparks down my body.

"I've missed you so much," I whispered against his lips. There was no way I was letting him get too far from me now that I had him kissing me. That's when gave me a fleeting kiss, like he could read my mind.

"I've missed you as well," he told me and I smiled against his mouth when he kissed me again.

"Please tell me you won't take this all back when I leave your bed," I said and felt my mouth sag to a frown. Shaking his head, he made a point of kissing me for longer than two seconds this time. I was melting against him. His lips were practically massaging mine in open mouth kisses.

Pulling back, he said, "I almost don't want to let you leave my bed." I smiled at that and if it weren't so important to me, I might have laughed. "But no, I wouldn't dream of taking this back. Botan, these last two weeks I have been miserable-"

"Shhh," I whispered and kissed him lightly. I felt his body sigh as he complied. Then he pulled back and licked his lips.

"I need to tell you though," he breathed and I swallowed. Did I want him to say it? It was hard enough to be reminded of the torment both of us went through by the pain in my chest. Now he wanted to add another verse to that tragedy. "Botan, after valentines day… after we stopped talking to each other. I realized something." Biting my bottom lip, I listened to every word with so much hope that I felt dizzy from it. "I realized that even if I am a rebound-"

"You aren't a rebound," I said, letting my lip fall free.

"Even if I am a rebound," he said again. "At least I'd still be with you. I have gone these last few weeks without you and I don't want to go through that again."

I tried not to cry, really I did. However, I didn't succeed as tears welled up in my eyes and I pushed myself the inch forward to connect my lips to his. This time he let me take charge and I wrapped my arms around his neck with only slight struggling. Pressing my body fully against his, I moved my mouth against his until I lightly trailed my tongue along his lower lip. It didn't take long for him to respond. That was until the fluttering started.

He practically jumped back a foot. "What was that?"

A small laugh came from my lips. "That was the baby. He kicked you."

"What?" Kurama asked, eyebrows scrunching together. "When did he start moving like that?"

"Last week," I told him softly and I saw his face drop. "When Keiko came over was the first time I really realized it."

He sighed and raised his hand from my hip to my face. "I am so sorry I wasn't here for it. I should have been."

"Let's not get hung up on the past few weeks, Kurama," I told him and he gave me a soft smile and a quick kiss.

"Do you want me to make you breakfast?" he asked and I nodded.

"Quick question," I said as I watched him roll to his side of the bed and sit up before glancing over his shoulder at me. "Does this mean I can change my facebook relationship status?"

He laughed and stood up then, but didn't respond.

"Can I take that as a yes?"


	37. Chapter 37

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

**AN: I love to write when I get home from work. A nice day, beer in my hand, and I grab the laptop and head for the deck. Forcing the neighbors to listen to my music and my tone deaf voice, that's how I write. **

Chapter thirty seven

It was hard avoiding people in my hometown. Everyone had questions and when they didn't get them answered, they made up their own. After a while it made things difficult for me to still go out with my head held up high. However, I knew Kurama and my friends had my back when times called for it.

* * *

I sat next to Yusuke at the Eden Prairie mall in their food court. It was really nice during the school year. That meant during the day I could shop at my own pace and eat my lunch by the fireplace. There were no children I had to work around in the dressing rooms or worry they would steal the comfy chair when I went to throw my trash away.

Today, Keiko had to help her dad with work, so naturally the next person in line was Yusuke. "Couldn't you have gone tomorrow or something when Kurama wasn't working?"

Tapping my fingers against my bottom lip as if I were actually thinking about my response, I shook my head. "No. Plus this way, you get to see the baby."

"Botan, he's not even born yet," Yusuke rolled his eyes as he tossed a few more fries in his mouth.

"So that means you spend more time with me," I laughed. "I don't see the problem, here."

"We are shopping…"

"Yeah," I nodded like I didn't hear the annoyance in his voice. "I need shoes. My feet have gotten bigger. Stupid hormones and swelling muscles."

"All I just heard was: Bitch, bitch, bitch. Which sounds awfully similar to: grumble, grumble, grumble. However there is difference," Yusuke finished his fries and rubbed his hands on his jeans.

"I'm not even going to ask what the difference is," I laughed. "Are you ready to try Kohl's for shoes?"

He moaned but stood up. "How about you go to Kohl's and I swing through Games by James to check out the new Magic block."

"Seriously?" I raised my eyebrows as I pushed myself up. "You're still playing that card game?"

"Fuck yeah I am," he looked at me like I was out of my mind and I just shook my head.

"Alright, let's go," I shrugged and we headed to the lower level. Waving goodbye to Yusuke, I found myself in the shoe section of Kohl's. Why is it that most of women shoes are bright colors? I wanted something that was comfortable and cute but not stick-out-ish. Pretty sure my belly does enough of that for my liking.

"Well, if it isn't Botan," my back went straight at the voice behind. If I could have just shank to a mouse and found a hole to hide in, that would be me right now. Turning around with a fake smile on my face, I looked up at the man. He was a good foot taller than me and I was tall for a woman. Wow, he'd definitely gained weight since high school.

"Genbu," I said and instantly my nose went on full alert at the stench wafting from him body. Good thing it wasn't during my morning sickness otherwise I'd be blowing chunks on the floor at our feet. "It's been a long time."

"Five years," he nodded but his eyes were on my belly. It made me want to cross my arms in front of myself to hide my baby. "I'd heard you were back in town."

"Yep," nodding I shifted uncomfortably. He really was a big guy. I felt like a child compared to his size. Genbu had always been big, but now he was tall, broad, and easily four hundred pounds. "It's been a few months now."

"You have been the talk of the town," he stepped closer and I tried not to gag. But when his hand reached out and rubbed my belly, I felt like my world was crumbling. "Especially because of the baby. Everyone wonders who the father is. And if this is why your back. Did the little princess come back to mommy and daddy after spreading her legs too much?"

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Yusuke appeared and Genbu dropped his hand. "Don't touch her with your grimy hands, Genbu."

"Yusuke," Genbu grumbled. I sighed as Yusuke walked up and glared at the man in front of me. "I should have known you were here with her. We were just getting reacquainted."

"Yeah? Reacquainted?" Yusuke laughed and got closer to him. "How would you like it if I rubbed your belly as I reacquainted my fist with your face?"

"Fuck Yusuke," Genbu laughed. "You really think you can still beat the shit out of me?"

"I know I can," Yusuke then stopped and leaned backwards with a look on his face that I hadn't seen in a long time. That's when I knew he was up to something. "But I don't have to."

"What are you babbling about now Urameshi?" Genbu raised his eyebrows, taunting Yusuke.

"Your boss is her boyfriend," Yusuke smirked when Genbu sucked in a sharp breath. "Imagine how much hell he can cause for you, once he finds out what you said to his girl."

Holding up his hands, Genbu stepped back. "You win Yusuke. I'm leaving."

"Nice seeing you again Botan," he turned, shaking his head, and walked away.

Sighing, I rubbed my belly tenderly. "Thanks Yusuke, he's always been such a creep." I felt like I could breathe again in more ways than one. "Jeeze he smelled bad."

"What do you expect when he all he does on overnights is work on crushing cardboard and making sure the trash compactor doesn't overflow," Yusuke shrugged. "He spends his work day with trash so he started smelling like it after a while. "

"I can't believe he works at Target," I admitted. "I thought he was supposed to be a Future Farmer of America or something."

We walked down one of the shoe aisles as we talked. Stopping to look at a pair of black Nike tennis shoes, I listened to Yusuke talk. "He was an FFA member in high school. Then he went downhill from there. Guess he couldn't cut it as a farmer with his weight and drinking growing. Can't be a farmer if you can't plant your crops, can you?"

I laughed and shook my head. "Guess not." Looking at the size boxes, I grabbed one. "Help me try these on Yusuke."

"Serious question for you now," Yusuke took the box from my hands as I sat down. Looking up at him expectantly, he continued, "Has Kurama gotten used to your smelly ass farts?"

"That's not a serious question Yusuke," I laughed. "But I blame it on the baby when one slips out."

"You really blame the baby for that? Awful, Botan," Yusuke chuckled up and bent down to help me put the shoes on. "Someday I'm gonna tell your kid, you blamed your gas on him."

"You wouldn't dare!"


	38. Chapter 38

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, but I can say that a lot of people would be happy if I did**

**AN: hey guys, two things**

**ONE: I've been working shanky shifts at work and haven't had much time to sleep. But this is my first day back on a normal schedule, so I'm playing a catch up now. Normally I write a few chapters a head so when things like this happen, I can still update every day. This last work week however proved to kick my ass. I ran out of chapters. But before I head to work today, I brought my laptop to perkins and am gonna write until I have to leave for work. Let's see if I can make it up to you guys. **

**TWO: this chapter goes out to FIRESTORM1991. I love hearing how my story connects with you guys. It seriously makes a bad day better. This story is important to me and my goal is to make it important to others. I love that there are so many that can feel like they can connect with the characters and it's almost real for them. No joke, review like that push me to keep going, it's inspiring really.**

Chapter thirty eight

It's amazing to think about pregnancy brain as an actual symptom. I have always been the forgetful type of person but sometimes I got to the extreme when I was with child. Koenma once told me that he found the work phone in the freezer when he opened the following day. Kurama said that he'd find all my tips in the washing machine, still in my tip bag.

* * *

I stood next to the open door of my white Taurus with my hands supporting the small of my back. When I sighed, the white puff followed. "I thought it was supposed to get warmer."

Grunting from the driver seat, my father messed with my keys. Turning in the ignition we listed to my car sputter before dying. "It did get warmer. For two days we were above freezing."

"Yeah, but it's the middle of March," I grumbled. "High school kids are preparing for spring break."

"Botan, you've lived in this state your whole life," he said, barely sparing me a glance. "Spring is never here until at least April. In the last five years, we haven't even had a spring." Shrugging, I decided not respond to that. "Why are you asking about spring?" He stopped messing with the ignition to look over at me. "Did you put ethanol gas in your tank already?"

Shuffling my sore feet I didn't look at him. "I thought it was going to warm up."

He heaved a big sigh before shaking his head and scooting out of the seat to stand in front of me. "Then there's nothing wrong with your car, Botan. Just something wrong with you. Your gas is frozen."

My lips pressed together tighter. Why did I listen to my mom about asking my dad for help, again?

"Wait until the snows gone to put ethanol in your car," he shook his head and grumbled to himself for a moment. "You could have just told me that from the beginning and I wouldn't have messed around with the starter."

"I didn't realize that that was the issue," I said quietly taking the keys he handed to me. "What am I supposed to do with my car"

"When it warms up, see if Kurama will let you park in the underground garage until you fill up with regular gas," he told me. "But you'll have to wait for a warm day to start your car. Keep trying to periodically. It'll start eventually."

"Ok," I nodded biting my bottom lip.

"I'll drive you to work, but I won't pick you up tonight," he said with tension in his voice. "Let's go. I want to get home while the sun is still up."

Nodding, I followed him to his white 1970 international truck. I pulled the doors open and slowly pulled myself up to the green seats. "Is this safe to be in while I'm pregnant?"

"What do you mean?" my dad's forehead scrunched together as he threw himself into the driver side. "I've had this truck forever. Your mother rode in it when she was pregnant and you're not completely fucked up."

I felt it was best not to respond as I searched for the bench seat belt. Pulling it over my lap, I slide the bulky lock together and braced my arms on either side of my body. He started the truck and the smell of the gas hit me harder than I remember it doing as a child. Thankfully it was a short drive to work otherwise I would have rather called a cab. The truck bounced me up and down with every move and every time he shifted the gear stick I felt like the truck just might die before we got there.

My heart beat slowed down from the million mile an hour race in my chest the moment I could see the coffee shop. Breathing a few times to calm my nerves, I tried to patiently wait for my dad to come to a complete stop before struggling to unbuckle the seat belt and throwing the old metal door open. Slowly, I pushed legs in front of me while I slid out of the cab of the truck.

"How are you getting home tonight?" my dad asked. "You aren't going to call that roommate of yours are you?"

"I thought you liked Kurama?" I asked turning around to grab my bag. The only person my dad has ever liked was the one person no one should, but that was something we kept under the table.

He paused for a moment before responding. My hand held the door of the truck open waiting for him to speak. "I just don't like you living with a boy you hardly know when you're in this … position."

Tensing up, I pressed my lips together again. He made me so on edge all the time. Obviously my mother hadn't told him that Kurama and I had started dating. "Don't worry about it so much. Kurama is a good man."

"Be careful," my dad said and I raised my eyebrows.

"Who are you and what have you done with my father?" I asked tilting my head to the side.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he pressed his back into the seat.

"Nothing," I shook my head. "I have to get to work dad. Thanks for helping me out today. I'll call Yusuke to pick me up later."

He gave me an odd look. "That's one boy I've never liked. He's going nowhere. You shouldn't be around him. He'll just drag you and the baby down with him. I'd rather you call your mom to come get you than him."

"Bye dad," I shut the door and turned around trying to control anger.


	39. Chapter 39

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

Chapter thirty nine

It was difficult for me to confront my issues. But the longer I spent trying to hide my past the harder it became to cover it up. After a while, I knew that the truth would come out. The only problem I had with that seemed to be I couldn't look into the heart of my torment without getting burned again.

* * *

I sat at the breakfast bar looking out our balcony window at the blue sky. My phone was in between my forearms that rested against the granite. Breathing slowly I sat there in complete silence hoping the ceiling would suddenly fall on top of me.

"Good morning," Kurama appeared from the doorway of his room with a smile on his face. We had opted to stay in our own rooms now that we were dating. I felt it was too soon to spend every night together and I needed all the sleep I could get with the baby keeping me awake most nights.

"Kurama, it's one in the afternoon," I smiled lightly at him as he took the closest stool.

"Yes," he nodded with a light chuckle. "That's still morning to me."

Rolling my eyes I looked down at the dark screen on my phone. Sucking in a small breath, my mouth sagged a bit as I looked at my reflection.

"What's wrong?" he reached over to clasp my hand in his. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah," I said automatically. Then I paused. "No, no I'm not." Licking my suddenly dry lips, I lifted my eyes to see the concern in the green orbs. "I got a phone call today from my old landlord in St. Cloud. She needs me to go in and talk to her about last year's rent. So I can get the renters credit in august."

He nodded slowly, processing what I said. "You don't want to go, do you?"

"No," I shook my head before exhaling. "I didn't want to take a chance seeing my ex. Especially like this."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Kurama asked, tightening his grip slightly on my hand, to show me that he was there for me. "We can go up tomorrow if you would like. It's only an hour drive."

I thought about it for a moment before nodding.

Kurama and I stood on the curb of Third Street outside of my old apartment building.

"She was nice," Kurama told me as I pushed the straps of my bag on my shoulder.

"Yeah," I nodded slightly. "She definitely gives you the grandma feeling when you talk to her."

"She really likes you," he smiled.

"It's because I grew up in the town her daughter now lives in," I laughed at him, but my nerves were in every note. He watched me rotate my shoulders nervously for a moment until I met his gaze. "What?"

"He isn't here," Kurama told me and I sighed.

"Yeah, but the landlord said he hasn't shown up yet, so he could be here any moment," I told him licking my lips nervously. My eyes scanned the horizon just in case he might appear.

"Botan," Kurama stepped into my eye sight so I continued to look at his face. "Why don't we go grab lunch and then head home?"

His voice calmed me enough to listen to his words. "Alright. What would you want to get?"

"What is one of your favorite places up here?" Kurama reached out and lightly touched my hand. "Somewhere we don't have back in home."

I thought about this for a moment before a soft smile played with the corners of my lips. "The Mongolian grill up here, Mongo's, is great."

"Then let's go," I let him lead me back to his green Toyota. Sitting down I glanced up at the small brick building where our room used to be. That was where all the trauma happened. In that small one bedroom apartment that we paid five hundred for. I paid two-fifty a month for six months to be abused. And this was the scene of the crime.

Gulping I watched the blinds of the apartment stand still. Almost expecting him to still be there, watching my every movement from the second story window. Those calculating eyes spying on me, always one step ahead of me.

"Botan?" I blinked and looked at Kurama with raised eyebrows. "Do you want to direct me there?"

"Oh, sorry," I gave him a sideways tilt of my lips with my apology. "Just go down Division Street up here. You will follow that all the way there. It's the turn before Barnes and Noble and the Waite Park Mall."

He nodded and I pointed to the turn on to Division. St Cloud was on spring break, so the town was fairly empty. There were less cars than normal and not as many people on the streets. "You used to work around here, didn't you?"

"Oh, yeah," I gave a small smile then. "I worked over there in Herberger's unloading trucks in the morning. It was actually kind of a fun job working with the people there. We would be at work by five in the morning and I could walk from my apartment. There was never a need for a car when I lived up here."

"You said you'd had two jobs, right?" Kurama asked as he stopped at a red light. Glancing out the window I looked at the giant billboard for some event shop that was similar to a local Party City. It hadn't changed since the day I'd moved up here at eighteen.

"Yep," I told him. "I also worked on St Germain, back there, at a local game shop. That's how Yusuke and Kuwabara got into Magic the Gathering, actually. When they would come up to visit me, the two of them would play with some of the regulars at the shop."

"Wait, you worked at a legit game shop? Not a Game by James place, but a table top, role playing, hardcore store?" Kurama looked at me with shock painted across his face. "That is hot."

I laughed at his words and to my own amazement, I realized that I felt relaxed again. Somehow he made me forget why I was so nervous to be back in this town. "I worked there part time. But I really didn't understand half the games. When the owner interviewed me, he asked what games I played and I told him the basics." I chuckled at that. "He asked me to clarify what I meant. I remember telling him Uno, Life, Monopoly, Sorry, and I had enjoyed Settlers but had only played it once."

"Well those are definitely the basics," Kurama shook his head in disbelief. "I'm struggling to see you in a game shop."

"I walked by the window and saw a help wanted sign and I knew I needed another job," I shrugged. "He hired me because I wasn't a hardcore gamer. That's what he told me. Someone who wouldn't spend their time on the clock playing all the games."

"Maybe we can swing through sometime and you can show me the shop," he said and I feel like he would have winked had I been looking at him. But my eyes were on the stores we passed.

"I don't think I can ever step foot in there again though," I told him with a low note in my voice. "I loved working there. I loved the regulars that would come in. But that's where I met my ex. He was a regular and I doubt my leaving stopped him from going there. It's too risky for me."

"Maybe someday we can go," Kurama suggested.

"Maybe…"


	40. Chapter 40

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH. But I do own the ideas of the story!**

**AN: to some older readers this chappie will seem familiar. If you read my old discontinued story from years ago now that I deleted, it's very close. But like I said in chapter one, I wanted to keep parts of that Botan alive in this story. Back then, writing this was way too soon and way too hard for me, but now I think I'm ready to touch on the topic. Here's to wishing me luck from here on out! I'm gonna really need all the support I can get. My husband's been brought up to speed, we'll see if he can help me through this another time. Love that man. He brought me home ice cream today as preparation material haha**

Chapter forty

My mom suggested that I looked into therapy before the baby came. She said that it might help me try to deal with all my pent up anxiety. Supposedly that's an issue after the birth of a baby and it would be better if I were to learn how to deal with it now than after the baby is born. At least I'd be prepared.

* * *

I don't know how it started. All I knew was that I didn't want it stop any time soon. His lips were on mine, tenderly kissing away my tension. Slipping through my hair to cup the back of my head, his hands cradled me to him. His tongue was against mine and it was impossible for me to stop my hands from gripping the front of his yellow polo shirt. I've never had someone hold me like he was at this moment. Kurama made me feel like I was the most fragile thing on this Earth and he'd do anything to keep me from breaking.

Too bad he didn't see the cracks before touching me though. I felt his hands move from my hair and down the back of my neck to gently hold the junction of my head and neck. The moment his thumb touched the front of my neck, however, it was too late. I threw my head back with a loud gasp as my hands pushed him off me.

Briefly I saw his wide eyes before mine involuntarily closed and I wrapped my hands protectively around my neck. The breath in my lungs stung my insides. In my head, I knew it was Kurama in front of me, kissing me. But my body reacted as if it were _him_ touching me. It made me feel dirty in so many ways.

"Botan?" Kurama whispered. I felt his hand lay softly on my knee and I felt bad for flinching, but his hand didn't dart away. Instead it rubbed tenderly against the fabric of my pants.

"I'm sorry, Kurama," I said after a moment of deep breathing. "I didn't mean….I didn't…" I stopped trying to talk. My lips formed an 'O' shape and sucked in short breaths.

"It's alright," he said quietly and I shook my head.

"No, it's not," I told him still holding my neck. "I know it's you."

"Of course it's me," he seemed confused and I didn't blame him. I'm sure he hadn't intended to make out with a crazy person today.

"He just used to do things to me," I heard my own voice shake.

"What do you mean?" his voice was low but the concern was clear.

"There were times…" I held my breath in hopes it would make the sting in my eyes go away.

I felt his hand lightly squeeze my thigh. "We don't need to talk about this." Shaking my head, I looked at my lap. "Please don't push yourself if you aren't ready."

His polite concern made me lower my hands slowly to my lap. The breaths I took felt empty and fake, as if I were still struggling to breathe. "My ex…. He liked…" Swallowing, I lifted my eyes to the ceiling. "I don't even know how to explain it, Kurama. He was brutal to me. But I let him."

"Don't blame yourself," Kurama told me quickly.

"I don't know how not to," I said honestly. "I let him take control of me worse than if I was a sex slave. That would have probably been better than what I went through. At least then there would have been a safe word."

I saw his face harder and his shoulders slump. No words left his tense lips though. One palm ran over my face as I tried not look at his face. That would just make this so much more difficult.

"Kurama, there was just so much he did to me in the time span I was with him," I breathed out. "I was so inexperienced sexually before him. And now …. Now I feel like I'll never be the same again." My head fell to the back on the leather couch. "I wish I was a normal girl for you."

"You are a normal girl, Botan," he whispered and reached for my hand. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him raise it to his lips and set a gentle kiss to my palm. It brought a small smile to my face, one that felt slightly out of place. "Just because you went through a traumatic event doesn't make you abnormal. I still look at you the same way. A beautiful, intelligent, charismatic, humorous woman."

"You are so buttering me up right now," I couldn't stop the upturn of my lips.

"I'm glad it's working," he had an airy tone to his voice.

Lifting my head back up to look at him. "I do want to tell you though, about what he did." My words made both of our faces fall, but he nodded for me to continue.

"If you feel that it will help you," he said.

"I do," I said. "Kurama, my ex… It wasn't something he'd do often. But every once in a while…" I closed my eyes trying not to picture the scene. "He would yell at me to stay perfectly still. Then wrap his hands around my neck." I could feel him stiffen even more next to me, if possible, as my hands once more went to my neck in a protective manner. "He would choke during sex as he demanded I not move. And he would yell at me calling me a things like 'dirty slut' or 'whore'. If that didn't feel like rape than I don't know what it was."

"Did you ever tell him no?" His voice was so low that it almost scared me.

Shaking my head I opened my eyes to gaze down at the carpet. "No I didn't. I couldn't. Honestly, I felt like if I said I didn't like things than I was afraid he'd leave and I'd be alone again. He was the only person I had in St Cloud. If he left than what would I do?"

"I'm sure he knew that as well," Kurama took a deep breath and rubbed his thumb over the knuckles of my hand.

"I only told him 'no' once," I admitted. Taking a deep breath. "He had me brace against the wall of our bedroom. I didn't think anything different of it at the time, but that's when he smacked me with my own studded belt. And he really didn't go light on me."

"What?" Kurama's voice was short and harsh. "Fuck, you have to be kidding."

"No," I shook my head, feeling the heaviness of my eyelids. "I told you once that my dad had only done that to me once and it wasn't bad because he wasn't doing it to hurt me. Well, my ex did it to hurt me."

"But you said 'no'?"

"Yes," I nodded. I remembered turning around and grabbing the belt from his hands and demanding that he never did that again. "He didn't use the belt again. Didn't mean he didn't find other things to do to me."

"Botan," Kurama said and lifted on hand to run the back of his fingers over my cheek. "I won't let anything like that happen to you again." Sighing, I looked into his eyes as his hand turned to cup my face. I watched as he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. He lingered there barely touching my mouth before pulling back enough to look into my eyes. "I watch you to look at me for a moment."

"What do you mean?" I was confused. I was looking at him.

"I want you to watch my face," he whispered, his breath lightly hitting my lips. Nodding, I swallowed. I had a feeling I wasn't going to like this. "I know deep down you know it's me in front of you. Keep that in mind."

His hand let go of my face as he lightly trailed his fingertips over my chin. My chest started to move quicker than normal as I started to realize what he was intending. Grazing the edge of my chin, his thumb tilted my face up word so he could lay a quick kiss to my lips before pulling back slightly again.

"Keep looking at my face Botan," he coached. I tried to keep my eyes on his green orbs. The compassion burning in there was enchanting as his light fingers skimmed just under my jaw. Swirling colors and emotions in his eyes almost distracted me from the feel of his index finger finding the junction to my neck. Sucking in a nervous breath, my breath was trying to match the movement of my chest. "It's ok, Botan. It's just me. I won't hurt you."

His voice was calm as he kept his eyes on my. The sensation of his fingers slowly making their way down my neck put my skin on fire. "Kurama?"

"Shhh," he whispered and inched his face closer to mine a bit. My eyes darted to his lips momentarily as I felt his palm against the side of my neck. "It's ok, Botan. I'm here for you."

I sighed when his lips touched mine in a slow soft kiss. One that made me forget about the hollow pain in my chest and focus on the lips romancing my broken heart.

AN: I might not get a chance to update tomorrow. Spending the day with my mom. So here's one more for you.


	41. Chapter 41

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: Don't own nothing. **

Chapter forty one

As the days ticked down, I felt like I had to find things to distract me from the pregnancy and from the mental struggles I was dealing with. The more answers I got the more questions seemed to appear. If it wasn't one thing, then it would be another.

* * *

"You got something on your shirt," Yusuke pointed to my pink blouse. Leaning my chin down I looked at the fabric in search of some giant stain. "April Fools!"

"You're a dick," I rolled my eyes, placing my hands on top of my swollen belly. Shaking my head I looked over at Kurama and Keiko at our breakfast bar chatting away. Yusuke sat on the leather couch kiddy corner to me.

"Oh come on, it's my favorite day of the year," Yusuke laughed and I raised my eyebrows.

"Believe me, I know," I told him with little humor in my voice. "I've had my fair share of your pranks. The rubber bands on the driveway that my dad was pissed about for weeks. The bucket of water over the door senior year when I stayed with you, shaving cream in the hand, post-it's all over my car windows when I left school one year, the rubber bands covering my phone, the life size face in the toilet, the monster outside my window at night, and not to mention the baking soda donuts. That last one was just cruel."

He laughed and the sigh that left his mouth was one of pure joy. "I've gotten you pretty good over the years."

"I really hope I'm not the only one you do this to," I said looking over at the two in the kitchen. Keiko had this sparkle in her eyes so I assumed they were talking about her father's restaurant.

"Nah," he shook his head. "I've gotten Keiko a few times."

"Only a few?" I raised my eyebrows again at him.

"Yep," he looked down at his hands momentarily. "I stick to one every couple of years because pay back _is_ really a bitch when it's from her. Seriously, I don't need to go through that every single time I pull a prank on her. Less is more in this situation."

Laughing I bit my lip picturing Keiko beating up Yusuke. "So how long have you known Kurama?" He stuttered for a moment at the change of topic before swiping a hand over his face. "Don't think too hard on this question."

"Oh hardy har har," he rolled his eyes. "Whenever he moved to town. He'd been here a few months when I met him. Maybe two… three tops, years now."

"I don't remember you guys talking about him," I gave him an awkward tilt of my lips.

"It was slightly before you met… that one guys," Yusuke flicked his wrist like he was just waving off his comment. "I delivered to him a lot. That was before he started Target. Just moved here, right out of college, and didn't have a job."

"Kind of a weird town to move to right out of college," I gave a sarcastic laugh. "There really isn't much here besides residential stuff. I mean yeah, there's town square. But unless you went for teaching… It's not like we have a lot of business around this area."

"I'm pretty sure he followed a girl," Yusuke reached for his drink at the table.

"A girl?" I admit, there was a bit of jealousy in my voice. "Was he dating her when you guys became friends?"

Yusuke took that moment to sip from his glass. "This is more of a Kurama or Keiko conversation. Why don't you ask one of them?"

"But I'm asking you?" I was slightly taken a back that he was edging around this. "Yusuke, why don't you want to talk about this?"

"I'm just an innocent bystander," Yusuke set his drink back down and lifted his hands up in defense. "It's in the past. He's with you now. Let's keep that shit buried."

"You guys hungry yet?" Keiko called over moments before her and Kurama approached. I smiled at Kurama as he held up a drink for me.

"Fuck man, I'm always hungry," Yusuke grumbled. That's when I reached up with my left hand to grab the glass. "What the fuck is that?"

"Yusuke, you are such a potty mouth today," Keiko scolded him.

"No, seriously," Yusuke looked back at Keiko with his jar hanging open and his eyebrows furrowed. "Look at that. What is that?"

Raising the cool liquid to my mouth I tried to hide my smirk. Kurama shifted awkwardly from his spot, but neither of us attempted to explain. I let the juice run down my throat before taking a deep breath into the cup. Then slowly I lowered it to the table.

"Botan, your hand," Yusuke pointed to the hand that had held my drink.

"Oh my, is that a ring?" Keiko gasped, a hand flying to her mouth.

"I think you are trying to give me a heart attack!" Yusuke jumped up from the chair to pace back and forth. "Is that why you guys invited us over?"

"Partially," I said honestly. A smile played on my lips as I looked down at the diamond on my finger. "It is really pretty." Glancing back I let my teeth show as I grinned at Kurama who was gave me soft smile in return.

"Fuck, shit, ugh," Yusuke thrust his palms into his eyes like he was trying to blind himself. "Did you at least tell your parents? Fuck."

"No, we haven't talked about that," I said watching him practically run circles around a silent Keiko.

"Damn it, Keiko," Yusuke threw his arms in the arm. "Talk to them. Tell them it's too soon."

She bit her lip and took a deep breath, letting it out through her nose. "Well, if this is what they want to do, Yusuke. I'm not one to stop them."

"Bullshit," Yusuke glared at her. "You would be first in line if she weren't preggers."

"I'm not sure how to take that," I mumbled to myself.

"I need a real drink," Yusuke walked to the kitchen and threw open our fridge. I listened to it slam shut before several cabinets where opened and shut. "Where is all the alcohol guys?"

"I'm pregnant," I called out to him.

"I'm not!" Yusuke retorted and Kurama raised an eyebrow at me. Biting my lip, I looked back down at the ring. He sighed before shutting one more cabinet and returning to the group. Throwing himself down on the chair again he closed his eyes.

"Yusuke?" I whispered and he slowly opened one eye to look at me. "Happy April Fools day."

"You have to be kidding me!" Keiko snickered behind him and Kurama held his hand up to his mouth. "All of you? Really guys?"

"You know if I had been further a long in the pregnancy I would have faked my water breaking," I said honestly before holding up my hand, wiggling the ring finger. "This came from the toy vending machine in Cub. Twenty-five cents. Win."

"You're a bitch," Yusuke said but a smile appeared on his face.


	42. Chapter 42

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Some people would buy a Mustang, a house, or a pay for a maid with millions of dollars. I'd buy the rights to YYH. But sadly I don't have moneys to do that. Probably never will.**

**AN: I don't have writers block, I'm just not sure how I want to go about the next few chapters. Sorry if I don't update the next stuff every day. I'm just taking a bit longer to process what is going to happen. Plus work has kept me annoyingly busy.**

Chapter forty two

Sometimes I look back at our younger days and am amazed at everything we went through as a group. Part of me says 'Geeze, I really hope my child never has to go through the things I did.' While a part of me says 'I want my child to be wise enough to understand what it's like to be there though.'

* * *

"Botan, why am I here?"

"I haven't seen you a while and thought we should catch up." I gave my best sincere smile, but caught my fingers fidgeting and knew that he didn't miss it.

"Stop lying to me. Tell me before I just get up and leave," his voice was low and I could tell this wasn't an empty threat.

"Please don't leave!" I almost reached out for his hand, but I knew that would only piss him off. "I'm curious about some things and I figured you would have the answers I'm looking for."

"Why not ask one of your female friends?" he rolled his eyes but stayed seated. "I don't know anything about pregnancy."

I forced myself not to laugh. "It's about Kurama."

He grunted but didn't say anything. Folding his arms over his chest, I watched him lean back into the padded back of our booth. Pressing his lips together, he leveled me with a serious gaze. The red in his eyes darkening and I knew that he was raising his guard a bit.

"Hiei," I said, biting my lip momentarily. "You've known Kurama since before he moved here, right?"

"Yes," he nodded. "We went to college in Duluth together." I shouldn't have expected him to give me detailed answers.

"Why did Kurama pick Carver County to move to?" I asked wrapping my hands around the cool glass in front of me. Feeling the moisture from the sides of the cup seemed to distract me and calm my nerves.

"Are you seriously trying to get a peek into Kurama's past through his best friend?" Hiei raised one eyebrow. How does he do that? Just one eyebrow? Did he practice that or something…

I took a slow deep breath trying to find the perfect words. "Kurama doesn't like to talk about his past, ever."

"So you go around him to get your answers?"

"Maybe?" the smile I gave him felt like it was unintentionally apologetic.

"You know, this is pathetic, right?" he huffed slightly.

"I know," my words floated on a sigh as I gazed at the ice chunks in my water. "But for some reason, I can't seem to stop thinking about it."

"She's not in the picture anymore," Hiei told me. "He sees her at the grocery store and completely ignores her. She sees him at the post office and drives right on by. It's almost like they were never together."

"But she's still in town?" I asked and could feel my pulse quicken. My eyes raised to look at him only to see the tail end of an eye roll.

"Yes," he nodded. "But she works here. I wouldn't expect her to leave town because of a guy."

"That's what I did," I said softly. "I left St Cloud because of a guy."

"No," Hiei shook his head and leveled me with a serious stare. "You left Cloud because of a boy who was trying to see how far he could throw his new toy. There's a difference there. I'm just not sure you can see it."

I didn't know what to say in response so I didn't respond.

"If you insist on comparing your relationships, than it would be like your ex leaving town instead of you," Hiei explained. "She was the one with the issues and Kurama was the one who was taken advantage of. However the two situations are very different and shouldn't be compared in the way your puny brain is doing."

"How do you know I'm comparing them?" I tried ignoring his last comment.

"Because it's written all over your face," Hiei scoffed. "You make it so obvious. This baby has made you easier to read than before you left for college."

"Why did you come back here, Hiei, after college?" I asked. "You didn't have the best time in the town growing up?" He was silent for a moment and I took in his stiffened posture. "Was it your sister? You knew Kuwabara would look after her."

"As dumb as he is, yes," Hiei shut his eyes and made a face as if he couldn't believe what he was saying. "I knew the idiot would look after her. And I knew the old woman that the foster home gave her to was much better than the last. But after the previous man that had taken us in…"

"You mean the Tarukane family?" I nodded as I watched the anger flash through his eyes.

"I should have killed that man," he shook his head in anger. "I can't believe the foster system let him have us." I remember when they took Hiei away in a squad car, leaving Yukina on the curb watching. Keiko, Kuwabara, Yusuke, and myself were there within minutes of each other trying to comfort the poor girl. Her clothes had been dirty and torn. Tears had still been pouring down her face, glistening blues and reds from the flashing police lights. It was a while after that before Hiei had been allowed to return to town. He'd been sent to juvie for a while until they deemed it self-defense. By that time, she'd been put in a new home and Hiei was sent back into the local foster care.

"Your situation is partially why I'd never give my child up for adoption," I admitted to him. "I feel like the system is so flawed. And I couldn't bare it if my child were to go through something like that."

"It's not all as bad as that one," he told me.

"Wait a moment, is Hiei saying something positive?" I laughed as he narrowed his eyes. "Sorry, please continue."

"I'm happy that Yukina ended up with that old woman," Hiei loosened up a bit now that we'd moved passed the bad home.

"Genkia has been great to her," I smiled at him reassuringly. "But you knew that and yet you still came back. Yukina doesn't need her big brother to always protect her."

"Old habits are hard to break," he shrugged.

"Believe me, I know that very well," I gave a soft smile. "I'm glad you decided to come back."

"This is getting too sentimental for my taste," the look on his face made me laugh.

"But I have so many questions still," I protested as he scooted from the booth.

"Ask Keiko," he said. "Or better yet. Grow some balls and ask Kurama, like you should be. Stop bugging me about this shit."

Letting my face fall into a pout, I watched him turn and leave.

"Good talk Hiei," I sighed but deep down I knew that this was actually one of our better days. Progress. I'll take this as a win.


	43. Chapter 43

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

**AN: I think this is the longest story I have ever written in my life!**

Chapter forty three

The internet was my best friend for a while. It would give me ideas of what to expect and how to deal with things. So when I'd feel those nasty kicks to the ribs or see the foot coming up from my belly, I'd know how to deal with that. Although I have to admit, when I saw the whole outline of a foot coming through my stomach, it really freaked me out. Like something from Rosemary's Baby.

* * *

"This sunshine is so nice!" Keiko giggled as we sat on a couple of mesh camping chairs on our balcony. "I've missed it all winter. So happy the snow is gone, right now."

"Careful," I laughed. "It's still April. Don't get too excited because the snow will be back in no time. I wouldn't be surprised if the weatherman said we have a blizzard next week."

"Shhh," Keiko scolded. "Don't talk like that." We both laughed as we watched the couple of clouds float over the blue sky. It was almost seventy degrees in the middle of April and I knew this weather wouldn't last and I was sure deep down, Keiko did too. "I heard you saw Hiei the other day."

"How did you know that?" I really shouldn't have been shocked that she had found out.

She glanced at me momentarily with a soft smile on her face. "I have my ways."

"Oh come on, Keiko."

Laughing, Keiko nodded in defeat. I knew it wouldn't last long. We'd never been able to keep much from each other. I think the baby was the longest I'd ever kept anything from her. Well besides the events in St Cloud. "Hiei came into the restaurant looking for Yusuke, but he was out on a delivery. And I know he only comes to town for certain people."

"What did he want from Yusuke?" my curiosity spiking. I hope he didn't blab what we had discussed at lunch.

"He was looking to waste time until Yukina was done with work," Keiko shrugged. "I made a point to find out who he came to see though." I sighed at her unspoken question.

"It's weird for me," I admitted and I noticed her turn to look at me out of the corner of my eye. "It's weird to imagine Kurama with another woman before me. I know its jealousy and curiousity, but you know me. I can't stop it. He's so amazing with me, so gentle and sweet. But I can't help but wonder if he was like that with her too."

"This was all because of her?" Keiko laughed. "Oh Botan. She's way out of the picture. Seriously. That girl is not coming back. And we are all happy about that."

"But no one wants to talk about it," I told her. "If you are all so over it than why can't anyone fill me in?"

"Because she really messed up the group and no one wants to relive that pain," Keiko had this sad smile on her face when I looked at her straight on.

A string of curses escaped my lips as I stood up from my chair. Her coffee eyes followed my movements. Raising arms above my head, I attempted to stretch the muscles over my ribcage. "Stop kicking me there little boy." Lowering one hand, I tenderly rubbed the affected area.

"You alright?" Keiko asked as she watched.

Nodding I took several breaths waiting for my baby calm down. Once I felt secure enough, I sat back down in the chair. "I think he may be a soccer player someday," I joked with her.

"How do you know she won't come back?" I asked after a moment of silence.

"Because Kurama and I are still friends," she scoffed and I looked over at her with my eyebrows scrunching over my forehead. "She had issues with our friendship."

"But you've always been with Yusuke," I couldn't stop the shock that threaded through my words. "It's not like you were ever a threat."

"Not that it would matter," she laughed. "She made him choose between the group or her. All because I was friends with everyone."

"He chose the group?" I was surprised actually. This was the girl he followed from college and gave up on her.

"No he didn't," Keiko admitted and I felt like that shocked expression was going to permanently stay on my face. "But the crazy side never really went away. And he got lonely. After a while Kurama would order from the restaurant just to talk to Yusuke for a few minutes. Or he'd swing by the school to 'see her' and then talk to Yukina in the office for a half an hour. Eventually she caught him talking to me at the grocery store. We'd made a silent agreement to 'accidently' do our shopping together."

"It would be hard to live in a small town and not be able to talk to anyone," I admitted.

"After a while she broke up with him because he apparently didn't love her like she loved him," Keiko rolled her eyes. "That's not love. That's control."

"What's her name, Keiko?"

"I know you know her," Keiko said quietly. "I'm nervous to tell you because I don't want you to say anything or do something to her."

"I will remain neutral," I smiled to myself.

"Please Botan," Keiko urged. "Kurama has moved on. Don't stir the pot with this girl."

"Just give me a name," I told her.

"It's Maya."

I was silent as her face popped into my mind. The round cheeks and short brown hair. She was indeed a teacher, an English teacher in fact. Shaking my head, I couldn't count the number of times she'd been into ground to get a big box of coffee for teachers meetings or after school activities. I could even tell you her preferred beverage. A large hazelnut mocha.

"Do you think she knows that Kurama and I are…." I trailed off thinking about my question.

"I don't know, Botan," she shook her head. "But please leave this alone."


	44. Chapter 44

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke **

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

Chapter forty four

There was so much to adjust to when I was at the end of the second trimester. I had a lot of pregnancy symptoms as well as my own mental dramatics. The hardest part was knowing that my baby comes first and trying to convince myself I didn't care about the million things my brain was throwing at me.

* * *

"I think it looks cute," his voice said from the bed behind me.

Shaking my head I held my pink lace maternity shirt up to my bust. "No, baby animals are cute. This is just … ugly."

"Oh stop," he laughed and reached out to grab my hips. Lacing his fingers through my belt loop, I felt him tug me to stand in between his hips. "It's a normal pregnancy occurrence."

"I can deal with the belly, I can deal with the stretch marks," I shook my head again. "But this… this is too much."

"It's just a belly button," he raised his eyebrows at me. Leaning forward, Kurama placed a kiss under the protruding navel we were discussing.

"I read somewhere that I could just put a band aid over it and it wouldn't show," I told him, my face dropping to a pout.

Tilting his head, he said, "And why would you do that?" His thumbs rubbed circles on my skin right above the belt loops he was attached to.

"Because it's ugly," I rolled my eyes. I had just said that.

"No its not," he told me again. "I like it. I wish you always had one."

"You're disgusting," I said and he laughed. The green in his eyes sparkled. Lowering my shirt back down to cover my belly, I could still see my belly button sticking out. "You know, it's weird. Keiko comes over and the baby kicks almost the whole time. But when I'm with you… he's so quiet and calm."

"Maybe that's a sign that we should be together more often?" he raised one eyebrow. Maybe it was something the two of them worked on in college. It made me giggle picturing Kurama and Hiei practicing the one eyebrow raise together. "What?"

"It's not like you don't see me every day, already," I smiled down at him.

He paused for a few seconds. "I was actually thinking, maybe tonight we could share a bed."

Blinking at his words, I didn't respond. We had only shared a bed that first night. Honestly, I had loved that, but I also didn't want to move our relationship too fast. After all, there was a baby on its way. Why complicate things more than they had to be?

"Just one night," Kurama said. "Let's just see how things go. I know you struggle to sleep with the baby and if I calm him down, then maybe you might be able to sleep a little bit more."

I breathed heavily looking down at his face. "That sounds like you're using the baby to get in the sack with me."

He gave me a small shrug and a tilt of his lips. "You caught me. But I'm not asking for sex. Just one night with you and me in the same bed."

I was silent while I looked at his face. Trying to read the lines in his face, I thought about all the different outcomes that could happen if I agreed. Slowly, I nodded and a smile broke out on his face. "Just one night to see how it goes. One night, Kurama."

"One night," he nodded and moved his hands up to the hem of my shirt. Rolling it up to just below that hideous belly button, Kurama placed another kiss on my skin. He left the area warm and tingly. "Thank you baby for convincing your mother that I'm a good guy."

My mouth dropped open but a short laugh came from my throat. "He did not convince me of anything."

"Are you sure about that?" he laughed and stood up then to wrap his arms around my waist. Pressing my lips together I didn't respond. I knew him well enough to know that whatever I said he could laugh and turn my words to make it sound like he wanted to. Kurama was very quick on his feet and he never used that talent negatively against me. It was always in fun.

But just from those instances, I always wonder how he let that woman get the best of him. He was so good with words that it's amazing he succumbed to her logic. Unless he didn't try to fight her. It's hard for me to see a version of Kurama willing to submit to poor logic.

I promised Keiko I wouldn't say anything. So smiling softly I laid my head on his shoulder and let him hold me. "Are you going to tell him a story tonight?"

When Kurama chuckled, I felt the vibrations down to my toes. "Anything you have in mind?"

"I think I have something here or there," I smiled and nuzzled my face against the soft fabric of his white tee shirt.


	45. Chapter 45

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or Sherlock Holmes**

******AN: I haven't received a review in a while... what's up with that? I'm sad that I feel like I'm begging for reviews. I understand that I am writing this for me, but your guys feed back makes me WANT to continue. I'm honestly starting to question this fandom. And that depresses me. I have been a part of the YYH fandom for over ten years. I am really disappointed right now. **

Chapter forty five

It's taken me a while to realize that really is the little things in life that I should cherish. While a decent percentage of the big things in my life have not been the most pleasant, the little things that people do make everything worthwhile. The little tid bits that people give me make the bad situations worth dealing with.

* * *

"You seriously want me to read Sherlock Holmes to him?" Kurama took the book from my hands. His lips were parted and his eyes were suspicious. "Where did you even get this book?"

"What? Can I not own Sherlock Holmes?" I felt slightly offended. Pushing a few blue strands behind my ear, I felt the muscles in my jaw tighten.

"That's not what I meant to imply," his lips fell to a frown as he crawled up the bed to sit next to me. "I just thought that it seemed out of place with your usual collection of books. It's not a smut romance novel."

I puffed my cheeks at that comment. "I do own classic novels as well. I read The Canterbury Tales, Alice in Wonderland, The Outsiders, The Yearling, and many others. Have you looked at my bookshelf?"

He laughed at my defensive tone. "You also told me your dad grounded you for a whole summer and forced you to read The Yearling and The Outsiders and then write papers about them. I really don't think those count in this discussion."

I paused and tried to think of something smart to say. Shaking my head, all I could come up with was, "Touche." Reaching my hand over, I attempted to take the book from his hands but he held it barely out of my grasp.

"But if this is what you would like, I will read this," he met my eyes with a serious gaze. "I do enjoy a good mystery, after all. I'll even read Edgar Allen Poe if you would like. I know how much you like those old Vincent Price movies."

I stayed silent, but watching him carefully. Sometimes I was amazed that this wonderful man was in my life. "Thank you," I mumbled quietly as his smile warmed my insides, chipping away at the ice still encasing my thawing heart.

Kurama looked down at the book in his hand, before situating himself so that his head as against the side of my breast and my arm as around his shoulder. "Is this alright for you?" I knew he positioned himself there so when he read, his voice would be closer to my stomach. Nodding, I let my fingers run through the red locks. He opened the hardcover novel flipped to the first chapter.

"In the year 1878 I took my degree of Doctor of Medicine of the University of London, and proceeded to Netley to go through the course prescribed for surgeons in the army. Having completed my studies there, I was duly attached to the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers as Assistant Surgeon. The regiment was stationed in India at the time, and before I could join it, the second Afghan war had broken out. On landing at Bombay, I learned that my corps had advanced through the passes, and was already deep in the enemy's country. I followed, however, with many other officers who were in the same situation as myself, and succeeded in reaching Candahar in safety, where I found my regiment, and at once entered upon my new duties."

As I continued to play with his hair, my other hand rubbed tenderly against my stomach. Kurama's voice was smooth and calming. If someone told me last year this is where I would be, I'd have laughed and told them they were crazy. But here I was with this perfect man and a baby on the way. Life was strange, but I honestly felt like I was in the right spot. For the first time in my life I felt like this was home to me. I'm almost positive I had never felt like this.

Part of me wondered if this would eventually end because that's what I was used to. But another part hoped that this was the long haul situation. And as I listened to Kurama read about how Watson and Sherlock met, I felt an ache in my heart. I didn't want this to end.

I didn't want his gentle touch to go away or to say good bye to his sweet kisses. It would be too hard to not have that playful banter with secret smiles being traded. Deep down, I wanted him to always be present and I wanted my son to grow up like the man next to me.

Blinking, I tried to focus in on the words Kurama was reading,

" 'Nothing of the sort. I _knew_ you came from Afghanistan. From long habit the train of thoughts ran so swiftly through my mind, that I arrived at the conclusion without being conscious of intermediate steps. There were such steps, however. The train of reasoning ran, 'Here is a gentleman of a medical type, but with the air of a military man. Clearly an army doctor, then. He has just come from the tropics, for his face is dark, and that is not the natural tint of his skin, for his wrists are fair. He has undergone hardship and sickness, as his haggard face says clearly. His left arm has been injured. He holds it in a stiff and unnatural manner. Where in the tropics could an English army doctor have seen much hardship and got his arm wounded? Clearly in Afghanistan.' The whole train of thought did not occupy a second. I then remarked that you came from Afghanistan, and you were astonished.' "

I loved that he changed the tone in his voice when he read dialogue. I loved the excitement in that came with every word like he was thoroughly enjoying himself while reading to my child.

…I loved him…

Taking a shallow breath I let that thought sink in.

Oh my god, I really loved this man. And after the first initial thought, I let it sink and then it wasn't as surprising. A small satisfied smile crossed my face. Of course I did. He was practically perfect, how could I not.

The real issue though, was how did he feel towards me?


	46. Chapter 46

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke **

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

**AN: I seriously meant to post this like... three days ago, but I got sooo busy! I went to The Fray concert and got briefly meet the frontman and won tickets to a special screening of Transformers before it hits theaters. Then I went to the big amusement park around here the next day. On top of that I've had work and family crap. This weekend might be tricky to post too, the in-laws are coming up for a visit so stick with me there!**

Chapter forty six

Sometimes the realizations of love or loss can change a person. When I found out I was pregnant, I went through a lot of changes. But I think over all it made me a happier person than I had been in a long time.

* * *

I stood next to Juri at the bar in Grounds. We had been standing in that spot for a few minutes now watching a man I vaguely recognized and his daughter. Giggling, the little girl looked up at him and handed the man a thin white rope. Shaking his head with a small smile, he refused to take it.

Shaking her head to out-do his movements, she jumped back a few steps. I assumed she was maybe five. The blonde in her hair shined under the fluorescent lights.

Flicking the rope, the little stuffed animal on the other end sprang into the air. Landing on its bottom, the girl giggled again. "Look daddy! He's sitting." Pressing my lips together I tried not to laugh. The stuffed animal was made to appear like it was always sitting. "Good kitty." She flicked the rope again. "Now sit!" The animal most definitely was sitting. She gave a high pitched laugh that made Juri cringe. "He's sitting."

I looked away with a broad smile on my face. It was so cute how excited she was getting over the cheap toy. "Are you ready for one of those?"

Glancing at Juri, I turned to gather a few of our metal steaming cups to bring to the back. "Yeah, I'm getting there. I mean I really had never thought I'd want to be a mother. But I'm starting to get really excited."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Juri shake her head. "I can't believe you are gonna have a little you."

Laughing I turned to face her. With one free hand I motioned to my belly. "Believe this. It's really happening."

The bell over the door rang as I watched Keiko walk through the entryway. "Hey girls," she smiled at us behind the bar. "Hello Midori." Keiko waved at the child who flashed her teeth in response. Walking passed the customers, Keiko stood at the end of the bar. "How's it going over here?"

Juri yawned and I shrugged behind her. "Same old, same old," I told her.

"You're glowing," Keiko laughed. "So I know that's not true."

"It's probably just the pregnancy glow," I comment, waving it off. Do I tell her about my realization from the other day?

"Sure," she eyed me suspiciously.

"Here, I'll take those in the back," Juri took the cups from my hands and walked through the swinging door.

"You caught me," I laughed. "I've been in a great mood. The last week has been amazing. Kurama's been reading to the baby and I've actually been getting some sleep for once."

"He's reading to the baby?" Keiko asked, slightly taken back. "I hope it's not that book Yusuke bought you guys the other day."

I laughed. Yusuke had purchased a book and CD that went with it for Kurama and I. It was called 'Go the Fuck to Sleep' and the CD had Samuel L. Jackson reading the book. It was rather cute. "No, he's been reading 'A Study in Scarlet'."

"You mean Sherlock Holmes?" Keiko's eyebrows furrowed. "Isn't that… advanced?"

"Well, the baby can't decipher what we are actually saying at this point. It's just getting used to the sounds of our voices," I explained to her. "It's not like he's going to understand that Sherlock Holmes was a cocaine addict. He hears my voice all day, and I think it's great that Kurama's reading to him at night."

"So about this not putting Kurama in the father position….?" Keiko let her sentence die off. Her look was very expectant and I didn't know what to say. I guess I had kind of let him slip into that role.

"Keiko…" I took a deep breath. I was going to tell her. Who cares how hard it was to say out loud, it had to be done.

The bell over the door rang and I glanced over only to feel my muscles stiffen. It was her. I hadn't seen her since I'd found out. From across the bar I heard Keiko let out a deep breath. "I guess this is my queue. I'll let you get back to work. Am I going to see you tomorrow? Wednesday? Like usual?"

I nodded to her before walking over to the register. "Hello Maya," I smiled as kindly as I could. "What can I get for you today?"

As Keiko passed behind her, it wasn't difficult to feel the tension between the three of us. Keiko looked so much more guarded then I'd seen her in a long time. Her chin was high and eyes dark, shoulders back, and hands clenched. Maya on the other hand looked pissed off and disgusted at the same time. I really couldn't stop myself, I really couldn't.

"Have a good night Keiko," I called before she hit the door. Turning, she waved with a small smile. "I'll call you tomorrow to set up a time for lunch."

Her smile only widened slightly. I wasn't going to hide my friendship with Keiko or my relationship with Kurama because this girl had issues. Using the small of her back to push open the door, Keiko left the store.

"What can I get for you; sorry about that?" I asked again and this time when I looked at her, I could see the fire in her eyes and the stress in her cheek muscles.

"Maybe I should take my business elsewhere," she mumbled and I raised an eyebrow. Koenma would be pissed on some level.

"Is there something wrong with our coffee?" I asked sweetly.

She took a deep breath through her nose. "No. Just the customer service."

"I'm very sorry you feel that way," I told her, honestly.

Shaking her head, Maya turned and quickly exited the building. I had no doubt she would return. In this town, there really wasn't another coffee shop. She would have to drive ten minutes to Eden Prairie to get her coffee or go to the gas station. I assumed she'd be back.

**AN: I really don't know much about Maya, just the basics. Sorry if I'm making her seem like a big B. However to me, she's a blank slate I can play with. **


	47. Chapter 47

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH **

**AN: Sorry it's been so long, I've recently been going through a lot of tough shit and I'm trying to deal with that. So in my down time it's hard for me to feel like writing (I know that's what you guys want though) but It's been really difficult. I'm trying though, for you guys to get some stuff out there. **

Chapter forty seven

Growing up, I always told my mother I didn't want children. I remember telling her over and over again that I didn't want to be like my father. That I knew I had anger issues like him, but I didn't want a child to go through what I did. And that I didn't want to become him. She'd always shake her head and tell me I was nothing like my father. She'd say that I had 'control'.

* * *

"I honestly think it could have gone a lot worse," Kurama sighed as I walked through the front door to our apartment. Tossing my bag on the counter, I turned to glare at him.

"Are you for real right now?" I asked feeling the muscles in my face tense up. My hands found their way to my hips. "He got up and walked out of the room."

"Yes, I know," Kurama nodded and locked the door before facing me. His eyes looked serious and nervous at the same time. "But at least he didn't argue what I said."

"It doesn't mean he won't in the future!" I felt my temper slowly rising.

"Botan, he was going to find out eventually anyways," Kurama took a step towards me and I raised one hand up to stop him.

"No way mister," I shook my head. "You are not going to touch me and make me forget why I'm mad right now."

"Botan, please," he all but whispered, even though Kurama didn't make a further attempt to approach me.

"No," I shook my head again. "Why today? It's Easter and you had to say it today."

"You weren't going to," Kurama pressed his lips together and for a moment I thought he might be getting irritated with me. "Would you have said something if I hadn't?"

I paused for a moment thinking back on the several opportunities I'd had lately to speak up. "Honestly… no, no I wouldn't have said anything. Especially not on a holiday."

Blinking a few times, he glanced up at the ceiling. "I think you are over reacting, Botan."

A deep breath in was all I got before my anger really started to show. "Don't ever tell me I'm over reacting, Kurama."

"Why are you so mad, right now?" Kurama asked and I just wanted to reach over and grab his pony tail and yank.

"Because," I snapped and I faltered. "Because-"

"Because you don't know why you're yelling at me," he said calmly.

"No, that's not it at all," I glared into his vibrant green eyes. The longer I did however, I started to lose my steam. "Stop looking at me like that. It's not fair."

"I can't touch you, I can't look at you," I watched his lips twitch. "Next you're gonna tell me I can't be in the same room as you when we argue."

"I might just have to demand that next," I closed my eyes and breathed. Bringing back the reason I was mad, I said, "Seriously Kurama. Why did you tell my dad?"

"Is this really about your dad?" he asked and the playful glimmer left his eyes. "Or is this more about what I said. We'd talked about this before, Botan. But if you're unsure, let's figure something else out."

Shaking my head, I dropped my hands from my hips and let my glaze slide to my full belly. "I don't know Kurama…. I think… I think I'm just scared."

He took a step forward and out of the corner of my eye I saw his fingers twitch. "Can I touch now that your anger is gone?" Raising my head to give him a soft smile, he pulled me into his arms. "What are you scared about?"

For a moment, I stayed silent trying to sort through my thoughts. Deep down, I knew I loved this man. However, there was still that nagging thought about what he saw in me. "Is this what you really want to do?"

"Yes, it is," I felt Kurama nod his head against my hair. "I want to stay here after the baby's born. I want us to share a room and for your room to become his. I don't think it's necessary to get a three bedroom, unless you'd be more comfortable with that."

Pausing again, I thought about it. I wanted to tell him my feelings but they got stuck in my throat. Maybe if he knew that I loved him, there really would be no worries about our living situation. But I was nervous. Boy was I nervous though. I knew Kurama wasn't trying to trap me into something I didn't want to do, but it didn't make my uneasiness go away.

What if he didn't love me? Or what if he thought he did…. Until the baby was born. I think when it came down to it, I was scared that his feelings were true. There was no doubt that he believed he cared deeply for me. Not that we've said the 'L' word to one another. But what if his subconscious was just saving the damsel in distress? It was something that had been nagging at me for a while now.

My fingers played with the fabric of his shirt as he let me stay silent in my thoughts.

There was a time in my life when someone told me that were two types of guys drawn to me. The villain and the hero. They said that they were drawn to me because I came off as the damsel in distress. The villain just always got to me first. But I really didn't want a hero in Kurama. I wanted him to be the villager who worked in the market. If Kurama was the hero then he may get bored once the battles over and go off to find another treasure. Whereas the villager was there for the long haul because it's what he'd worked toward since the day he was born.

But do I take the chance and hope he's the villager and not the hero?

Nodding to myself, I licked my lips. "Alright, Kurama. Let's stay here." Silently I hoped that he didn't get tired of me after the baby was born. I prayed he wasn't the hero.

AN: Vacations coming up so even if I can't get to updating in the next few days. Just remember that's what I plan to do most of my vacation. It starts the 16th guys! By the way, please review. I'm battling that darn writers block and could really use some feed back!


	48. Chapter 48

**Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive**

**By Rikku Minouke**

**Disclaimer: ugh… no YYH for me**

**AN: I want to dedicate this next chapter to FireStorm1991 for being so awesome and helping me get over all my personal shit. It wasn't much but it was exactly what I needed at the time.**

Chapter forty eight

It took me a really long time to figure out what my mother meant when she talked about my control. For a long time I thought she meant I had more of her in me than my father. But as I went through the pregnancy, I realized that it wasn't what I was born with, but what I surrounded myself with. I had so many positive people in my life that I couldn't help raise my child in a positive and up standing fashion.

* * *

I sat on the balcony with Keiko next to me. Her brown hair fluttered in the light breeze as she closed her eyes, basking in it. "I wouldn't mind if it was just a few degrees warmer so we wouldn't have to wear these zip ups, but beggars can't be choosers."

Giggling, I lifted my water glass to my lips. "I don't mind the temperature actually," I told her sipping the cool liquid. "I've been so overheated with the baby, that this is kinda nice."

"This is, what, twenty nine weeks, right?" She asked, opening her eyes to look over at me and I felt the need to give her a smile that I didn't quite feel.

"Yep, the third trimester is well on its way now," I nodded and set my drink down in the cup holder.

"What's up, Botan?" Keiko said seriously. "You've been kinda zoned out the last few weeks. Was it because of Maya coming in to the shop?"

When I shook my head, I couldn't meet her gaze. "No. Well that sucked but, that's not what's on my mind." She didn't speak as I pushed a strand of light blue hair behind my ear. "Keiko, I think …. I think I'm in love with Kurama."

She blinked several times. "Well of course you are."

"Excuse me?"

Laughing, she waved my concern away. "No, I mean that I knew you were. It's not hard to tell. Keep in mind I've known you a very long time. Botan, your pregnant and hormonal, but I've still never seen you this happy." I stayed silent as I thought about every single word she said. "Seriously, you go out of your way to bring him things. You don't really fight. I mean, yeah sure you argue. But that's not fighting. I've never once have had you call me looking for a place to cool down after an argument with this guy."

"I haven't slammed a door after talking to him," I nodded to myself.

"It's been months and you haven't wanted to tuck tail and leave yet," Keiko leveled me with a stare. "Or is that why you've been looking like someone ran over your cat."

"No, I don't want to leave him," I sighed and let my fingers fidget with the hem of my black shirt. "I'm just really scared."

"What do you have to feel scared about?" I could hear the serious twinge in her voice.

"I'm not sure if he loves me, Keiko," I explained.

"Don't be silly." I had no doubt that she rolled her eyes.

"Seriously," I shook my head more to myself than anyone.

"I am serious," Keiko laughed. "That man loves you one hundred percent."

"How can you tell?" I looked into her brown eyes.

"Why don't you just tell him how you feel?" she asked. "Instead of sitting around stressing yourself out about what if's and why not's."

"Do you remember when Shishi and I broke up?" she nodded at my words. "He told me I was just a damsel in distress and he was done being my hero."

I heard Keiko scoff, "That man was no hero."

"He wasn't," I smiled slightly. "But he told me that I had damsel in distress tattooed on my soul and that the only men who would want me are villains and heroes."

"Well Kurama for sure isn't a villain," Keiko told me and I took a deep breath.

"But I don't want him to be my hero." I could feel my pink eyes start to itch and I knew that was a bad sign. They were drying out before the storm hit.

"He'd be a pretty hot hero though," Keiko smirked at my blush.

"But still," I tried to hold back my giggle. "I mean look at me, Keiko. I'm obviously in need of a hero. I get it. But I don't want him to feel compassion toward me because deep down he knows he's doing the right thing. I want him to love me like I wasn't pregnant. Like I didn't need someone to take care of me."

"What makes you think he doesn't love you like that?" Keiko asked me and her voice was quieter this time.

"I'm just nervous," I sighed. "I'm letting Shishi's words get to me. I don't want a hero. I want the villager."

"The villager?" Keiko's eyebrows raised as her tone hitched slightly like she forced back a giggle. "I didn't think that was an option."

"It is now," I gave her a fleeting smile. "I want the man who has worked in the market his whole life selling fish or apples or something. I want the man that when he gets the girl that she's the treasure. I don't want the hero who goes off on adventures to save the girl and find a treasure chest."

"You want to be the treasure," Keiko nodded in understanding.

"What happens if he's the hero and after the girl is saved and the town celebrates," I started. "What if after a while he gets bored of the lack luster life and wants another quest? What if he doesn't want that used to be damsel anymore?"

"I think you're reading too much into this," Keiko pressed her lips together and intertwined her hands.

"Maybe I am," Shaking my head, I felt the hair tied up on my head swish from the hair band.

"Why can't the hero and the villager be the same?" Keiko asked after a moment. "Why can't the villager find and rescue the girl and become a hero in the act?"

I listened to her words and thought about the possibilities.


End file.
